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by luckyj525
Summary: Jasper: a distant, tortured man since his return home. Alice: an exuberant, optimistic woman who brings happiness to all who know her. Inexplicably drawn to each other, she brings him light. He learns she has darkness of her own. AH/AU/Canon pairings
1. Prologue

_**Disclaimer: **__Twilight_ is all Stephenie Meyer's creation, claro.

* * *

**Prologue**

It was the screaming that woke him. Trained to be a light sleeper, Jasper was awake and moving with the first yell. His brain moved slower than his feet, and he was racing into the room before his mind even computed that the screaming was coming from Alice.

He flung open the door to her bedroom and his heart almost stopped. She was thrashing on the bed, her face creased in pain, and screaming as if someone were stabbing her with a hot poker. "Alice!" he said loudly as he rushed towards her side.

He put his hands on her shoulders and drew her to a sitting position, shaking her frantically. "Alice, wake up. Alice! Alice, please, wake up."

Suddenly Alice stopped screaming, and her eyes flew open. Their faces only inches apart, Alice's eyes locked with his. Jasper inhaled sharply at the haunted, pained look in her large gray eyes. It was a look he had never seen from her before; a look he had hoped never to see on Alice. She should never know the pain that would put that expression on her face. "Don't touch me," she whimpered, flinching.

Jasper felt his chest tighten. Alice had never backed away from his touch before. His hands let go of her shoulders immediately, but she didn't seem to feel it. "Don't," Alice said again, her voice louder as she wrapped her arms around her legs.

Jasper took a step away from the bed. "I'm not. Alice, I'm not."

Jasper lifted his hands helplessly. He knew he should go and get Esme, but he remained indecisive. He couldn't leave Alice, couldn't tear his gaze away from her, but he knew he shouldn't get any closer to her. So he stood, rooted to his spot, not knowing what to do. "Alice, it's me," Jasper tried, keeping his voice calm and not moving a muscle.

His throat was starting to close up with panic. What had he done? Why was Alice afraid of him? "I'm not going to hurt you," he managed to say.

Alice's face was pressed against her knees. Jasper took a hesitant step forward as Alice started rocking back and forth. "Don't touch me!" she wailed again.

He whirled at a commotion at the door, and saw that Alice's screaming had woken up the rest of the house. Esme rushed in, Carlisle on her heels. Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, and Bella were coming down the hall as well. Esme went to the bed and put her arms around Alice, rocking her and whispering into her ear. "I don't know what happened," Jasper said to Carlisle, his words coming out quickly with a bit of defensiveness. "I heard her screaming. She was having a nightmare. So I came in here and I woke her up. Or I thought I did, but then she started screaming again and I couldn't – I didn't know what – "

"It's okay, Jasper," Carlisle interrupted, his voice low. "It wasn't your fault."

Jasper was surprised when his sister pushed past him and sat on the bed with Alice and Esme. Rosalie rubbed Alice's back, soothing her softly. Jasper turned to find Emmett, Edward, and Bella all standing in the doorway. Bella looked as confused as Jasper felt. Emmett looked concerned and resigned, and Edward seemed worried and thoughtful. "This has happened before," Carlisle continued softly. "She'll be fine."

"Fine?" Jasper echoed.

He needed somewhere to direct his anger, his helplessness, and Carlisle was right there. "She's not fine! What do you mean this has happened before? What's going on?"

* * *

_**Author's Note: **_This is an Alice/Jasper, All-Human story with canon pairings. After this prologue, chapters will be written in the first person of varying characters.


	2. The Delights of Addiction

_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own _Twilight_.

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**Jasper POV**

_Sand was blowing everywhere. I could feel it whipping against my skin and taste it in my mouth, and I was glad I wore glasses to protect my eyes. And so I kept driving. I – and the other three men on my team – had to reach the city before nightfall in order to take out the target. I had my orders, and nothing would prevent me from carrying them out – not even weather conditions that, in the corner of my mind, I worried could turn into a full-blown sandstorm. _

_But through the sand I could see a dark blob in the middle of the road. As I drove our military vehicle closer, I could see that it was a person standing there. A child. "Major, what the fuck is that, sir?" the man sitting next to me yelled._

"_Looks like a kid," I called back, struggling to be heard over the wind and sand roaring around them._

_And now, this was the hard part. I could feel anxiety and dread clutching my stomach. I didn't slow the vehicle, but I did lay on the horn in the hopes that the child would move out of my path. But the child – a girl, I could see now – didn't budge. Oftentimes the terrorists would use a distraction to slow or stop a vehicle, then set off an IED. As such, it went strictly against procedure to stop the vehicle or change course. "Major, what are you…" but my front-seat passenger trailed off without finishing the sentence._

_Because he knew what I was going to do; what I had to do. And there was no use talking about it._

I came awake with a start, sitting straight up in bed. My heart was beating fast, sweat beaded my brow, and I felt like I might throw up. I sat completely still for a moment and steadied my breathing. I hated these fucking nightmares – well, nightmare wasn't the right word for it, I suppose. Because it was a memory. It had really happened. I was haunted by these memories during the day, and I couldn't escape them in sleep. I didn't _deserve _to escape them.

But I hated feeling this way. Feeling more in control of myself now, I leaned over and rummaged through the crap piled up on the table next to my bed. I needed my pills to make me feel better. My heart rate sped up again as I realized the subscription bottles were empty. _How can I be out already? Goddamn it._

Ignoring the fact that it was three in the morning, I picked up my phone and placed the call. "_Hola_?" came the sultry voice on the other end.

"Maria, it's me. I – "

"_Hola cariño_," she purred seductively, and I clenched my fist to keep from groaning in annoyance.

I wasn't calling her for sex, and I didn't have time for her games. I needed my pills. I needed to forget my nightmare, I needed distance from my past. The pills gave me what I needed. They allowed me to exist in a haze where nothing and no one, whether they be flesh-and-blood people or the ghosts of my memories, could hurt me. I could forget what happened and just _be _in a painless fog of Vicodin. "Maria," I said, "I'm out of Vicodin."

I tried to keep my voice level. I tried to sound casual, unperturbed. She couldn't know how much I needed her right now, how much I needed her to give me some pills. I _needed_ them to get through the long days and even longer nights. "_Right now_?" she asked, and I realized she knew how desperate I was.

It was three am, and I was calling her and asking for Vicodin. Of course she knew. It had been stupid to think someone as manipulative and mean as Maria wouldn't sniff out a weakness immediately. "Yes. Right now," I admitted.

"_All right. Come on over_."

She hung up without waiting to hear my response. Promising myself I would get out of there as soon as I had the pills in hand, I got dressed and left my apartment.

* * *

**Alice POV**

I laughed as Rosalie crossed her arms and scowled. Rosalie, Emmett, and I had come to my parents' house an hour before. Rose wanted to borrow a pair of shoes I had left in my closet here, and – though he didn't say it – I knew Emmett tagged along because he was hoping Mom would have some leftovers in the refrigerator.

While digging through my closet for the shoes – how did I accumulate so much, anyway? My closet in my apartment was almost bursting, and I had left plenty of clothes and shoes in my old room at my parents' house as well – I had found a pair of really fabulous boots. Rosalie had spotted them as well and told me she changed her mind and, instead of the heels, wanted to wear the boots for her date with Emmett tonight.

There was absolutely no way I was letting Rose borrow them. These boots were in near-perfect condition, and I had every intention of taking them back to my apartment. Rosalie hadn't been happy to hear that, but I knew she would get over it. She could never stay mad at me for very long. "Come on," I said, getting up off the floor. "Let's go see what Emmett's found to eat."

I could hear Rosalie grumbling under her breath as she followed me downstairs and I pressed my lips together to suppress my smile. We entered the kitchen to find Emmett and, to my surprise, my father sitting there. "Dad!" I said, coming over and kissing him on the cheek. "I thought you'd be at work!"

He smiled at me. "So you thought you'd sneak in, eat your mother's food, and leave, without us being the wiser?"

Rosalie sat down next to Emmett as my lips curved. "Something like that," I teased.

I sat down as well. Rosalie's cell phone rang as I leaned over and swiped a piece of chicken from the plate Emmett was hogging. "Hey!" he hissed at me.

"Hello?" Rosalie answered her phone. "Yes, this is Rosalie. No it's Hale, not Whitlock."

I stuck out my tongue at Emmett, and Dad rolled his eyes. "I'm glad I've raised such mature children," he commented.

Suddenly there was panic in Rosalie's voice as she spoke into her phone. "When? How bad is it?"

I looked to Emmett, but he just shrugged. He put a hand on Rosalie's arm but she ignored him. Now Emmett, Dad, and I were all staring at her as she listened intently to what the person on the other end of the call was saying. "I – I will. Yes. I'm not sure when – all right. Yes."

She ended the call and Emmett immediately asked her what was wrong. I was concerned too; I had never seen Rosalie look so shaken before. "It's Jasper," she said, looking at Emmett and reaching up to clutch his hand.

Oh, no. Jasper was Rosalie's twin brother and, though Rosalie hadn't seen or heard from him for a few years now, I knew she loved him. He was the only family she had left. Jasper was in the military. I wasn't sure what, exactly, he did, and I didn't think Rosalie knew either. The last she had heard, he was in Afghanistan. Something must have happened to him if Rosalie was getting a call, but what – "He was in a car accident," Rosalie said.

She was still only speaking to Emmett, as if Dad and I weren't in the room. But I had no intention of leaving and giving them privacy. Hearing about Rosalie's brother had always intrigued me, and I wanted to know what had happened to him. I hoped he was okay – for Rose's sake. "I'm sorry baby," Emmett said, putting an arm around her shoulders. "Is he going to be okay?"

"They think so. That was the doctor."

Rosalie was talking slowly and carefully. I tried to curb my impatience. At least the doctors thought he would be okay. That was certainly good news, wasn't it? Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dad was also paying close attention. He was a doctor. Maybe, somehow, he could help…

Rosalie continued speaking. "He's in Texas."

"Texas?" I couldn't help asking. "I thought – "

"He's been back for a year," Rosalie said, ignoring me.

I glanced nervously at Emmett. It wasn't like Rosalie to recite facts in this emotionless tone. Was she in shock? "Rosie – " Emmett began, but she cut him off.

"He was discharged a year ago. He's been back in Texas for a year. And this morning he got into a car accident."

Rosalie spoke more quickly now, her words running together, but I was relieved to hear some feeling was now in her voice. "He's in the hospital, and they called me because I'm still listed as his emergency contact. They wanted to know – I don't even know what they want to know. Because clearly I don't know my brother at all."

"Rosie – " Emmett tried again.

"He's been in Texas for a year, Emmett. A _year_."

Uh-oh. Rosalie's voice was becoming more shrill. I glanced at Dad, who spoke up quickly to distract her. "How badly is he hurt, Rosalie?"

Rosalie paused, then looked away from Emmett for the first time to make eye contact with my father. "I – I don't know. They said I could see him."

"And you're his emergency contact on record?" Dad asked.

"That's what the woman on the phone said. The jackass didn't even tell me he'd put my name down," Rosalie muttered.

"Rosalie, they might need you there if they have any medical questions, or decisions that have to be made."

"I don't know how to do any of that stuff, Carlisle. And if Jasper's been back for a year and gotten along just fine without me, I don't see how me flying back to Texas will be any help to him now."

"I can go with you, babe," Emmett offered.

"You don't know any more than I do," Rosalie scoffed, but I saw her squeeze Emmett's hand.

"I can go with you and Emmett, Rosalie," Dad offered.

Emmett gave Dad a nod, but Rosalie hesitated. I knew that even after all this time, she still had trouble accepting that we considered her to be a part of our family. It wasn't in Rosalie's nature to accept help from anyone. I wonder if Jasper is the same way…well, there's only one way to find out. "I'll come too," I volunteered.

But Rosalie and Dad both shook their heads. "You have work," Rosalie pointed out.

"Rosalie's right, Alice," Dad said. "There's no need for you to come."

* * *

**Rosalie POV**

My brother is a piece of shit. Maybe I should be worried because he was in a bad accident. Maybe I should be glad he's not in Afghanistan anymore. But I'm not worried about the asshole, I'm pissed. After high school, the both of us got the hell out of Texas. I moved to Seattle to go to college, and my bastard of a brother joined the Army. A year after that, Mama died. I flew back to Texas for the funeral – and though we'd only been dating for a few months, Emmett had insisted on coming too. I had been somewhat surprised to find Jasper there as well. I'd written him a few letters, but he'd never written back. The only contact we had was the check he would send me every month. For all intents and purposes, my mother died when I was eight years old. I knew Jasper felt the same way. But he came, same as I did, to pay his respects. He met Emmett, and we learned Jasper was being shipped overseas the next week.

That was the last time I saw that asshole – and that was five years ago. I gave up writing him letters years ago, but he kept sending me checks. I figured out it was about half his paycheck, and I'm not sorry that I cashed each one. He obviously wanted me to have it. What did he need the money for, anyway? I had school. I had expenses.

I exhaled angrily. He still sent me a check every month. I've received one, without fail, for six years now. How hard would it have been to stick a Post-It note on one of the checks? _PS – Back in US now. Not dead._

He was always doing shit like this. Always distant, always – "Rosie, we're here," Emmett interrupted my thoughts.

I looked up. Emmett and I were sitting in the backseat of the car Carlisle rented. I still had trouble believing Carlisle had flown from Washington to Texas with Emmett and me. Emmett always said his parents thought of me as a daughter but I never really allowed myself to believe him. But sometimes…sometimes I thought maybe he was right.

Or maybe they were just really nice people. It didn't really matter. I was back in Texas for the first time in five years. Back in my home state, the one I had fled from as soon as I was able, to see the asshole brother I hadn't heard from in an equally long period of time, who may or may not be dying somewhere in this gigantic hospital.

The three of us got out of the car. I held Emmett's hand, and we lagged slightly behind Carlisle. He walked with purpose to the front desk and spoke with the nurse. She nodded, looking at me, then disappeared. "She's going to find Jasper's doctor," Carlisle said, coming over to Emmett and me. "He'll be able to explain things to you."

"She wouldn't tell you anything?" Emmett asked.

Carlisle shook his head. "No. But we're not in an intensive care unit, so he'll be all right, Rosalie. And this isn't a military hospital, so he must not be involved with the Army at all anymore."

That's already more that I've known about stupid Jasper in five years. Emmett must have sensed my annoyance, because he started stroking my back. A few minutes later a man in a white coat hurried over. "Hi, I'm Dr. Jenks. You must be Rosalie Whitlock."

"Hale," I corrected him sharply.

I hadn't used the last name Whitlock in almost eight years. "This is my boyfriend Emmett Cullen, and his father Dr. Cullen," I introduced Emmett and Carlisle.

Hands were shaken all around, Carlisle telling Dr. Jenks to "call me Carlisle."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Of course Carlisle would be kind and friendly. "How's my brother?" I asked.

Dr. Jenks looked at both Carlisle and I as he answered. "He was in a car accident very early yesterday morning. He has two broken ribs and a sprained knee. Normally the sprained knee would be a hassle, but not too much trouble. However, since this is the same knee that was completely shattered a year ago, it's going to require intensive therapy. He's going to be in a lot of pain. In addition to that – "

The doctor hesitated. "What?" I snapped.

"There were drugs involved."

I jerked back. Drugs? Jasper had never – "How so?" Carlisle asked calmly.

"He was high at the time of the accident. Vicodin. But – "

"So it's his own fault he crashed, then," I said, annoyed that Jasper could be so stupid.

Once again Dr. Jenks hesitated, and I tried not to reach out and shake the words out of him. "Well," he finally said. "He hasn't said anything in his own defensive, but the injuries he sustained – it's not likely he was driving. But there wasn't anyone else in the car when the ambulance arrived, and he's refused to say anything about it, so – I don't know the circumstances of the crash. But it concerns me that he had so much Vicodin in his system, because it makes me leery of giving him too much pain medication now."

"But he's in a great deal of pain right now?" Carlisle asked.

Dr. Jenks nodded. "He has to be. You can see him, if you'd like," he said, directing the last part of his sentence to me.

I wanted to see him, if only to yell at him for being such an idiotic asshole. "Fine," I said shortly.

Dr. Jenks began walking down the hall. Emmett, Carlisle, and I followed him. When we got to his room, Dr, Jenks came to a halt. "Wait," I said before the doctor could open the door.

I turned to Emmett and Carlisle. "I want you to wait out here."

"Of course," Carlisle agreed immediately.

"You sure?" Emmett asked, facing me and running his hands down my arms.

I nodded, and he gave me an encouraging smile. Dr. Jenks opened the door, then stepped back to allow me to walk inside. I moved in, then stopped. I hadn't seen Jasper for five years, but still. His physical appearance had changed dramatically.

He was asleep, so I had no compunction about staring at him. The last time I had seen him he had just finished up with training and was about to go overseas. He had looked like a soldier. He didn't look like that anymore. His blond hair was no longer in the military buzz cut and was now shaggy. Though his lower half was covered by a bed sheet, I could see he was lean. It had annoyed me, growing up. He was always tall and thin. I was rather tall – for a woman – but I have never been lean.

His skin was pale. The doctor hadn't mentioned one of Jasper's fingers was broken, but his left pinky was taped. Peeking out under the sleeve of his hospital gown, I could see the skin around his left elbow was scarred. It looked like a burn that hadn't healed well. There was a scar on the left side of his face, too. It began in his hairline and ended at his left eye. I suppressed a shudder. My brother's beautiful face was scarred and not only that – even though he was sleeping, he looked _dangerous_. Jasper had never been sunshine and light, but I had never seen him look truly dangerous before. "What happened to you?" I murmured.

He didn't stir. I couldn't bear to look at him for another moment, so I hurried back to the hallway where Emmett and Carlisle were waiting for me.

* * *

**Jasper POV**

I opened my eyes as soon as Rosalie left the room. God_damn_ it, I forgot she was listed as my emergency contact. By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late. I didn't want to mess up Rose's life, too. I hadn't seen her since Mama's funeral, but she had seemed so much happier then. She had started over again in Seattle, and things seemed to be going well. So I sent her money to help her out, and stayed out of her way.

I didn't want Rosalie to know about all my shit. I wonder if I'll be able to pretend I'm asleep every time she tries visiting. If I know my sister – and I do – that'll annoy her and after a few times she'll go back to where she came from. It's not that I don't like my sister. For most of our lives, we only had each other. But I don't need to drag her down into the shithole in which I live.

But _fuck_, I can't think about Rosalie now. My knee is killing me. Of course I sprained the same one I busted up in Afghanistan. And the fucking doctors weren't giving me enough Vicodin to stop the pain. I know they're suspicious of me. The main guy – Jenks – he keeps asking me who was driving the car. He says I was too stoned to drive. That's probably true. I don't really remember. I went to Maria's, and she made me go with her to bully this guy into paying some money he owed her. Then we took the money and got some pills. I popped a few, and then Maria and I went back to her place. I vaguely remember drinking and having sex with her, but no matter how hard I try I don't remember getting into a car.

I must have, though, because the next thing I knew I was lying in a hospital bed and they were telling me I had been in a car crash. They hadn't found anyone else at the site. It didn't surprise me that Maria took off. We've been sleeping together off and on for about six months now, but I don't think she cares about me any more than I care about her.

My ribs were aching, but I've had both cracked and broken ribs before. I could deal with that pain. But my knee. Fuck, my knee! It hurts. It's not a dull ache or pinpricks of hurt, it's a throbbing, burning pain that I swear is resonating throughout my body.

I need my pills.

* * *

**Carlisle POV**

I drove to the hospital very early in the morning. I wanted to see if I could find out anything else about Jasper. Rosalie never talked about her twin. The only reason I knew anything about him was thanks to Emmett. However, I do know that Rosalie has not had an easy life. I don't think Jasper has had an easy time of it either, but Rosalie is a part of my family. When I think back to the first time Emmett brought her home, I can see how far she has come. I hope Jasper's problems will not negatively affect her. But perhaps having her here will help him. I'm sure that if he had a solid support system, he could take the steps necessary to – "Dr. Cullen?" the nurse at the front desk of the hospital interrupted my thoughts.

I was somewhat surprised she remembered my name, but I smiled at her. "Yes."

I quickly glanced at her nametag. "Heather. Nice to see you again."

She beamed at me. "What can I do for you?"

"I was hoping to talk to someone about Jasper Ha – I mean, Jasper Whitlock."

Why did Rosalie and Jasper have different last names? I'll have to remember to ask Emmett about that. "Well, Dr. Jenks isn't in yet," Heather told me. "He's not due in for another hour."

This gave me pause. I had wanted to talk to Dr. Jenks without Rosalie or Emmett around; I was hoping that maybe he would be more open with me, doctor-to-doctor. "Perhaps you could assist me," I said, thinking out loud. "Is there a nurse I could talk to about Jasper?"

Heather typed something into her computer. "Ah, yes," she said after a moment. "That would be Patricia. I'll call her over for you."

"Thank you so much."

A few minutes later a middle-aged woman came over to me. "Pat? This is Dr. Cullen. He wants to talk to you about Jasper Whitlock."

A look that was equal parts annoyance and pity crossed over her face. It was always the difficult patients that were in a great deal of pain who gave nurses that expression. In that moment, I knew I would do whatever was necessary to help Jasper. "Come with me to the break room," Patricia said. "We can talk there."

I followed her to a small room. Before she could say anything, I spoke. "I want to make sure you are aware that I'm not a doctor in this hospital. I'm a surgeon in Seattle. Jasper's sister is dating my son, so I flew out with her to ascertain Jasper's condition. I spoke with Dr. Jenks yesterday, but I was hoping to glean some additional information. What can you tell me about Jasper?"

Patricia sat down, and I followed suit. "He's in a lot of pain. And not just physically. He has nightmares where he wakes up screaming."

"He used to be military," I remarked.

Patricia nodded. "I know that because of his records. A year ago he – well, he was too close to a bomb when it went off. His injuries were extensive. He came back to Texas, and, best I can tell, as soon as he was done with physical therapy to rehabilitate his arm and knee, he must have quit. Or been discharged? Sorry, I don't know the military terminology."

"I'm not too clear on it either," I assured her.

"Well, anyway," she continued. "He was done with physical therapy about six months ago. Then there's nothing in his medical records to indicate he had any problems until the car accident."

"Was he still in pain from the explosion? Maybe that's why he had Vicodin in his system when the car crashed," I suggested.

I knew I was reaching, and Patricia shook her head. "He had way too much in his system. Definitely not using the pills responsibly. But – " she broke off, hesitating.

"What?" I prompted.

"I've dealt with veterans before. It's not uncommon for them to self-medicate if they're having trouble sleeping, or if they don't want to remember – things."

_Ah_. This could very well be true. "Do you think I could visit him?"

Patricia looked unsure. "Well – "

"I could get permission from his sister Rosalie, but I would appreciate a chance to speak with him alone. Rosalie is like a daughter to me, and I don't want to upset her."

"All right," Patricia agreed. "I can take you there."

"I remember where his room is."

But Patricia just gave me a look. "I'll bring you. We can't have just anyone wandering around," she finished with a smile.

She led me to Jasper's room. Knocking on the door slightly, she came in. "Hi Jasper," she said.

He didn't say anything. I moved out from behind Patricia to get a better look at him, and his gaze zeroed in on me. "Who's this?" he asked.

"I'm Dr. Cullen," I introduced myself.

I moved over to his bed and held out my hand. He reluctantly shook it. He had a firm grip and a hard, callused hand. He was sitting up in bed, and most of his body was covered. I could see a long scar down the left side of his face, and I wondered how long he'd had it. "I can handle it from here, Patricia," I said to the nurse. "Thank you."

"All right. You press that button if you need me," she told Jasper, then left.

I turned back to Jasper. He was still staring at me, assessing me. I knew he had to be curious as to who I was, but there was no questioning expression on his face and he hadn't spoken a word to me. "You can call me Carlisle," I said. "I'm a doctor, but not here at this hospital. I live in Seattle."

Something flickered on his face, and I kept talking. "I flew out yesterday with your sister. Rosalie is dating my son Emmett. When she got the call about you, the three of us flew out."

Jasper spoke to me for the first time. "That was unnecessary."

"We didn't want Rosalie to come alone," I said.

I wanted him to know that Rosalie had people around her, people who loved her. People who wanted what was best for her. "I meant Rose didn't have to come," Jasper clarified.

Interesting. He didn't want to see his sister. And yet he called her by a nickname. "I think she was hurt you didn't let her know you were back in the States," I said softly.

Jasper's face remained an emotionless mask as he looked at me, and he didn't say anything. Talking to this kid – no, even though he was the same age as my children, I couldn't think of this hardened man as a child – was like pulling teeth. "Your doctor told her about your Vicodin problem."

"I don't have a problem," Jasper said quickly.

"You were driving a car while high."

I waited a beat, giving him time to defend himself and say he wasn't the one driving, but he didn't. "Well," I said, moving away from the bed. "I just wanted to introduce myself. Rosalie will be in later today. She's a part of our family, Jasper, even if she and Emmett haven't made it official yet. That means I care about your well-being too. And I wanted you to know that you can talk to me. You can let me, or Rosalie, or even Emmett, help you. We want to help you."

Jasper, of course, didn't respond. I gave him a nod, then left.

* * *

**Alice POV**

"Have you heard from Dad yet?" I asked my mother as she wiped the counter.

Mom, Edward, and I were in the kitchen. "No, but he should be calling soon," Mom answered.

"I can't believe he flew out to Texas," Edward said for the tenth time that day.

I bit back a sigh. My brother and Rosalie had never gotten along, and Edward always had a hard time understanding why the rest of us liked her. "Edward," Mom admonished. "Your father wants to help Rosalie any way he can. We all do."

She gave him a look daring him to disagree with her, and I brought my hand to my mouth to cover my smile as Edward remained silent. Then the phone rang, and I jumped up to get it. "Chill out," Edward muttered as I grabbed the phone.

I ignored him. "Hello?" I said.

"_Hi Alice_."

"Dad!" I exclaimed. "Have you seen Jasper? How is he? He's okay, right? How's Rosalie doing? What – "

"_Slow down, Alice_," he interrupted me. "_Jasper should be fine. Rosalie's in with him now. Let me talk to your mother_."

Pouting slightly, I handed Mom the phone. "Why do you care about Rosalie's brother so much?" Edward wanted to know.

I frowned at him. "Because even though she would never admit it, I know she's been missing him all this time. Because if I hadn't seen or talked to you or Emmett for five years and then found out you were in the hospital, I would be upset. Because – "

"All right, all right," Edward cut in.

He stood and left the room, and I turned my attention to my mother. "Let me talk to Emmett," I said.

She held up a finger telling me to wait, and I sat down impatiently. "Alice wants to talk to Emmett," she finally said to my father.

There was a pause, then she said, "Okay. I will. You too. I love you."

She handed me the phone. "Emmett?" I asked.

"_Yeah. What's going on_?"

"Nothing. How's Jasper? How's Rosalie?"

"_I haven't seen him._ _It's not going that well. Rose is in with him now, but this is the first time she's got to talk to him. His knee is really messed up. And the doctors think he's addicted to pain meds, and Dad hasn't said so but I think he agrees._"

"That sounds awful."

"_Yeah. I don't know, we'll probably know more when Rose is done talking to him_."

"How is she? I mean, being back in Texas and everything."

Emmett sounded tired when he replied, "_I don't know. I think she's been distracted thinking about Jasper, at least_."

"Emmett…how long are you going to stay in Texas? Are you all really going to leave Jasper alone and fly back here?"

I wasn't sure why that idea bothered me so much. Probably because I never liked to see anyone hurting, and being alone in a hospital is terrible. "_I really don't know. I'll stay as long as Rose wants to_."

"Yeah. Okay I'll let you go, I was just curious how everyone was holding up. I hope everything works out all right. Tell Rose I'm thinking about her."

"_All right. Later_."

"'Bye."

Sometime while I had been talking to Emmett, Mom had left. I was alone in the kitchen when I hung up the phone. I thought back to Edward's earlier question. Why _did_ I care about Jasper so much? I had never even met him. Maybe because I remembered the aching loneliness of being alone in a hospital, thinking that no one cared whether you lived or died.

I thought back to a picture Rosalie had shown me once. It was of her and Jasper. They had both been fifteen. Jasper was tall, blond, and pretty like his sister. But unlike Rosalie, who had been staring into the camera defiantly, his eyes had held a hint of sadness.

I wonder what he looks like now. Somehow, I was sure the sadness hadn't disappeared.


	3. Waking Nightmares

_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own _Twilight_.

_**Author's Note:**_ Thanks to everyone who left me a review :)

* * *

**Jasper POV**

I'm at a fucking hospital. Isn't it their job to make sure I'm not in pain? That blond nurse with the fake smile and pitying expression is like a modern day Nurse Ratched with the way she's doling out my pills. She barely gives me enough to take the edge off. And she came in twenty minutes ago with two sleeping pills. _Sleeping pills_. Apparently nurses now believe you can just sleep through your pain.

I snuck a glance to my right. I hadn't taken the pills, but she had left them on my bedside table. I don't like sleeping pills because they make me groggy. Vicodin leaves my mind hazed. There is a difference. But I need something. I can't just sit here, clear-headed with an aching body. It hurts. And it lets my mind wander to things like my sister's visit yesterday.

Rosalie came in a few hours after Carlisle had. Per my plan, I pretended to be asleep. Unfortunately, I had forgotten about my sister's bullshit meter. After a moment she walked over to my bed and said that if I didn't quit faking it, she was going to punch me in the stomach. Rosalie wasn't one for making empty threats, so I opened my eyes. I knew she would have done it, and my ribs are fucking broken. It would have hurt.

She had yelled at me for about fifteen minutes, and when I remained silent she finally threw up her hands in frustration and left. I was sure I wouldn't be seeing her again. And that was good. I looked at the sleeping pills again, sitting in their little plastic cup. Some pills are better than none, right? And my knee really is bothering me. Maybe – for once in my life – I can escape into a peaceful oblivion through sleep.

I downed the pills, then laid back. I closed my eyes and waited for them to take effect. As I did, I thought about my twin again. It had been kinda nice to see her.

"_Major, there's two tangos inside. If we go through the east entrance we'll be able to take them out," John whispered._

_I nodded, holding up my hand to signal the others. On my count we rushed the door, kicking it open and firing. The two men inside slumped to the floor, dead. I turned one over and John did the same to the other. It was then I noticed that the dead man I was looking at had a particularly lumpy chest. I ripped open his shirt and a bomb was revealed, strapped to his chest. "Fuck! Jones, get over here," I barked to our team's bomb expert._

_Jones bent over the bomb, studying it, then looked up at me with worry in his eyes. "I don't think I can safely defuse it, sir."_

"_Well fuck, Jones, what the hell are you here for if you can't defuse a fucking bomb?" I snapped._

_He bent over it again, and John shoved his shoulder. "If you can't do it, don't mess with it. I don't want to be blown to kingdom come."_

"_None of us do. Jones, you stay here with the bodies. Don't touch anything. John, check for ammo in the back. Morris, get to work on their computer. I'm going to see if I can find a way into the cellar, and I'll keep an eye on the perimeter. Take anything useful you can find."_

"_Yessir," they said, and got to work._

_I went outside, and a few feet to the left of the house I found a small X on the ground. I started digging. Suddenly Jones ran out of the house. His body was on fire, and he wore a panicked expression. "The bomb! It's a bomb!"_

"_I know that. Calm down. Why are you – "_

_I stopped talking as Jones' face turned into Rosalie's. "It's your fault!" she screamed as her body burned. "Why did you come back?"_

I was moaning as I woke up. It wasn't true. That wasn't what happened. The bomb went off with everyone inside the house. Rosalie wasn't there. It's not true, that's not what happened.

With my mind screaming and my body alive with pain, I reached up and slammed the Call button. Luckily for me, it wasn't Nurse Ratched who came in. It was a nurse I had never seen before. I must have been out long enough for the shifts to change. "Are you all right?" she asked, surprise and worry in her voice as she got a good look at me.

"No, I'm not," I snarled. "The pain – it's too much. I need Vicodin."

She flipped open my chart and pursed her lips. "I'm not sure if that's – "

"Look at me," I commanded.

She did, albeit reluctantly. "Do you think I'm faking this? I. Need. Vicodin."

I saw the moment she weakened, and if I wasn't in so much pain – mentally and physically – I would have cheered. "Just this once. I'll have to talk to your doctor about the proper schedule for your medication, and…"

She kept talking, but I was focused on the pills in her hand. She handed them to me and I swallowed them eagerly. The pills would help me. The pain in my knee faded, and my mind became less clear.

I hate that I need them. But the pills help me.

* * *

**Rosalie POV**

"I don't know what to do," I said to Emmett in our hotel room. "We've been here two days already."

"At least he was awake yesterday," Emmett tried to soothe me.

"Yeah," I muttered under my breath.

I put my head on Emmett's shoulder. "I don't know what to do," I repeated, allowing myself to feel helpless for a moment.

Emmett wrapped his arms around me, and I let myself take comfort from his embrace. I don't know what's wrong with Jasper, and I don't know how to help him. He's made it pretty clear he doesn't want my help. Then again, I've never concerned myself with doing what Jasper wanted. "I don't know either, Rosie. Do you want – we could ask Dad if he has any ideas."

Emmett sounded hesitant, as if he were afraid I wouldn't like the idea. But maybe he was right. Carlisle had a way of getting people to do what he wanted. Nicely, of course, and with the utmost courtesy. But still. "Let's find him," I said, and Emmett and I went to Carisle's room.

Emmett knocked on the door, and when Carlisle opened it he didn't seem surprised to see us standing there. "Hi," he said in greeting, taking a step back so we could enter.

I wasn't sure how to ask Carlisle to help. Emmett laced his fingers through mine and squeezed my hand. Giving him a small smile, I looked at Carlisle squarely in the eyes. "I want to know what I can do to help Jasper. Do you have any ideas?"

I exhaled loudly after I asked, feeling almost nervous, and Carlisle stroked his chin. "I'm very concerned about him," Carlisle said seriously. "I think he has a problem with Vicodin."

"What, an addiction?" Emmett asked.

I still had trouble believing that. Jasper knew better. He didn't depend on anyone, or anything. "Just because he was high when he had the accident, doesn't mean that – "

It surprised me when Carlisle interrupted. He was usually too polite for that. "It's not just that. He's asked every nurse and doctor he's had since his admittance for Vicodin. He's bargained and threatened, talked about how much pain he's in. That's what an addict does. They'll say or do anything to get their next fix."

"But he is in pain," I insisted. "Dr. Jenks said so."

Carlisle nodded gravely. "That's going to be part of the problem. To really help him, Rosalie, we have to get him off Vicodin. This will be difficult because he really is in physical pain and does need pain medication. We could try giving him controlled dosages, but the best way is to cut him off completely. No pills."

I didn't have anything to say to that. One thing I do know about addicts is that you can't help them unless they want to be helped. "What if he doesn't want my help?" I asked. "I can't believe he would take so many pills, even if he was in pain. I don't know him anymore."

"He's still your brother, Rosalie," Carlisle said gently. "A lot of veterans struggle with problems like this once they return to normal life. Sometimes it's the readjustment; other times they can't deal with the things they've done and the memories they have."

I sighed. That's all well and good, but what am I supposed to do about it? My blockhead of a brother always thinks he can handle everything on his own. I've always thought he was wrong about that. "Dad, what do you think we should do? We can't stay in Texas," Emmett piped up.

Carlisle hesitated, looking from Emmett to me, then said, "Actually, I had an idea about that."

"What?" I demanded.

"I think we should try and talk Jasper into getting help."

Really, Carlisle. Even Emmett could have thought of that idea. But all I said was, "Oh?"

Carlisle smiled at me like he knew what I was thinking. "In Seattle," he added.

"What?" Emmett and I asked at once.

"At Horizon Health and Wellness Center."

I crinkled my brow. "The place Alice volunteers at?"

"I volunteer there too," Carlisle informed me. "We deal with addicts and people with nonviolent disorders."

"Isn't Horizon a loony bin?" Emmett asked.

Carlisle sent Emmett a reproving look. "No. But yes, a lot of the addicts there have mental problems, as well. Post-traumatic stress disorder, for example."

"Do you think Jasper has that?" I wondered.

"I haven't spent enough time with him to know," Carlisle replied. "But I could be involved with his recovery at Horizon. It would take him away from his drug suppliers here in Texas. And, Rosalie, you and the rest of us could be there for him."

I felt a cautious hope at Carlisle's words. If we could get Jasper to Horizon, I was sure Carlisle and the other doctors could help him. And I could visit him. I would know where he was for the first time in years, and I could actually see him and speak to him.

But getting Jasper to agree to that seems impossible. "It sounds like a good idea, but I don't see how it would work," I remarked.

"You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped," Carlisle agreed. "But if we put enough pressure on him – if _you_ put enough pressure on him, Rosalie – we might be able to talk him into it. I think he wants help, but he doesn't want to ask for it. And he definitely doesn't want to disrupt your life, Rosalie. You'll have to convince him that he's not."

I wondered how Carlisle seemed so sure of that. "Come on, Rosie, let's go talk to him," Emmett said.

I glanced from Carlisle to Emmett. Emmett always wanted to tackle things head-on. "Okay, we'll go to the hospital now. But I'm going in to talk to him alone."

Emmett looked apprehensive. "Of course," Carlisle agreed.

How the hell would I talk Jasper into this idea?

* * *

**Jasper POV**

I couldn't believe it when Rosalie showed up again. I was sure I had pissed her off enough that she wouldn't come back. I was both startled and suspicious when she smiled at me. Rosalie was never nice without a reason – and the reason was usually that she wanted something. "I shouldn't have yelled at you so much yesterday," she began.

Oh yeah. She definitely wants something. "I was just taken by surprise. I had no idea – well, never mind," she said, perching herself on the edge of my bed.

I watched her warily as she blinked at me and smiled. "What have you been doing in Texas?"

At least she didn't ask me about what happened overseas. "I'm a mechanic," I answered shortly.

I could see that distracted Rosalie from whatever her plan was. Rosalie and I had both always loved cars. She was almost as good as I was at fixing them. "Really? Where?"

"Old Waylon's place."

"Old Waylon's still alive?" Rosalie asked, and I couldn't help one side of my mouth from edging up.

We'd called him 'Old Waylon' since we were kids. He had only been in his forties then. Waylon had known me all my life. That was probably the reason he kept me on even though I was a shitty employee. I did the work when I actually showed up, but I didn't exactly keep nine to five hours.

That reminded me that I hadn't had any pills for awhile. The last nurse that had given me some must have gotten in trouble for it. She avoided looking directly at me now, and no one else had given me any pain medication recently. I tried not to think about it as I answered Rosalie. "Yeah, he's still alive."

Rosalie's eyes clouded over as she said, "I guess things haven't changed much around here."

I didn't reply. Shaking her head as if to clear it, she leaned in. "Carlisle said you won't tell who was in the car with you."

This was an interesting subject change. What the hell did Rosalie want? Though it hurt to do so, I shrugged. Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Come on, Jasper. You can tell me. I'm the last person who would go to the cops."

Well, that's certainly true. Rosalie would shave her head before she would voluntarily talk to a police officer. Not that I could blame her. "Is it someone I know?" Rosalie persisted.

Maybe if I gave her something, she would go away and leave me alone. "Maria," I finally said.

Rosalie's eyes widened and she leaned back. "Maria? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Language, Rose," I said, just to be an ass.

I almost felt like laughing when I saw her eyes light with anger. No one could ever accuse Rosalie of being boring. She was doing a pretty good job of distracting me from thinking about Vicodin, actually. I was always thinking about it, but it wasn't at the forefront of my mind right now. "Shut the fuck up," she snapped. "Maria? That slut has always been trouble. What were you thinking?"

She held up a hand. "Don't answer that. I know you weren't thinking with your big head. Is she the one getting you the pills? That bitch used to deal in school, you know. That's it. You can't stay here."

My amusement faded as she continued to speak. "You have to come back to Seattle with us. Away from Maria and all this. Carlisle can get you into a program."

And here's the reason she came to see me. I can't give up the pills. It wish I could, but – and why would she want me to come to Seattle? She finally has a life. A happy one, it seems like. Wouldn't my being there remind her of the past? "Are you insane?" I asked her.

"You're fucked up, Jasper. Carlisle works at this place – Horizon. He thinks – I think – it can help you with your pill…problem."

"I don't have a problem."

Rosalie smiled cruelly. "Really? How long has it been since your last fix, Jasper? I bet you know. Down to the minute."

She leaned in and lowered her voice. "And you know what? They're not going to give you any more. Carlisle told me. He talked to Dr. Jenks. No one in this hospital is going to give you any."

I felt a frisson of fear at her words. I'm trapped in this fucking hospital. I need Vicodin. But I just raised an eyebrow at my sister. "I've always found a way," I said lazily.

Rosalie looked down, then back up at me. Her eyes were now glittering with tears. "Jasper, please. I'm worried about you. I've missed you. I want you to come live in Seattle."

I almost believed her. It was a good effort. But I know my sister. "Some things never change, huh Rose?" I said. "You can stop pretending to cry."

She got to her feet and stomped her foot angrily, the tears disappearing. "Why do you have to be such a selfish ass? Can't you ever do what I want?"

I was irritated. I wasn't being _selfish_. "Sorry I don't want to uproot my life," I said sarcastically. "I – "

"What life?" Rosalie interrupted, her voice rising. "Hanging around that destructive whore? Getting stoned so you don't have to remember the things you've done?"

That barb hit a little too close for comfort. "Shut up," I warned, but Rosalie was too busy ranting to pay attention.

"You don't care about me. You never did. You just go around, doing whatever you want, and leaving me to – "

"Shut up!" I yelled. "You don't know anything about – "

"And whose fault is that?" she screamed at me, her face turning red with anger. "Why can't you do what I want for once in your damn life!"

The door burst open, and I recognized the two people who rushed in: Emmett and Carlisle. I braced myself. Carlisle is harmless, but Emmett's six five and two hundred pounds of what looks like solid muscle. I kept my eyes on Emmett as he went over to Rosalie and put an arm around her. "What's going on?" he demanded.

"We could hear yelling in the hallway," Carlisle explained.

I took my eyes off Emmett for a moment to spare Carlisle a glance. Was he always so calm? When he noticed me looking at him he smiled kindly at me. _Smiled_. Unsettled, I looked away. "It's not my fault he's being an asshole," Rosalie was saying to Emmett.

Emmett made eye contact with me. I could see the love and worry he felt for my sister, his irritation with me, and his frustration at not knowing what to do. I've only met Emmett once before, years ago at my mother's funeral, but I remembered liking him. He'd been easy-going, and willing to put up with my sister's moods. And he didn't hide anything. His emotions were right there on his face, for anyone to see. I liked that.

Rosalie was still glaring at me. I scowled back at her. "This isn't over," she warned me, then took Emmett's hand and flounced out of the room.

I felt uneasy. Carlisle was still here. Whenever I look into his face I see kindness, and a gentle understanding. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't know how to deal with nice people. "I talked to Dr. Jenks earlier," he remarked.

What does he want, a medal? I remained silent. "He said one of his nurses got into trouble for giving you Vicodin."

It's not my fault if the woman is easily persuaded. "He also said that your behavior has made him think you have an addiction, and so they're not going to give you any more."

Fuck. There has to be a way to get around this. "I was in a car accident," I pointed out. "My knee hurts pretty bad."

Carlisle didn't seem fooled by my reasonable tone. "I just wanted to let you know how it stands," he said pleasantly. "That way, you can decide what to do."

Maybe he's on Valium. That would explain a lot. "Decide – what?" I asked, curious.

What is he talking about? "What you want to do with your life," Carlisle answered. "You're not going to get any pills while you're here in the hospital. And you're going to be here for awhile longer. You can get out and go back to living in a stoned haze. Life will continue to pass you by. Until the next accident, or an overdose, or any of the physical problems that manifest in longtime drug users."

I didn't say anything. He was making me sound pathetic. And what does he know? I've seen and done things the nice doctor can't even imagine. But Carlisle leaned in, forcing me to look at him. His blue-gray eyes burned into mine with compassion.

"I know you probably think I don't understand. And of course, I didn't go through what you've gone through. I doubt very many people have. But Jasper, the fact that you've gone through things most people can't even imagine and you're _still here_ – that tells me you're a fighter. You're strong. You can use the drugs to float along, not really existing. Or you can let me help you. Let Rosalie help you. Let people who want nothing more than for you to take control of your life back, help you. You'll never forget whatever it is you're trying to forget, Jasper. But you can try and be strong enough to move past it. All I'm asking, all anyone can do, is try. Move to Seattle. Make a fresh start. As long as you try, you can't fail. I believe that."

Carlisle's words struck a chord deep within me. Maybe he was right. Even with the drugs, I could never really forget. And I hated being dependent. As Carlisle continued to look at me, I realized I wanted someone like him to respect me. Everything about him screamed that he was a good person. And I could tell by his face that he wasn't a liar. He really did believe what he was saying. He believed I could do it.

I certainly wasn't attached to anyone or anything in Texas. Before I could think about it too much, I agreed. "Okay."

Carlisle looked relieved, but he didn't smile. "I can make all the arrangements. I know of a place with a good program in Seattle."

"All right."

Carlisle briefly rested his hand on my shoulder. "I'm proud of you."

With that he left, leaving me reeling. If Carlisle ever decided to stay here in the South, he'd make a hell of an Evangelical preacher.

* * *

**Alice POV**

The phone rang as Mom and I were finishing up with dinner. "Go ahead, I'll clear," I said.

She got up to answer the phone. "Hi honey," she said, and I knew it was Dad calling.

Dad, Em, and Rose have been in Texas for three days now. I had come over to the house to have dinner with Mom tonight so she wouldn't be alone. Edward still lived at home, of course, but tonight was his and Bella's anniversary and so they had gone out. I wonder when Dad's coming home. He took a few days off work but I'm pretty sure they expect him back soon. Since Emmett and Rosalie are both teachers, they're on summer break and it doesn't matter how long they're out of town.

I finished clearing the table, then grabbed my cell phone to call Rosalie and find out what was going on with her brother. "Hey Rose," I greeted when she picked up.

"_Hey Alice. Calling to check up on me_?"

I laughed. "Calling for the gossip, you mean. How's it going with your brother?"

Rosalie sighed. "_I decided to try and talk him into moving to Seattle. Carlisle said he could find him a place at Horizon_."

For some reason I felt my stomach jump. "Horizon's great. I volunteer there at least once a week."

"_Yeah, I know. My stupid brother didn't like the idea, and we got into a fight_."

I heard Emmett's voice in the background. "_We could hear them screaming down the hallway_!"

"_Shut up, Emmett_," Rosalie said, but there wasn't any heat behind her words.

"Sorry, Rose. Is his drug problem really that bad?"

"_I don't know. Maybe. After I fought with him I left, but your dad stayed and talked him into getting into a program at Horizon_."

"Oh," I said in surprise.

"_Yeah, I don't know how he did it either_."

"People always listen to Dad," I remarked. "I'm glad, though. I'm sure it will be good for Jasper to be here, with you. And I'll get to meet him."

"_Lucky you. You think I'm mean, wait until you meet Jasper_."

"I don't think you're mean," I protested.

Rosalie chuckled. "_Yes I am_."

Unlike Edward and Bella, I really didn't think Rosalie was mean. She was slow to trust, but when I learned her history that wasn't surprising. Rose and I had bonded a few months after she and Emmett started dating. Now, almost six years later, we were still friends. Once Emmett proposed to her – he hadn't made any noises about it, but I knew he would someday – we would be more than friends. We'd be sisters-in-law.

I changed the subject. "When are you bringing Jasper home?"

"_I'm not totally sure. Your dad thinks we should stay here while Jasper's detoxing_."

Even though Rosalie couldn't see me, I nodded. "I've heard it's really terrible."

"_It's his own fault. So maybe in a couple of days_?"

There was a pause, and then Rosalie said, "_Carlisle hasn't said anything, but doesn't he have to get back to work? He said he'd stay and help with Jasper's detox but_ – "

"Rose, come on," I cut in.

She always had such a hard time accepting help from anyone. "I'm sure Dad already considers Jasper a patient. And he would never leave when a patient needed him."

"_That's true_," Rosalie said slowly.

Her voice changed. "_I hope it's soon. I miss my own bed and shower. And I didn't pack enough clothes, so I either have to find a Laundromat or pay the hotel to clean them_."

Rosalie sounded disgusted by this idea, and I couldn't blame her. We talked a little more before I ended the call.

A little while later, I was on my way back to my apartment. Bella and I have been roommates since college. In our last year of school, we got our own apartment. We've lived there for two years now and, though Edward technically lives at home because he's in med school and doesn't want to waste money paying rent, he's often at our apartment as well.

But tonight, I knew I would have the apartment to myself for awhile. It was only eight at night and of course Edward had planned out his and Bella's entire evening so that their anniversary would be romantic and special. It always made me laugh because that type of thing still made Bella feel awkward. She and Edward have been dating since we were all in high school, and you would think she'd be used to it by now.

I forgot about Bella and Edward when I walked into my apartment. I changed and climbed into bed, settling my computer on my lap. When I graduated from college last year I started working as a party planner. It gave someone like me great joy to help other people create beautiful memories.

I opened up a spreadsheet. I wanted to go over the wedding preparations for a new client one last time before the presentation tomorrow. I yawned. Maybe working in bed wasn't the best idea. I felt a little drowsy.

_It was dark. It was always dark. Sometimes I didn't know if my eyes were open or closed. My whole body hurt. Why did I always have to be locked away? I heard a noise in the hallway and whimpered, curling my tiny body into itself. Then I heard a man's voice, nasal-sounding, as the door opened. "Hello little girl."_

I woke with a start, and barely managed to keep my laptop from falling off the bed. I wrapped my arms around myself for a moment. I never remembered my dreams once I woke, but sometimes the emotions it evoked stayed with me. This one had left me feeling slightly afraid and nervous.

I shook my head, stretching, and pulled my computer into my lap again. I had forgotten dreams like this all the time, and I never wasted my time trying to figure them out. The feelings would go away in a little while. I focused on my computer screen. I had work to do.


	4. There's a Meeting on the Horizon

_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own _Twilight_.

_**A/N:**_ Sorry this took so long. I don't want to be one of _those_ authors.

* * *

**Jasper POV**

I don't know what I was thinking. How did Carlisle get me to agree to this? He tricked me, somehow, with his calm aura and gentle eyes, into thinking he's harmless. Obviously he's not. I don't really care about leaving Texas; Rosalie was right when she said I had nothing going for me here. But no pills. What am I supposed to do?

It's not that I'm addicted to them. I just _want_ them. I _need_ them when the memories of the things I've done get too painful. I know that Carlisle was right when he said I need to move forward and put my life together. But I'm not sure I deserve it. Maybe I should stop using pills to forget the things I've done. Maybe my penance is that I'll always remember.

My thoughts were interrupted when the door opened and my sister walked in. I could tell by the set of her shoulders that she was still mad at me. That didn't surprise me. No one holds a grudge like Rosalie. "Carlisle and Dr. Jenks are working out the plans for your detox," Rosalie said without preamble. "Hopefully in a day or two, you'll be okay enough for us to fly to Washington."

I kept my tone as impersonal as my sister's when I replied, "I'll be fine."

"Sure," Rosalie scoffed.

I bit back my irritation. I _would_ be fine. She would see. "Carlisle talked to the board at Horizon today. There will be a spot for you when you get there. It's a medical facility, too, so they can deal with your knee. Physical therapy, or whatever."

I remembered the painful six months of physical therapy I had gone through the first time I messed up my knee, and I tried not to grimace. "I'll be fine," I repeated.

Giving me a doubtful look, Rosalie spun on her heel and strode out.

* * *

**Emmett POV**

I feel bad for Jasper. I know Rosie does, too, even if she won't admit it, but I also know enough to keep my mouth shut about it. Rosalie's position is that Jasper brought all this pain onto himself. Yeah, I guess. It's not like anyone forced him to take Vicodin all the time. Sometimes Rose blames Maria, but usually she just blames her brother. I know she's worried about him, though, and she's just covering that concern with anger.

It's been almost two days now. I haven't seen Jasper yet but I've heard detox is a horrible, painful experience for an addict. Dad's been in there with him a lot, and Rosalie went in once before Dad banned her. Apparently Jasper was in really bad shape, and him and Rose got into another screaming match. Dad told me Jasper's always very stoic – except when Rosalie's around. That doesn't surprise me. My Rose knows how to push people's buttons. And I know that despite all her ranting and complaining, she's worried about Jasper and glad he's coming back to Seattle with us.

I checked my watch. Rosalie is out shopping, and she made it clear she didn't want me to go with her. This was fine with me. Rose can shop almost as long as Alice can. But I'm bored. Thankfully the hotel has a fitness center, so I already worked out. Maybe Dad was back for the night. I wandered over to his room and knocked on the door. "Hi son," he greeted me when he opened the door.

"Hey," I said, and walked in.

"No Rosalie?"

"Nah, she's out shopping."

Dad smiled at that. "You didn't want to go with her?"

I grinned. "Do you like going shopping with Mom? Or Alice?"

Dad chuckled, taking a seat. "I know better than to answer that."

I sat down across for him and gestured towards the papers lying across the table. "Work?"

"Just getting everything ready for Jasper's admittance to Horizon."

"Is he calmer now?"

"Yes, I think the worst has passed," Dad replied. "I was hoping to talk to Rosalie about leaving tomorrow. Later in the day, of course, but I think now that the detox is over it's best if we leave so Jasper can make a fresh start."

"Rose will be glad to leave," I remarked.

Rosalie hated being back in Texas because it reminded her of her past. "Good," Dad said. "I'll make the arrangements."

* * *

**Esme POV**

I smoothed out the bedspread I had picked out for Jasper's bed, then stepped back and eyed the room critically. Once Carlisle called and told me Jasper was coming to Seattle and entering Horizon, Alice and I had taken it upon ourselves to get a room set up for him. Since Alice volunteered there, and I was married to one Dr. Cullen, the Horizon staff had let us come in and do what we wanted.

I wanted the room to look homey, but not girly. I knew Jasper had been in the military, and Emmett had called him a "hard-ass". I assumed that meant I should not put any kind of flowers in the room. "What do you think?" I asked Alice when she came back in.

Alice smiled excitedly. "I think it looks great."

I eyed my youngest child. It hadn't surprised me that Alice had helped get Jasper's room ready, or that she wanted to meet him. He was Rosalie's brother, after all, and Rosalie and Alice were good friends. But it did surprise me that she was _so_ excited.

Alice and I moved around the room and fussed with a few things. As we did so, I wondered what Jasper would be like. I knew he was in pretty bad shape, both physically and emotionally. Carlisle thought it stemmed from his time as a soldier, but I wondered if it went further back than that. Rosalie's and Jasper's childhoods certainly hadn't been idyllic. Their father died when they were very young and their mother – well. I pursed my lips in disapproval at the thought of that woman.

I remember when we first met Rosalie. I knew Emmett was in love with her – finally, he was serious about someone – and it had shocked me that it had been someone like Rosalie. My oldest son was so open, friendly, easy-going. Rosalie was not. She had been polite, but I had found her standoffish and – well, I hated to even think it, but I had thought she was a very cold person. I couldn't believe it when I found out she was going to school to be a teacher, like Emmett. But unlike Emmett, who wanted to be a high school physical education teacher, Rosalie was getting her degree to teach kindergarten. I couldn't imagine someone like her interacting with small children.

I hadn't told Emmett any of this, of course, because really my thoughts were rather rude and judgmental. I didn't want to be one of _those_ mothers. But Emmett must have been able to get a sense of my feelings, because he tried to explain Rosalie to me. He told me she'd had a rough life so far and so she was reserved, and slow to trust. He claimed that once you got to know her, she was a very warm and passionate person.

_Passionate_. Yes, I knew what my son meant there, so I didn't take his defense of Rosalie very seriously. A few months later, I had been running late for a meeting across town. Traffic had been terrible so I had jumped out of my cab and decided to cut across the park to reach the office building. To my surprise, Rosalie had been in the park with a group of very young children. Volunteer work, I later found out, required for one of her classes. She hadn't seen me, but I had stopped and watched her for awhile (of course, this made me even later for my meeting). And, watching her with the children, I saw what Emmett had seen. She laughed and played with them, and seemed genuinely interested in the stories they would tell her. She was a completely different person than the one I had met.

I never told Emmett or Rosalie what I had seen that day. But after that I made a lot of effort with Rosalie, and eventually I broke through her defenses. And when I learned her full history, and that she couldn't have children – my heart just broke for her. Emmett had been right; she _had_ had a hard life. And Jasper had shared in a lot of that. I wonder if he'll be as prickly as Rosalie on the outside, and as soft on the inside. I wonder how long it will take me to get past his guard the way I got past his sister's.

I bit my lip. Carlisle has already warned me not to overwhelm Jasper. Hopefully I won't. But I already feel so much sympathy for him. I just want to help.

* * *

**Alice POV**

I went home with Mom once we had finished getting Jasper's room ready for him. Edward and Bella were sitting in the kitchen. Mom talked with us for awhile, then went upstairs to finish some design plans. "Seriously? You and Mom were still messing with Rosalie's brother's room?" Edward asked as soon as she left.

"He has a name, Edward, and I know that you know it," I said.

Bella nudged Edward, who sighed. "Fine. _Jasper_'s room."

I didn't know what to say to Edward and Bella about Jasper. I had heard about him for years, of course, and had always found the idea of Rosalie's mysterious twin brother, living overseas doing who-knows-what in the name of God and country, intriguing. What woman wouldn't? Still, it wasn't as if I'd sat around fantasizing about the man or anything. I just happened to remember the various details about him that Rosalie had mentioned over the years.

And now he was coming to Seattle, and I would finally get to meet him. I honestly don't know why I feel so excited. These past few days I've felt like I've been waiting forever to meet Jasper. Which is silly. I've really never thought about him that much before. I really haven't. But now – I just know I'll like him. I know I can help him. Dad and Edward both say I have a very distracting presence. I'm sure that means I can help Jasper forget some of his troubles. Or at least take his mind off them.

I realized I had started flitting around the kitchen as my mind wandered, straightening things up as I went. "Alice?" Bella asked, looking confused. "Did you hear Edward? Are you all finished getting everything ready for Jasper?"

I forced myself to stop moving, and I turned to face Bella. "Yes, we finished – "

A door slammed and I heard Emmett yell, "I'm back!"

I stopped talking mid-sentence and hurried out into the foyer. "Emmett!" I exclaimed happily.

I launched myself at my humongous brother, and he swept me up into a hug. "Hey kid," he said.

He set me down. Edward and Bella had followed me into the foyer, and Mom came down the stairs when she heard the loud talking. Emmett hugged Bella as well, then pounded Edward's back. When Mom reached him he gave her a hug and I had to giggle. Emmett was acting like he had gone off to war for months, and was now coming home the conquering hero. "Why are you here alone?" I asked.

His arm around our mother's shoulders, Emmett and Mom started walking towards the kitchen. Edward, Bella, and I followed. "Dad and Rose went with Jasper to Horizon," Emmett answered me. "They didn't need me around."

"So your father got Jasper out here okay?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, it was fine," Emmett said. "He's detoxed, so it's not like he physically needs the pills."

He may not have an actual physical need for them, but I wondered how long it would take Jasper to stop _wanting_ Vicodin. "Mom, do you have any food?" Emmett asked.

Edward rolled his eyes, but Mom moved to the refrigerator to find something for Emmett to eat. We all quizzed Emmett a little while longer but he didn't have much more to tell us. Emmett's usual lack of attention to detail didn't bother me too much this time because I knew I would get a look at Jasper tomorrow. I've volunteered at Horizon for years and even though tomorrow isn't my normal volunteer day, I knew no one would mind if I came in.

It will be perfect.

* * *

**Jasper POV**

I refuse to admit it out loud, but it seems Rosalie and Carlisle and the doctors were right. I really was addicted to Vicodin. It was a physical need. And the reason I know this is because detox was one of the worst things I've ever had to go through. Luckily I had the foresight to tell Carlisle, before it started, that he should tie me to the bed. Carlisle hadn't wanted to, but once I had told him that my skill set included the ability to kill a man with my bare hands, he had changed his mind. I hadn't really thought it would get that bad, but Carlisle had known the detox would turn me desperate. And so it ended up being a good thing I had been restrained. I'm sure it would have been frowned upon if I had hurt a nurse or someone until they had given me pills.

Detox had been horrible, but at least a lot of it was a blur. I had been out of my mind with pain and nausea for a lot of it so my memories of the past two days were sketchy at best. The one thing I _did_ remember was that Carlisle and Rosalie were around. It was logical Carlisle was around, I guess, because he _is_ a doctor. Not my doctor, exactly, but still.

Rose and I had gotten into a fight about something – what it was, I couldn't remember – and after that she hadn't been there as much. I learned from one of the nurses that my "gorgeous sister with the bad temper" had been banned by Dr. Cullen. She still spent a lot of time at the hospital, though, and once Carlisle thought I was stable enough he had let her come back in. I couldn't help feeling surprised that Rose and Carlisle had stayed with me through everything. Even Emmett came in once. I can't remember the last time anyone's been so…conscientious of my well-being.

I owe Rose and Carlisle. And so I'm going to try and be better in Seattle. I won't use pills to try and forget anymore. I'll accept that remembering is the punishment for my actions. I glanced around the room I was currently in. And so I would make the best of this place – Horizon. Or, as Carlisle had said to me days ago, I could at least try.

Rosalie and Carlisle had brought me here a few hours earlier. Carlisle had done all the paperwork and explained the rules and layout of this place to me. There were two wings; one for addicts, and one for people with mental problems. Carlisle said the people in that wing mostly had anxiety or memory problems. Some had PTSD. I suppose I should be glad that, for the moment, I'm in the addict wing. I suspect that Carlisle is waiting to see whether I have PTSD. He hasn't said anything about it, but I have my suspicions.

He's wasting his time, though. I've already had various doctors think maybe that was my problem. PTSD, or some other kind of stress disorder. But it's not. I just don't like to remember the shit that's happened, and there's nowhere for me to escape. Even in sleep, the nightmares take over. There's nothing wrong with me. I almost wish there was.

After explaining all about Horizon, Carlisle and Rose had brought me to my room. I was expecting something utilitarian and so I had been surprised when I saw that an attempt had been made to make the room homey. It disconcerted me, actually, and some of that must have shown on my face because Carlisle explained that his wife and daughter had fixed the room up for me. Obviously this entire family is too Goddamn nice and helpful and shit. They probably spend Christmas Day distributing food and clothes to the poor or something.

Carlisle and Rosalie left. And now here I sat. Alone at nine o'clock at night, with nothing to do. And no pills to cloud my mind.

Fuck.

* * *

**Alice POV**

I've been feeling anxious all day. But anxious in a good way. Excited. I had to wait until after work before I could go to Horizon, of course, but finally it was time and for once I left work right at five. I hadn't told Bella, Rosalie, or any of my family members that I was planning to visit Horizon today. They would find out soon enough. And I didn't need them telling me I was being too nosy. I wasn't, really. I was just curious. Besides, I can visit with some of the others who are staying there.

And I brought Jasper a present. I hoisted my bag over my shoulder as I entered Horizon. Actually, I brought him more than one present. I brought him a few books to read. I picked out several on the Civil War. He's a Southerner, and a soldier. That has to mean he'll like books on the Civil War. I think. Hopefully he likes reading; there's not much else to do at Horizon. There is a large lounge in between the two main wings where the people from both sides of the building can hang out together. They can watch TV, or play the piano. Somehow I can't imagine Jasper wanting to hang out with everyone, though, and reading is a solitary pursuit. I'm sure he'll like the books. He just has to.

"Hi Alice," Gianna, the nurse behind the front desk, greeted me when I came in. "We weren't expecting you today."

I smiled at her. "Hi Gianna. I wanted to stop by and drop these books off for the new guy my dad brought in yesterday. Jasper Whitlock?"

"Oh, right. Is he a reader? That would make sense. He's a quiet one."

I shrugged, not wanting to tell her that I'd actually never met him before. "So how are you?" I asked, and we chatted for a little while.

"Jasper's in Room 25, all the way at the end of the hall in Wing A," Gianna eventually told me.

"Great. Thanks, Gianna. And have fun bowling tomorrow."

Gianna smiled at me as I walked away from her desk. I glanced around the lounge to see if Jasper was there. But he wasn't, of course. I hadn't expected him to be. I walked through the lounge, stopping and chatting briefly with a few of the regulars before continuing on my way. I went to the end of the hallway and came to a halt in front of Room 25. The door wasn't closed all the way – that wasn't allowed during daytime hours – but it was only open a crack.

Suddenly feeling nervous, I took a deep breath and knocked once, then pushed open the door. I took a step forward into the room but stopped almost immediately. He was sleeping. He was sprawled across his bed. One leg was bandaged and I winced when I thought of his injury. It had to be painful, especially now that he was off pain pills. Still, it was six o'clock at night and he was napping, one arm flung over his face. Without thinking about it, my lower lip stuck out in a pout. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. And with his arm positioned like that, I couldn't even see his face.

I placed the bag of books in the corner of his room and quietly left, closing the door almost all the way behind me. I decided I would stay and visit with some of the others for awhile. I could check on Jasper again before I left. Maybe he would be awake by then. I can't blame him for sleeping. It has to be exhausting; going through detox, moving out to Seattle.

I went to the lounge. It was almost dinnertime, so there were more people around than usual. "Hey Alice," Maggie said, grabbing my attention.

I smiled and sat down next to her. Maggie was only a few years older than me. She was a pretty woman, with curly red hair, and she had a cherubic face. No one would ever guess she used to cook meth. Unfortunately she had also used the drug herself, and this was what had eventually landed her in Horizon. Still, she seemed to be on the path to recovery. "Hi Maggie," I replied. "How's it going?"

We talked for a little while. Two other members of Maggie's therapy group, Liam and Siobhan, also joined in on the conversation. Finally Liam stood. "People are eating already," he said. "I'm starving. How about you?"

Maggie and Siobahn nodded, but I shook my head. "I think I'll stay here. I'll see you all later."

"See you around," Maggie said, and the three of them left for the cafeteria.

I looked around again, but no one had entered the lounge. _Still no Jasper_. I shook my head once in surprise when the thought popped into my head. I hadn't realized I had been looking for him. "Hello dear," came a soft, delicate voice.

I turned my head to see Dora standing to my left. Smiling brightly, I patted the seat next to me. "Hi Dora! How are you doing today?"

Dora sat down dreamily. She looked in my direction as she answered, but her eyes weren't focused on me. "I'm fine, dear. You know the loveliest thing happened earlier."

I cocked my head, my smile hovering around my mouth. "Oh really? What?"

Knowing Dora, it could be anything. She had been at Horizon for as long as I could remember. She wasn't an addict, and she didn't suffer from a nervous disorder; and so she didn't really belong at Horizon. But she had ended up there, somehow, years ago, and she flatly refused to move. Dora was crazy. Not in a bad way, exactly. She wasn't violent. Sometimes she knew who I was and where she was, but mostly she didn't. You never knew if the story she was telling you was a real memory from her past or not. And sometimes she just made things up – although she completely believed the lie she was telling. Once she told me she had an affair with Franklin D. Roosevelt. Dora is pretty old, but I'm almost positive Roosevelt died before she was even born.

"I met a solider," Dora answered my question.

I immediately thought of Jasper. Had Dora spoken with him? "Really? Who?" I asked aloud.

"Milton," Dora replied, a vague smile coming to her face. "He's shipping out to Germany tomorrow."

Ah, so this was a day for Dora to make up stories. For some reason, I felt as if someone was watching me. Silly, of course; I didn't bother to look around. Instead I leaned in closer to Dora. "Oh?" I prompted.

"We danced earlier. And do you know he tried to get fresh with me?"

I tried not to giggle. "Oh no!"

Dora looked at me with a growing smile, approving of my support. "He tried to slip his hands below my waist."

"Dora, that's scandalous!" I played along, lowering my voice.

Dora's eyes lit with mischief. "Do you know, I almost let him. He is shipping out tomorrow. And he has such pretty blond hair. Maybe I should go find him…" she trailed off.

"Have you eaten?" I gently reminded her.

She looked back at me, and smiled. "Eating? What an excellent idea, dear. Excuse me."

I watched as Dora stood and headed to the cafeteria, already forgetting about her made-up Milton. I had a faint smile on my face as I stood and checked my watch. An hour had passed. The lounge was practically empty since everyone had gone to dinner. I hadn't been paying that much attention to my surroundings while I had been talking to the others, but I was relatively sure I would have noticed if Jasper had passed through on his way to dinner.

He must still be in his room. Without giving myself too much time to think about it, I walked towards his room once again. The door seemed to be open a little bit more than I had left it but I could still see Jasper lying in bed, and I bit back a sigh. Why was he still asleep? I stepped into his room and, my back to his bed, I bent over and picked up the bag of books I had left on the floor. I could at least put them away for him before I left.

I carefully took the books out of the bag, trying not to make any noise, and arranged them on the lone shelf in the room. Mom had left the shelf empty while decorating the room, with the thought that Jasper would be bringing his own things with him and maybe he would want to put something there. But I could see Jasper hadn't brought much of anything with him. I figured he wouldn't mind if I took up his shelf space with the books. I finished putting the books on the shelf and straightened them. I turned around to leave – I would have to come back and meet Jasper a different day – and glanced towards his bed one last time.

And for a second I froze. Because Jasper wasn't asleep. He was sitting there, eyes open, and watching me. He looked tired, and wary, and his eyes were a beautiful shade of blue. His jaw was set, and a scar ran down the side of his face. This should have made him look dangerous, or menacing. Well, I could admit that he did look a little dangerous, even though he was on his back. But I didn't feel any fear or worry. I was finally going to meet him! I felt excited, and pressed my lips together to stop the huge smile that was threatening to spread across my face. All I could think was, _Finally! He's kept me waiting so long_.

* * *

**Jasper POV**

I woke up from my nap with a start. Remnants of my nightmare echoed in my head, but I ruthlessly pushed them away. At least I hadn't woken up screaming. That was something. I have my own room at this Goddamn place – Horizon – but I'm sure that if I started screaming, someone would come in to see what was going on. And my door isn't even closed all the way. That's not allowed during daytime hours.

Today is my first full day at Horizon. I learned that they have rules, they have crazies, and they have way too much therapy. It's only five o'clock in the afternoon and I've already been to one group and one private therapy session. Obviously I have no intention of talking about my feelings to any of these people, so attending these sessions is really a waste of time.

As soon as I left therapy I had come back to my room to try and take a nap. I was tired; I hadn't gotten a good night's sleep last night. And if I were sleeping, I wouldn't have to talk to anyone and I wouldn't be thinking about how much I wanted Vicodin. I had thought my plan was a good one – until the nightmare ruined it. Now I was awake with nothing to do, and I would rather lie here than go out and socialize with any of these people.

Then I heard quick, light footsteps coming down the hall. My room was at the very end of the hallway. If anyone was coming down here, it was to see me. Scowling at the thought I stretched out in bed, putting my arm over my face. Sure enough, there was a knock on the door before it was pushed open.

I smelled cherry blossoms. I had gone to Washington, D.C. once during cherry blossom season, and the smell of it filled the city. I lifted my arm ever-so-slightly to try and see who it was in my room. I saw the back of a small woman with short dark hair. With the way my arm was positioned I couldn't see her very well. She left something on the floor, then exited the room.

I waited until I heard her footsteps recede before getting out of bed. I hobbled over to look at the bag she had left in the corner. Peering in, I saw that it was full of books. I picked one out and realized it was on the Civil War. _Weird_, I thought, my brow furrowing.

I wondered about the woman. She must work here, although I don't see how reading can be any kind of therapy. I decided to see if I could find her. I didn't want to talk to her, of course. I was just curious. I glanced at my crutches propped in the corner of the room. My knee was hurting. But I would probably be stealthier without the crutches. Deciding stealth was more important than pain, I left my room without the crutches. I limped down the hallway and stopped at the end of it. From my position I could see into the lounge but I was relatively sure no one could see me unless they really looked.

And then I saw her. It had to be her. She couldn't be any taller than five feet, and she had that short dark hair. She was on the other side of the lounge so I couldn't make out her face very well. But I could see she was smiling. The people she was talking to were smiling as well.

As I continued to watch, I decided she couldn't possibly work here. No one was that happy when they were talking to a therapist, and the three people she was talking to were all laughing. I kept watching as those three left, and the woman began talking to an old woman I had met earlier today. Dora, that was her name. Dora and the woman leaned in to talk as if they were sharing secrets, and both had smiles on their faces. I'm sure I've never seen anyone smile so much in my entire life.

My knee was really starting to hurt from me standing there for so long, so I slowly made my way back to my room. I had just lay back down on my bed when I heard footsteps in the hallway again. And I recognized the footfall; it was that weird happy woman. I quickly closed my eyes and feigned sleep once more.

After a minute, I heard her rustling through the bag of books. Unable to control my curiosity, I opened my eyes to find myself, once again, looking at the back of her head. She was arranging the books on the empty shelf in my room. Who the hell was she, and why did she think she could come in here and do whatever she wanted? It's not like I was using that shelf, but –

I stopped thinking when she bent over to get more books out of the bag. She may be petite, but she has a really nice ass. Who _is _this woman? She's pretty dressed up for someone working here, but I like these pants she's wearing. They're nice and tight. She straightened, her back still to me, and I quickly raised my eyes.

Then she looked at me, and my mind went blank for the second time in five minutes. Her short haircut, which could have looked manly, only made her delicate features more beautiful. And her eyes. Her eyes were big and gray – who the hell even has gray eyes? – and were bright with happiness. And it wasn't just her eyes, it was her entire expression. She was looking at me with excitement and delight. She _radiated_ happiness; it was practically infectious. For some insane reason, I found myself wanting to smile at her.

I didn't, of course. This oddly happy, beautiful woman was still an unknown. I wanted to ask her who she was. I wanted to ask her what she was doing in my room, bringing me things and arranging them as if she knew what I would like. And I wanted, I needed, to know why she was looking at _me_ with such joy. Her lips were pressed together, and I could see she was fighting a smile.

But instead of asking her anything, I just kept staring at her. She took a few steps forward and held out her hand. "You've kept me waiting for awhile now," she said, her voice light and melodic.

I sat up and took her hand in mine. I don't know why I said it, but for some reason it was the only response that sprang to mind. "I'm sorry."


	5. Sunshine and Light

_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own _Twilight_.

_**Author's Note:**_ Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

And thanks to whoever nominated me for _Best Unknown Author_ at the **Silent Tear Awards**. You can check out all the nominees and vote at http://silent-tear-awards(dot)webs(dot)com

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* * *

**Alice POV**

I was excited to see Jasper was awake. I took a few steps forward and held out my hand, intending to shake his. "You've kept me waiting for awhile now," I said, trying to sound nonchalant as those deep blue eyes stayed locked on mine.

He sat up and took my hand. I could feel my heart rate speed up. His hand was rough and callused. Neither one of us made any movement and so I just stood there, my hand clasped in his. "I'm sorry," Jasper said.

This time I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. I squeezed his hand gently, then let it go. He didn't smile back at me and just continued to stare. I resisted the urge to fidget. Feeling his eyes on me didn't make me feel nervous, exactly – or maybe it did. But not in a bad way. "I'm Alice," I said.

His eyes didn't flicker with recognition at my name. "I'm friends with Rosalie. I'm Emmett's sister."

Now Jasper's expression became guarded. I thought I knew the reason why. He probably assumed I was checking up on him. I tried to sound casual. "I'm not – no one knows I'm here talking to you. I volunteer here, at Horizon. I have for years. So I thought I would introduce myself to you, since I was here. Oh and I brought you some books – " I gestured towards the books I had arranged on his shelf, " – because I know there's not much to do here, and you're from the South, and a soldier, so I thought maybe you'd like to read about the Civil War."

I stopped babbling and, with a teasing smile, corrected myself. "I mean, the War Between the States."

One side of Jasper's mouth edged up at that. I could feel my body tingle. Shaggy blond hair, suspicious blue eyes, a scar down his face – but that half-smile suddenly made him seem _very_ attractive. "Alice!" came a surprised voice at Jasper's door.

I turned to find my father standing there. "Hey Dad," I said, as surprised to see him as he was to see me.

I knew today wasn't his regular day to come in to Horizon either. He came over and put his arm around me, and I tried to appear innocent. Still, I was sure he knew I was here because I was curious about Jasper. I looked back at Jasper, but he was looking at Dad. The half-smile was gone from his face. "How are you doing today, Jasper?" Dad asked.

"Fine," he replied.

Jasper was certainly a man of few words. "Well I should go," I said, figuring Dad had some doctor-patient stuff to talk to Jasper about.

"I'll see you at dinner tomorrow, right?" Dad asked, giving me a hug.

"Yes, I'll be there."

I hugged him back and turned to leave. I shot Jasper a smile over my shoulder. "Nice meeting you."

* * *

**Jasper POV**

I don't want to need pills. I don't want to spend so much time thinking about how much I want them. Usually I want them because of the physical discomfort I'm in, or because I don't want painful memories running through my mind. As of this morning, I want them to escape the misery that is group therapy.

This morning I was forced to have breakfast with my group, and then we all went to therapy together. I have yet to share anything beyond my name and what I was addicted to. It shocks me that so many people in the group _want_ to share. I think they like hearing themselves talk. Or maybe they like getting attention, even if it is only from other fuck-ups like me. I would rather face a firing squad than talk to these people about my feelings.

I was briefly elated when the group leader told us our session was over, because I knew I didn't have any other therapy sessions scheduled for the day. Unfortunately, I soon learned why I had such a large block of free time: it was Saturday. And Saturday, at Horizon, is Family Visitors' Day.

My elation quickly disappeared. Scowling, I quickly limped away from my group as they all started walking from our therapy room to the main lounge. I hobbled down the hallway, pleased when I reached my room without having to talk to anyone. I opened my door and quickly closed it behind me. Then I turned around – only to find my sister sitting on my bed. "Hello twin," Rosalie said with a smirk.

I frowned at her. "What are you doing here?"

"It's Visitors' Day, favorite brother," Rosalie said with ill-concealed glee. "Who else would come see you?"

I sat heavily in the chair across the room. "I'm your only brother," I pointed out.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "If I had another brother, you probably wouldn't be my favorite."

"Thanks."

I started rubbing my knee without thinking about it. When I saw Rosalie notice the motion, I realized what I was doing and stopped. "Why are you in such a good mood?" I asked to distract her.

She shrugged. "So how's it going here?"

Fuck no. I did not just get out of a therapy session to sit here and talk about my feelings with Rosalie. "Why don't you ask Dr. Cullen? He came to check up on me yesterday."

And although he had been as kind and calm as usual – which in and of itself baffled me – I was sure he didn't approve of his daughter spending time with me. He hadn't said anything to me about it, of course, but I have some experience with this kind of thing. Fathers don't like me. "I didn't know Carlisle stopped by," Rosalie said with a small frown. "No one told me."

I fought the urge to smirk at my sister. Rosalie hated when people didn't inform her of their every move. "I guess Emmett doesn't tell you everything," I couldn't resist saying.

Rosalie's eyes narrowed and I tried to keep the smile off my face. How had I forgotten how much fun it was to piss Rose off? We're both pretty emotional and always fought as kids. But as we got older, I learned to hide and control my emotions. Rose never did. "Emmett knew Carlisle came to see you?" she asked.

I shrugged. I honestly had no idea whether or not Emmett knew. But I knew my non-answer would make Rose mad. Maybe then she'll leave me alone. I don't want to talk to anyone, Rosalie included.

Rosalie was grumbling under her breath. "Look, I was going to take a nap…" I trailed off, hoping Rosalie would get the hint and leave.

She stopped her muttering and looked at me with – was that sympathy I saw on her face? I could feel myself recoil. "Have you been sleeping all right?" she asked.

"I'm fine," I said automatically. "I'm just tired."

Rosalie held my gaze for a minute, and I made sure to keep my expression blank. After a moment she broke eye contact and stood, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Fine. Have a nice Visitors' Day by yourself."

* * *

**Jasper POV**

I was surprised to see Alice at Horizon the next day. I had just gone to a meeting with a physical therapist who wanted to work out a schedule for rehabilitating my knee. It was going to be long and painful, which is nothing I haven't gone through before. After I left the PT's office I had to cut through the main lounge to get back to my room. It was then that I spotted Alice.

She was hard to miss. Alice was sitting with the same three people I had seen her with a few days ago, and her bright laughter was ringing throughout the room. The people she was with weren't laughing, but they were smiling. I leaned against the wall and watched as she chatted animatedly to the others. After a moment she looked up and her big gray eyes locked on mine. I raised an eyebrow at her, and she beamed at me.

_Maybe she came to see me._

I don't know where that thought came from. But the idea didn't bother me. There are worse things than having a gorgeous woman around, even if she is friends with my sister and the daughter of my doctor. Alice gave me a little wave but didn't come over to talk to me; instead, she continued speaking with the three people she was with.

It was then that I remembered: Alice has volunteered at Horizon for years. Just because she's a Cullen doesn't mean she's here to see me. I hung around for awhile, but I didn't go over to Alice. She was flitting around, talking with everyone, and they all seemed happy to see her. Not everyone at Horizon is – how had the therapist put it? oh yes, blank and reserved – like me, but my fellow fuck-ups aren't sunshine and light, either. I've never seen so many of them smiling.

I cocked my head and studied Alice. What is it about her? I've dealt with my share of "nice" people who volunteer at hospitals and shelters. They say they do it to help the less fortunate. I'm sure they believe that. But usually their voices are too high, their smiles too forced. They speak down to you, as if you're an idiot for being a drug addict. And if you're not grateful to them for giving up their precious time, they quickly turn on you. They donate their time to feel good about themselves, not because they're self-less.

Somehow, Alice seems different. She seems _genuine_. I'm not the only one who feels this way; everyone seems happy to be around her. Is anyone really this good? I wonder why she volunteers at a place like this. Alice was currently deep in conversation with one of the women in my therapy group, Senna, and I decided to go back to my room. I slowly made my way back – because fuck my knee really hurt – and left my door open once I entered.

Just as I sat down, Alice appeared in the doorway. "Hi," she said brightly.

I made to stand up, but she held up her hand. "No, don't get up. How's it going?"

I watched as she sat on the bed. She was just perched on the edge, but it still put ideas in my head; ideas that involved me, and Alice, in my bed. _Don't think about that now_, I warned myself.

"Uh, I'm fine," I answered her question.

Alice placed her hands behind her on the mattress and casually leaned back. "Tell me something."

I looked at her, waiting for her to finish her sentence, but she didn't say anything else. "Tell you what?" I asked after a moment.

She shrugged, a small smile on her face. "I don't know. Anything. How long were you back in Texas?"

I wonder how much Rosalie has told her about me. "I've been back for a year."

"Why'd you come back?"

Her big eyes were looking at me earnestly. "I was sent back," I corrected her. "Injury."

Alice frowned slightly. "Are you out of the Army now? You were Army, right?"

Mimicking her gesture from before, I shrugged. "Yeah," I replied.

That was more or less true. "What about you?" I asked.

I would rather learn about Alice than talk about myself. Alice smiled. "What about me?" she asked, a teasing lilt in her voice.

One side of my mouth edged up. "I don't know. Anything."

Alice giggled when I threw her words back at her. "Well, I live with Bella. She's dating Edward – my other brother. Emmett's the oldest, then Edward, then me. Bella and I have been best friends for years, and then in high school Edward and Bella started dating. Well, not until our junior year because it took them forever to get their act together – "

She broke off, her smile turning apologetic. "Sorry, you probably don't care about that. Anyway, I've lived with Bella for a few years now. We graduated from college last year – we went to the University of Seattle together – and I have a degree in marketing and communications. Now I'm working as a party planner."

"A party planner?" I repeated.

What was that? Were there really people too lazy to plan their own parties? Alice sat up and crossed her arms. "Yes," she said, her voice a touch defensive.

Oh, great. Now I've offended her somehow. "I've just never heard of it before," I said, not wanting her to be annoyed with me.

The furrow in Alice's brow became less pronounced with my response. "I like doing it. I'm very organized, and I like people," she explained. "I'm helping the client create happy memories."

As I looked into Alice's completely guileless eyes, I realized she absolutely meant what she was saying. And it made sense. Of course she would have a job making people happy.

* * *

**Alice POV**

"Anybody here?" I called as I walked into my parents' home.

"Kitchen!" came Rosalie's voice.

I walked into the kitchen to find Rosalie sitting there reading a magazine. "Where is everyone?" I asked, going over to the refrigerator to pour a glass of water.

"Carlisle let us in and now he and Emmett are, I don't know, looking at something upstairs. Esme's not home yet."

"They're probably hiding upstairs and hoping you'll start dinner, since Mom's not home," I told her.

Rosalie snorted. "Emmett should know better than that. If Edward and Bella ever get here, Bella Crocker can make us all something."

"Bella's not coming, she's working late," I said absently.

Rosalie set the magazine aside and crossed her legs, looking at me as I took a sip of my water. "Where have you been?"

"Horizon," I answered.

Rosalie raised her eyebrows. "Oh really."

"You know I volunteer there," I said.

I tried to sound casual. I wasn't sure what Rosalie would think if I told her Jasper intrigued me. "Yes I do know," Rosalie responded.

She kept her voice light but her eyes were curious. "So did you meet my friendly, cheerful, chatterbox of a brother?"

I snickered at Rosalie's words. Still, I could see that despite her casual tone, she really wanted to know what I thought of Jasper. "I met him. We talked for awhile."

"He _spoke_?" Rosalie asked, over-exaggerating her shocked tone.

I smiled, setting down my glass of water. "Yes. He's not a talker, you're right about that, but he can hold up a conversation."

"If he wants to," Rosalie muttered.

I pretended I didn't hear her. I knew that Rosalie had gone to see Jasper for Visitors' Day the day before, and that it hadn't gone well. "What did you talk about?" Rosalie asked.

"This may surprise you, but it was mostly me talking."

Rosalie grinned. "Why would that surprise me?"

I couldn't help smiling. "Well, you know. He did mention that he's been back in Texas for a year. He was sent home injured. And he's out of the Army, so his injury must have been pretty bad. Right?"

Rosalie nodded, frowning slightly. "Yeah, the Army would have shipped him back overseas if they could've. He must have permanent damage."

I frowned too, looking down at the table and tracing circles on it with my index finger. How much had the car accident aggravated his old injuries? The poor man. He's been through so much. "His eyes are sad."

"What?" Rosalie asked.

I glanced up to find Rosalie looking at me. I hadn't realized I had voiced my last thought. "His eyes are – " tortured, haunted, guarded, " – sad," I said.

Rosalie sighed, propping her chin in her hand. "I know. He's always been reserved and he was never Mr. Sunshine and Light, but he's different now."

She let out a frustrated sigh. "It's the pills. Don't you think? It has to be."

I chose my words carefully, my time at Horizon giving me plenty of experience with addicts. "I'm sure the struggle to get over his addiction is hard. But – Rose, I don't think he started taking Vicodin because he was bored and looking for something new to try. There's probably a deeper issue."

Rosalie scowled. "I bet it's the damn Army's fault."

I didn't respond. I already knew I wanted to do whatever I could to help Jasper. I wanted to help everyone at Horizon, of course; that's why I volunteered there. But something about Jasper tugged on my heartstrings.

And he _looked_ at me. He had watched me for awhile in the lounge earlier. I had felt his eyes on me. He had looked at me later, too, when we were talking in his room. His eyes never strayed from my face when I chattered away about Bella and my job. When he looked at me, I felt nervous. It was a nervous excitement I felt in my stomach. I've never felt like this before. But I don't think I'm the only one who feels that way.

Sometimes I looked at him. And when our gazes would meet I could see that when he looked at me, his eyes weren't as sad.

* * *

**Edward POV**

"He was all anyone would talk about last night at dinner," I said into the phone. "Alice has met him now too."

"_She volunteers at Horizon_," Bella pointed out.

I don't know why thoughts of Jasper annoyed me so much. At first I thought it was just because he was Rosalie's brother, but now I'm not so sure. "He's a drug addict who got messed up when he did – whatever he did – in the Army. Do you really want Alice to become friends with someone like that?"

"_Edward, stop. That sounds like the kind of person who would benefit from knowing Alice, doesn't it_?"

I ran a hand through my hair. "Alice is too excited about him," I complained.

Bella gave a little laugh. Clearly my girlfriend is not taking me seriously. "_What does that even mean_?" she asked.

"Has she talked about Jasper to you?"

"_No_."

"Bella, she's just – I think she likes him."

There, I said it. And _that_ is what has been bothering me. Jasper sounds unstable, self-destructive, and he's probably dangerous. Not someone I want around my innocent little sister.

"_You think she likes him? _Likes_ him, likes him_?"

"Yes."

I've always been able to tell what Alice is thinking. Last night Alice, Dad, Mom, Emmett, and Rosalie had all been discussing ways to help Jasper. Alice clearly wants to help him, and I know she has every intention of making him her friend. "_What makes you think that_?" Bella asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"When they were all talking about Jasper last night…I don't know, Bella, it just seems like – I think Alice is attracted to him."

"_You're basing this off a dinner conversation_?" Bella's voice was tinged with doubt.

"Yes," I insisted.

Bella sighed. "_Maybe you're reading too much into it. You're just looking for reasons to dislike this guy because he's Rosalie's brother_."

"So? She's a bitch."

"_I can't argue with that, but let's not talk about it_."

I smiled reluctantly. I have never gotten along with Rosalie. Rosalie has never been nice to Bella, either, but Bella has somehow still managed to always be polite to her. "So why did you have to stay late at work yesterday?" I asked, changing the subject.

"_Billy wanted to talk to me_," Bella said, naming her boss. "_He's giving me my very own case_."

"That's great," I said sincerely.

Bella has worked for BlackListed, Billy Black's private investigation firm, for about six months now. She's talked enough about getting her own case that I know it's a big deal. "_It's my chance to prove myself_," Bella said seriously.

"Bella, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. You're great at your job."

Billy and Bella's father were old friends. When Bella was hired, a few of her co-workers had been standoffish because they thought she only got the job thanks to her connections to the Black family. "_You have to say that, you love me_."

I smiled. "I do love you. But I still mean it. What's the case?"

"_I hope I can solve it, Edward_," Bella said, her tone sober. "_It's so terrible. A child molester – Laurent – was acquitted in court. He was let off on a technicality. There's no doubt he did it. So the family of the child he hurt hired us to investigate him. Child molesters are repeat offenders. They can't help themselves. I'm going dig around and hopefully find something – anything – that can build a stronger case against this creep so that we can send him to jail for good_."

I blinked. I had been expecting Bella to say she was investigating a cheating spouse or something, not anything so serious. "Oh. That's terrible. Be careful, Bella."

An image of a ten-year-old Alice lying in a hospital bed, beaten to within an inch of her life, flashed through my mind. My voice hardened. "I hope you get the bastard. Anyone who hurts a child is a monster."

* * *

**Alice POV**

"I want to meet him," Mom said.

I was at home with both of my parents, the three of us having dinner together. I had asked Dad if he had seen Jasper lately and then Mom had spoken up. "Saturday is Visitors' Day," Mom continued. "I could go with Rosalie to see him."

Everyone loves my mother. I'm sure meeting her would be good for Jasper. "I think that's a great idea," I said. "I was thinking of going to Horizon for Visitors' Day this week too."

I saw Dad glance over at me when I said that, but he didn't comment. "Jasper's kind of quiet, but he's always nice to me. I know he and Rosalie had a little fight last week, but I don't think he'll have a problem with us," I told Mom.

She nodded in agreement. "Maybe if we're there, he and Rosalie will both behave a little better."

Mom looked at my father. "What do you think?" she asked him hopefully.

Dad's eyes softened when he looked at her, and a small smile came to his face. "I think it will be good for Jasper to be around people. I heard he doesn't say much in group therapy."

"He doesn't say much, period," I pointed out.

Dad gave a little chuckle. "True. But it will be good for him to have interactions with others. It should take his mind off his problems."

Mom and I exchanged a look and a smile. We all talked awhile longer, and then I helped Dad clear the table. "Are you staying here tonight?" he asked as we made our way into the kitchen.

It was already getting pretty late, and I knew Edward was staying over at Bella's and my apartment tonight. "Yes," I said with a nod.

An hour later I was in bed in my childhood room. It had been a long day, and it didn't take me long to fall asleep.

_My whole body was screaming with pain. I was curled up in the backseat of a moving car. I had no idea how I had gotten there, or where we were going. "Hold on," came a voice._

_I wasn't afraid of this voice. This voice was kind. "I'm going to help you. Just, please, hang on."_

_But I couldn't hold on to anything. It hurt too much to move. I heard a guttural moan, and it took me a moment realize it was coming from me. The car came to a sudden halt, and I cried out as it jarred my pain-riddled body._

I woke up with a loud gasp. Automatically I put my hand over my mouth so that no other sounds would escape. Years of experience had taught me to be quiet so I wouldn't disturb my parents. Not that they would have minded, but they thought I had stopped having nightmares years ago. I hadn't. I had just learned how to manage them a little. I no longer woke up screaming or crying like I had in years past. It would only make Mom and Dad worry if they knew my sleep was often still disrupted by nightmares.

There was one thing I still couldn't control, though. No matter how hard I tried, I could never remember what I dreamt about. I could still feel the emotions the nightmare evoked, but the reasons for those feelings were a mystery.

Unsettled, I burrowed under the covers and tried to get some more sleep before I had to get up for work.

* * *

**Please review!**

**-J**


	6. Connections

_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own _Twilight_.

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**Jasper POV**

I woke up to the sound of yelling and people moving around in the doorway. I blinked once and my mind cleared, and it was then I realized the yelling was coming from me. I abruptly shut my mouth. Two nurses were hovering in the doorway to my room, along with a doctor I had never seen before. "I'm fine," I said, sitting up and leaning away from him as he stepped towards me.

He raised an eyebrow. "If this is a recurring – "

"I'm fine," I repeated, my tone leaving no room for argument.

Apparently the doctor had better things to do at three-thirty in the morning than worry about me, because he took my word for it and left. I ran a hand over my face. There's no way in hell I'm going back to sleep. One nightmarish memory a night is enough for me. Still feeling unsettled, I glanced around my room. What the fuck am I supposed to do for the next few hours?

_Take some pills_.

My eyes fell on the shelf where Alice had arranged those books she brought me. I glanced at the clock, which read three forty-two, then looked back at the bookshelf. I slowly and painfully got out of bed, hobbled over, grabbed a few books at random, and hobbled back to bed. Maybe if the reading was really boring, my mind would empty and I would slip into a dreamless sleep.

But by the next day, I was hooked. I read during all of my free time. I was surprised to discover I found it fascinating. I had learned about the Civil War back in high school – probably earlier than that – but I had never found it so interesting before. Maybe it was because now I had some of my own wartime experiences to compare it with. And while, technologically speaking, the Civil War was a simpler time, I was learning that the reasons for the war were as mixed-up and muddled as the motivation behind any current world conflict.

I read during lunch – not that anyone would try and talk to me anyway – and sat in the lounge to read some more once I was finished eating. No one would bother me, and I had quickly ascertained that both the seating and the lighting were better out here than in my room. I settled in to read more about the economic reasons behind the Civil War.

But my reading was interrupted a short while later by a bright peal of laughter. I looked up to see Alice standing near one of my fellow drug addicts, Maggie, and talking to her. Alice's hands were moving animatedly as she spoke and I almost had to smile. Seeing her standing next to Maggie only made it all the more obvious that Alice was a small woman. How a tiny thing like her seems to have so much energy, I'll never know. Alice turned around, as if she could feel me watching her, and she looked around the room before her gaze landed on me. A smile broke out over her face when she saw me. I gave her a nod, and she waved at me. But to my disappointment, she continued speaking with Maggie.

I looked back down at my book, but suddenly the Civil War didn't seem so interesting. I wanted Alice to come to me. I liked her – and not just because I found her incredibly sexy. I was actually trying _not_ to think about that, what with her being Carlisle's daughter and Rosalie's friend. I just like talking to her. Not that I talk much, but I like hearing her talk. When I spoke with her the other day, I had been happy to watch and listen as she went on about her job, her friends. Her cheerful chatter both distracted and relaxed me. Alice's eyes had been bright, and there was a smile on her face. She had gestured with her hands as she spoke. And she kept looking at me, checking on my reaction. Seeing if I was interested in what she was saying, or if I was reacting in any way.

Then she would ask me something and stop talking and moving, quiet as she waited for my response, and all that positive energy would be focused on me. Usually I avoided being the center of anyone's attention but I found that I didn't mind when it was Alice's eyes on me. She looked at me so earnestly, like she really wanted to hear what I would say; like she wanted to figure me out, like she found what I had to say interesting. I had made one comment that had made her smile, and in return I had felt pleased. I know myself, and what other people think of me. 'Bringing a smile to the face of another' is not in the description.

I pretended to keep reading as I discreetly watched Alice. Maggie's friends came over, and Alice stayed with the group for a bit. She seemed to be having a good time with them – there was a smile on her face – but she had dark circles under her eyes. I cocked my head slightly, wondering about that. Alice is gorgeous, good at her job, and has her friends, her family. She always seems so happy. What could be keeping her up at night? I always thought sleepless nights were reserved for fucked-up people like me. I continued to watch her, but Alice didn't seem to be acting any differently as she talked and laughed with the group.

And when Maggie and the others left, she walked towards me. I stopped pretending to read and closed my book when she came over. She was wearing ridiculously high heels but she didn't have any trouble walking in them, and they made her legs look really long. "Hi," she said brightly, sitting down.

I don't think anyone has ever looked so happy to see me. "Hi," I echoed.

She glanced down at my lap and smiled. For one wild moment I thought she was checking out my crotch but then she looked up at me again and asked, "Are you liking the books, then?"

I glanced down. Oh, right. The book was in my lap. "Yeah. I had trouble sleeping, so I started reading."

Alice smiled at me, her eyes warm as she touched my arm. "I'm glad you had them to keep you busy."

I would read books on underwater basket weaving if it meant she would keep smiling and touching me. "How did you know I'd like them?" I asked curiously.

Alice leaned forward slightly. "I'm good at knowing what people will need."

I leaned forward too and, without thinking, reached out and touched her face. Her skin was soft and smooth. "What about what you need? You look tired."

A look I couldn't read flashed over her face before she removed my hand from her face, holding it in hers. I sat back quickly. Her smile had dimmed, but she kept my hand in hers for a moment. "Alice," I said, afraid I had done something wrong and she wouldn't want to talk to me anymore, "I – "

"I just have trouble sleeping sometimes," Alice spoke over me.

My gaze met hers and I saw a hint of something in Alice's eyes. What it was, I don't know. But then it was gone, and she tilted her head to the side as a teasing smile came to her face. She let go of my hand. "And Jasper, didn't living with Rosalie teach you anything? You're never supposed to tell a woman she looks tired."

One side of my mouth edged up, as I once again spoke before thinking. "What if I tell you you're still beautiful?"

I don't know what it is about Alice that makes me blurt things out. Usually I carefully weigh my remarks before voicing them. For the first time since I met her, Alice seemed to be at a loss for words. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but I did mean it. Alice _is_ beautiful; I can't possibly be the first one to tell her so. "Thanks," she said, giving me an almost shy smile.

She shifted, crossing her legs. I tried not to look as her skirt rode up a little. "How are you doing?" she asked, changing the subject.

I like Alice, but that doesn't mean I want to burden her with my problems. "Fine," I replied.

I held up my book. "I have these to help pass the time."

She smiled, and I relaxed. The awkward moment had passed. "Well, Visitors' Day is coming up in a few days," she said. "I'm sure that will be a distraction. I know Rosalie wants to come. Again," she added.

I frowned slightly. Had Rosalie said something to Alice about her visit on Saturday? Alice had a knowing look on her face. I tried not to sound defensive as I answered. "I was tired the last time she was here."

"Well, good. Because people other than Rosalie want to see you on Saturday."

Alice was coming on Visitors' Day? I felt pleased at that thought. "My family wants to meet you," Alice continued. "They're going to come with Rosalie."

I leaned back slightly, the response instinctive. "What?" I asked warily.

"My dad and I often come, to visit with other patients who don't have anyone," Alice explained.

Okay, so maybe I couldn't argue with Carlisle coming. He would probably be too busy to come and talk to me, anyway. I could handle seeing Rose, and I'd like to see Alice. "And Emmett's coming too," Alice said.

I frowned slightly, but Alice narrowed her eyes at me. "He doesn't want Rose to come alone."

Oh, great. Did Rosalie think bringing Emmett would make intimidate me into being nice? He may be big, but – "And my mother wants to come," Alice interrupted my train of thought.

What. The fuck. What is _with_ this family? This is all Rosalie's fault, for linking me with these people. Okay, I might like Alice. And Carlisle's not that bad. And Emmett seemed like a good guy; nice, and kind of fun, so I don't know what he's doing with my sister.

But Alice's mother? Why would she want to come to a place like this, just to meet me? "Why?" I asked, truly baffled.

Alice cocked her head at me. "Why not? You'll like her."

I think Alice could sense that my reluctance at meeting another member of the Cullen clan, because she quickly added, "She's really the one who set up your room. I just helped. She wants to know if you like it."

My brow wrinkled in confusion. What did I care about my surroundings? Do these people _know_ the places I've lived in? "I like it fine," I said.

Alice sighed. "Jasper. She's going to come, and you're going to let her be nice to you. Okay?"

There really wasn't a way out of this, I could tell. The only thing I could do was agree. "Okay."

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**Rosalie POV**

"Hey babe," Emmett said, coming into our apartment and giving me a kiss.

I was still in shock, my phone in my hand. Emmett pulled back and looked at me. "What is it?"

"That was Alice," I said slowly. "She said she talked to Jasper and told him we were all coming to see him on Saturday."

Emmett just looked at me. "So?"

"So he – he _agreed_."

Emmett didn't seem that surprised, but he doesn't know my brother like I do. "People always do what Alice wants them to do," Emmett pointed out.

"Yes, but…" I trailed off, not sure how to finish that sentence.

If I didn't know any better, I would think Jasper was going along with what Alice wanted because he liked her. I know that's almost always the only reason guys do anything. With very few exceptions, men only want sex – and they'll do or say whatever they think the woman wants to hear in order to get it.

Not my Emmett, of course. And I can't see my brother playing those games either. Emmett was right; people do what Alice wants. But I can't imagine Alice, sweet as she may be, melting my brother.

Could she?

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**Jasper POV**

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act. Today is Visitors' Day. I know Alice and Rosalie are hoping I'll open up, or at least have a conversation. But it's been so long since I've existed in normal, polite society that I don't think I know the rules anymore. Should I ask Alice's mother about the weather? Maybe I could ask about her job. Alice likes to talk about her job.

I could feel panic setting in. I don't even know if Alice's mother has a job. Maybe she stays at home. Then what do I ask her about? Cooking? I can't talk to a woman about cooking. I can't. I won't. Why did I ever agree to this? These people can't possibly _want_ to know me. Even Rosalie will lose interest soon enough.

I was distracted when I caught sight of Alice and Carlisle coming in. Alice threw me a smile, but both of them occupied themselves with other residents. I went back to my room and tried to read, hoping to quiet my anxiety.

A short while later there was a knock on the door. "Hey Jasper," Alice said cheerfully, pushing open the door and stepping in before I even stood.

I tried not to feel overwhelmed as Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, and a woman I had never seen before followed Alice in. The woman had to be Emmett's mother; they had the same hazel eyes. She was pretty and had kind eyes. Her hair was brushed smoothly back from her heart-shaped face. "Hi," I replied to Alice.

Rosalie and Emmett greeted me – Emmett looking at me warningly, like he thought I would start shouting and raving at my sister or his mother – and Carlisle introduced his wife to me. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen," I said politely.

She smiled at me and I could tell she wanted to step forward and give me a hug, but luckily she didn't. "Please, call me Esme," she said warmly.

I glanced at Alice, who gave me an encouraging smile, and gave Mrs. Cullen – Esme – a slight nod without responding. This didn't deter her friendliness. She stepped over and handed me a plastic container. I took it from her and looked at her questioningly. "They're brownies," she said gently. "I thought you would like some homemade food."

I didn't know what to say. It's been years since anyone has baked anything for me. And now this woman I don't even know took the time to make brownies and give them to me. I looked at Alice, unsure of how I was supposed to react. "Do you like brownies?" Alice prompted me.

I nodded the affirmative. "Thank you," I said to Esme.

Esme's smile widened and her eyes warmed, and I awkwardly looked away.

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**Carlisle POV**

I hope today goes well. It's not that Jasper is doing badly at Horizon; it's that I don't know how he's really feeling. He hasn't tried to get pills from anyone, and I suppose that's something. But he doesn't talk to anyone. Not me, not his therapist, not anyone else in his group. He keeps to himself. I knew Jasper was reserved and stoic, but I thought maybe that would change once he was settled in at Horizon. So far, it hasn't changed. One of the nurses told me he reads all the time now. It's good that he's starting to show an interest in other things, even if it is a solitary pursuit like reading. Still, he hasn't made any friends. He's existing at Horizon because Rosalie and I talked him into it, but he has yet to make the choice to really _live_ his life.

Although, I know Alice likes him. Alice likes most people, but one of the nurses told me she saw Jasper actually speaking to Alice. So maybe he likes her, too. That's my daughter's gift. She can meet someone and know how to approach them, what to say. It's like she already sees a future with herself as that person's friend. So maybe Jasper will start to open up to other people once Alice breaks down his walls.

I am a bit nervous about how today is going to go. Esme is so excited to meet Jasper. I know Rosalie didn't spend much time with him the previous week because Jasper was irritable, and the nurses told me he is still having nightmares and wakes up screaming. I'm a little concerned he is going to be his usual taciturn self, which would probably end up hurting Esme's feelings. I shook my head, trying to stay optimistic. Esme has dealt with difficult people before. I know she can handle herself.

Alice and I came to Horizon earlier than the others and visited with some of the other residents. Once Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie arrived, we went with them to Jasper's room. I wanted to be there so I could keep an eye on things. Alice led the way down the hall, Rosalie and Emmett following her, and Esme and I bringing up the rear. "Do you think he'll like the brownies?" Esme asked me for the tenth time today.

I put my arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. "Of course he will," I reassured her yet again.

Alice knocked once, then barged in before Jasper could open the door. I tried not to wince as I followed Rosalie and Emmett in, Esme entering behind me. "Hey Jasper," Alice chirped.

I finally got a glimpse of Jasper. He looked a little overwhelmed with all of us there, but he didn't seem annoyed that Alice had waltzed into his room without his permission. That was promising. "Hi," Jasper said to Alice.

"Hi Jasper," Rosalie said.

"Hey," Emmett added.

Jasper gave them a nod. "Hello Jasper," I greeted him. "This is my wife, Esme."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen," Jasper said, and for some reason I was surprised by his polite tone.

Maybe it was because I had never heard him use it before. Or maybe I was surprised that he had put forth the effort to try and be polite. This was very promising, indeed. Esme smiled and I could sense she wanted to move forward and hug him, so I squeezed her hand to remind her not to. "Please, call me Esme," she said lightly.

I watched as Jasper's uncertain eyes shifted to Alice. She smiled at him, and he looked back at Esme and gave her a noncommittal nod. Esme seemed to take this as encouragement. She smiled, taking a step forward, and handed Jasper the container of brownies she made last night. Jasper seemed to reach for it automatically but his brow was furrowed in confusion when he looked at Esme. "They're brownies," Esme answered his unspoken question. "I thought you would like some homemade food."

Jasper appeared at a loss for words. I cocked my head, slightly surprised when he looked at Alice again for direction on what to do. "Do you like brownies?" Alice asked him.

Jasper nodded. "Thank you," he said to Esme.

Esme beamed at him and I could tell it made Jasper uncomfortable, because he looked away. "What's this?" Rosalie asked, picking up a book lying open on Jasper's bed.

"A book," Jasper replied.

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or groan as Rosalie's eyes flashed. Why was it that even once they were adults, siblings couldn't resist baiting one another? Emmett and Edward were the same way. Esme and I exchanged a look, and I knew she had the same thought I did. Alice went over and stood next to Jasper's chair, nudging him gently with her elbow. "Hey, it's not just any book. I picked that out for you," she teased.

Jasper's eyes seemed brighter when he looked at Alice. "Right."

Turning to Rosalie, he said, "A book Alice picked out for me."

I waited for Rosalie to lose her temper with her brother. Before she could, Emmett laughed. His big, booming laugh filled the room. Alice started giggling, and I could feel my lips curving upwards. Esme and, finally, Rosalie smiled as well. Jasper didn't smile, but the tension that had been present in his body since we entered his room seemed to dissipate.

Alice walked over to Rosalie and they started looking at and talking about the stack of books on Jasper's shelf. Emmett went over to Jasper and tried wheedling a brownie out of him. He probably would have succeeded, too, but Rosalie overheard and lightly hit Emmett, telling him to stop stealing her brother's food. Jasper looked at Rosalie with an unreadable look in his eyes when she said that, until Alice asked him a question and he focused his attention on her.

Esme slipped her hand in mind. I looked down at her and smiled at her happy expression as she watched the kids interacting. "This is good," she said softly.

I was hopeful as well. "Yes, it is."

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**Bella POV**

"_And everyone's there visiting him right now_," Edward complained.

I was talking to him on my cell phone as I ran errands downtown. "I really think you're making too much of this," I said. "Be nice."

Edward sighed. "Easy for you to say, my kind-hearted Bella."

I felt my heart melt a little at his words. Sometimes I still had trouble believing someone as amazing as Edward thought that _I_ was wonderful. "_Class is about to start. I'll talk to you after. I love you_."

"I love you."

I clicked the end button and continued walking briskly down the street. "Watch out!" a woman exclaimed as I walked into her young child.

I quickly stepped back. I hadn't seen the kid there. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" I called after her, but she hurried away with her arm around her son and didn't look back.

The incident fading quickly from my mind – I've been clumsy my whole life, and these types of things happen frequently – I started thinking about what Edward had said. Is he right? Is Alice too excited about this Jasper guy? I may live with Alice, but I haven't seen her much lately. I feel like we've both been running around on opposite schedules. I haven't even gotten a chance to ask her about Jasper.

My phone rang, interrupting my thoughts. It was still clutched in my hand. I frowned slightly when I saw it was a blocked call. This isn't uncommon in my line of work, but I find it irritating all the same. "Hello, this is Bella Swan," I answered it.

I came to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk as an unfamiliar voice said, "_Bella Swan_, _you'll stop looking into Laurent LaFleur's case if you don't want to get hurt. Consider this your one and only warning_."

"Who is this?" I demanded, but he had already ended the call.

I stood still on the sidewalk, staring at my phone, as people walked around me. It had to be Laurent calling and using a micro voice disguiser so I couldn't identify him. I've been talking to people who know Laurent ever since Billy assigned me the case. My plan is to put together a timeline of where Laurent has lived over the past five years and who he's been in contact with. I think it will be the best way to figure out what other children he may have harmed.

I started walking down the street again, putting my phone in my purse. One of the people I interviewed must have told Laurent. And if he was worried enough to call me with such a clichéd threat, he must think I'm going to find something. My step quickened and I felt lighter at the thought. A ridiculous phone call with a vague threat wasn't going to deter me, and I must be on the right track of Laurent is worried.

The next night, Alice and I were finally in the same place at the same time. We were having dinner together at our apartment. "So how's the case going?" Alice asked as we started eating our salads.

I smiled. Alice and I have been best friends since we were ten years old. She knows me better than anyone (except Edward). Alice knows how important this case is to me. It's my chance to prove myself but more importantly it's a chance for me to really help someone, to stop a monster. "I think it's going well so far," I replied.

I hesitated a moment, then decided to tell Alice about the phone call. I hadn't told anyone else; Edward would overreact and it wasn't a big deal, so I hadn't bothered to tell Billy or Jacob or anyone else at work. Still, it would be nice to hear another opinion. And I can trust Alice not to tell anyone. "Actually, I think I'm getting closer to discovering something," I added.

Alice leaned in, her eyes wide on my face. "Really? What?"

"I don't know yet," I said.

I proceeded to tell Alice about the anonymous phone call I had received. "Bella, you shouldn't keep something like this to yourself," Alice said once I had finished.

"I'm telling you," I pointed out.

Alice raised an eyebrow. I sighed. "I don't want to tell Edward. You know how he is."

Alice gave a little laugh. "He is prone to overreaction. You should tell Billy."

Billy is my boss at Black Listed. He's also best friends with my dad. "I don't want to tell Billy and make a big deal out of this," I argued. "I know he'll tell Dad. The call itself wasn't even really threatening. It was trying to be, but it was laughable."

Alice pursed her lips, thinking. "What about Jacob?"

I looked at her blankly. "What aboutJacob?"

"You could tell Jacob. See what he thinks."

Jacob worked at Black Listed, too. He was Billy's son, one of my best friends – and we had dated, before Edward and I got together. Edward didn't like him, but Jacob and I had remained friends. "Maybe," I told Alice.

I would think about it, anyway. I decided to change the subject. "So, tell me about Jasper."

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**Alice POV**

"So, tell me about Jasper," Bella said.

An image of Jasper came into my head, and I tried to think of a way to describe him to Bella. "He's very reserved," I finally said.

Sometimes he let his guard down around me. Every so often there would be a look in his eyes that showed me there was a lot going on beneath that calm, emotionless exterior he maintained, and I was determined to get below the surface. "He's always careful," I continued thoughtfully. "Like he doesn't want to draw attention to himself. But he likes when I talk to him. I know I can help him, Bella. He shouldn't be so sad."

Bella gave me an encouraging smile. "If anyone can, it'll be you," Bella said.

She always had faith in me. "People love you."

I hesitated ever so briefly, then asked Bella the question I'd been harboring these past few days. "Bella, do you believe in love at first sight?"

Bella raised her eyebrows, but considered the question a moment. "No," she finally said. "I knew Edward for years before we got together, and I can't imagine loving anyone more than I love him."

She looked at me intently. "Why? Alice, what's going on with you and Jasper?"

I blew out a breath. "Nothing. I don't believe in love at first sight either. I don't think. It's just…I don't know, Bella."

I thought of how I always felt Jasper's gaze on me when we were in the same room. How when he was unsure of what to do or say around my family, he would look to me for guidance. "There's some sort of connection between us," I said. "I've heard about him from Rosalie for years, but now that I know him, it's like I've been waiting to meet him all this time. Like I've been waiting for _him_."

I didn't know if that even made sense. I wasn't used to being so unsure. I always knew what I wanted. I knew what other people wanted. I made plans. My future was never uncertain, the way my past was; I made sure of it. I was almost positive Jasper liked me. He actually listened when I prattled on, and I think he seems happy to see me when I stop by. I like him, too. I want to help him. But I also find myself attracted to him, and I don't know if Jasper thinks of me in that way.

Maybe this is why, up until now, I've avoided worrying about men and what they think of me. This is all very unsettling. "Wow," Bella said, interrupting the thoughts swirling around in my head.

I looked at her and she grinned. "Now I really want to meet him."


	7. Let Me Talk To You

_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own _Twilight_.

_**A/N**_**:** Thank you to my new beta for fixing all my grammar mistakes. And thanks to those of you who reviewed last time!

_**Dedication**_**: **New chapter up for **MDealsWithIt**'s birthday!

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**Jasper POV**

I came awake abruptly, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat. Out of habit I reached out to the side, but when my hand grasped at empty air, I remembered where I was. There were no pill bottles sitting on the nightstand. I didn't have anything to help me numb the nightmare I just had.

It wasn't a nightmare, of course; it was a memory. Not one of the usual ones this time, either, but one I had almost forgotten about. Apparently I've done so many bad things that even I couldn't keep track of them all. I glanced at the clock and saw it was seven o'clock in the morning, which meant breakfast was already being served.

I sat up and rubbed my knee, trying to focus on the physical pain instead of the vestiges of my nightmare. I started doing physical therapy yesterday. My knee hurt like a bitch. I only sprained it in the accident, but the PT hurts just as bad this time as it did the last time. I shattered the same knee a year ago and once it was determined it would never get back up to one hundred percent, the government sent me to a Veterans' hospital Stateside. I had to go to physical therapy for six months until I could walk without a limp.

Now, six months later, I have a limp again. My physical therapist, Lucy, told me she thought it might be possible for me to eventually walk with only the slightest of limps. But that could take months. And this time, I wouldn't have any pain pills.

For the first time in awhile, I craved a cigarette. I started smoking when I went overseas. I've never been a hard-core smoker, and once I was popping pills all the time, I didn't often crave a cigarette. But lately I've wanted a smoke, and today I was really craving one. I wondered if I could even smoke in this place.

I got dressed and, grabbing a book, started walking down the hall to get some breakfast. I didn't pass anyone on my way and once I got my food, I made sure to sit at a deserted table in the corner. I opened my book and started reading, but after only a few minutes I could sense someone approaching.

I looked up and fought the urge to groan. Dr. Carmen, one of Horizon's psychiatrists, was heading towards me. "Good morning, Jasper," she said cheerfully.

"Morning," I replied, trying hard to keep my tone polite.

She sat down in the chair across from mine. Apparently she wanted to have a discussion. If she thought I would be more forthcoming in one-on-one than I am in group therapy, she would soon see she was mistaken. "I wanted to talk to you about therapy sessions."

I took a bite of my cereal and didn't say anything. After a brief pause, she continued. "As I'm sure Carlisle – Dr. Cullen – told you, therapy is an important part of what we do here."

Carlisle? It sounds like Dr. Carmen is friendly with Dr. Cullen. "Even though you don't participate," she said, censure in her voice, "Group therapy is important and so we would like for you to continue attending those sessions."

Why is she making it sound like I have a choice? "The time has also come for you to begin individual therapy sessions. I'll be your psychiatrist. We'll have a daily session, starting tomorrow. I'll work out the schedule with your group therapy leader, and with your physical therapist."

She looked at me carefully, but I didn't react in any way. "Fine," I finally said, hoping she would leave me alone.

Dr. Carmen looked frustrated. "All right," she said, standing up. "I'll see you later."

She walked away, and I looked down at my bowl of cereal. This news wasn't unexpected. The name of this place – Horizon Health and Wellness Center – made it sound like an innocuous rehab facility. Now that I'm here, I knew what it was: a mental institution. Sure, there are drug abusers and other addicts here, and therapy deals with their emotional and mental problems. But there are also people with PTSD and other anxiety disorders, and bipolar patients who have gone off their meds and get sent here. No one is violent, but some of the people with the mental problems have memory lapses. One guy, Benito, even has full-blown amnesia, or something like that – he often forgets his own name.

I wasn't sure what I was even doing here. I'm off pills. I thought I could accept that I was using the pills as a crutch, and I had to remember the horrible things I have done. It's my punishment. I didn't know what the therapists wanted me to say. That I was fucked up even before I went overseas? That I did what I did because I am first and foremost a soldier, and I follow orders? That I feel guilty because I couldn't save my men, or my sister?

I could admit all that. But it wouldn't change what has already happened. So what's the point of talking about it?

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**Emmett POV**

"Come on, babe, just a quickie before you go."

I came up behind Rose, who was sitting on a stool in front of her vanity and brushing her hair, and put my arms around her, kissing her neck. "Emmett, you know I have to go into work today. I have to get my classroom set up before school starts next week."

"It'll only take a few minutes."

Rose smirked at me in the mirror. "Oh, that's tempting. But no. I should have already gone in, but I've been so preoccupied – I have a lot of work to do."

"If you were a physical education teacher like me, you wouldn't have to set up a classroom," I remarked.

Rose rolled her eyes and wiggled out of my embrace, standing up. "No thanks. Women PE teachers always wear really unattractive clothes to work."

I nodded solemnly. "I see your point."

Rose hit my arm lightly, smiling. "Smart ass."

A little while later, Rose was gone and I was bored. I had worked out a little this morning, and was meeting up with Edward to go to the gym later. It's the middle of the day on a Tuesday, so everyone I knew was at work.

Suddenly a thought struck. Not _everyone_ I knew was at work; Jasper was probably at Horizon, doing his best to avoid everyone right now. I do kind of wonder how his physical therapy was going. I had to have surgery on my rotator cuff a few years ago, and the PT was pretty bad. And I knew the reason Rose had been so preoccupied lately was because she had been worrying about Jasper. Wouldn't she be happy if she knew I was checking up on her brother for her? Besides, I had nothing better to do. And Jasper was not that bad. Maybe he still had some of those brownies Mom made.

I got in the car and drove over to Horizon. Dad put my name and Rose's on a list that let us into Horizon to visit Jasper any time, not just on Visitors' Day. I walked in, stopped at the front desk to talk with Gianna a little, then walked through the lounge to get to Jasper's room.

To my surprise, Jasper was sitting in the lounge. He didn't look up from his book as I approached, but I could tell he knew I was there. I plopped down on the couch next to his chair. "Hey," I said.

He finally looked up. "Hey."

"Still reading, huh?"

"Yeah."

I squinted to make out the book title. _Drawn with the Sword: Reflections on the American Civil War_. "That's seriously interesting?" I couldn't help asking.

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you a teacher? Shouldn't you like learning?"

"I'm a gym teacher," I pointed out.

I stretched out on the couch. "Has its benefits, though. I get to play all day. Rose is setting up her classroom for the kids right now, but I don't have to do stuff like that."

Jasper didn't comment when I mentioned Rose. "I coach wrestling, too," I continued. "Wrestled in high school myself. How about you?"

I eyed him. "You don't look like a wrestler."

"Football," Jasper said.

I eyed him again. Jasper was tall, but he's lean. "Really?"

Jasper shrugged. "I lived in Texas."

"What position?"

"Running back."

That made sense. They're usually the smaller guys. "I played, too," I told him. "Wide receiver. High school and college."

"Yeah, I played in high school."

"You must be pretty fast."

"Yeah." Jasper looked down at his leg. "I was."

"How's the physical therapy going? I had a torn rotator cuff a few years ago, and PT was brutal."

Jasper shrugged again. "I had the same injury before."

I knew Jasper was sent home wounded last year, but I had no idea what those injuries actually were. "Same knee?" I asked.

He nodded. I whistled through my teeth. "Ouch."

Silence fell between us. Jasper didn't go back to reading, but he wasn't looking at me or talking, either. "So," I began. "Do you still have any of those brownies left? Not that I want to make you walk, with your knee and all, but I could go get them."

One side of Jasper's mouth edged up, which I'm pretty sure was his version of a smile. "They're sitting out on my dresser."

"Sweet," I said.

I stood up and started walking towards Jasper's room. "Don't eat any on your way back," he called after me. "I know how many are left."

I shot him a grin over my shoulder. "Who, me?"

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**Alice POV**

I left work as quickly as I could so I could spend more time at Horizon. Today was my usual volunteer day. I liked volunteering there, of course, and I was always happy to go. But today I was in a hurry because I wanted to see Jasper. I just saw him a few days ago, on Visitors' Day, but this time the others wouldn't be around so I would have him to myself. I have definitely developed a crush.

I rushed in, not stopping to chat with Gianna like I usually do, and entered the lounge. My eyes scanned the room until I saw Jasper sitting in the corner. He was holding an open book, but his eyes were on me. I smiled when our gazes met and continued heading in his direction. "Hi," I said.

I stood next to his chair. "Hey," he replied, closing his book. "I didn't know you were going to be here today."

"Today's my usual volunteer day," I explained. "I usually come in on Wednesdays, and sometimes on Saturdays."

Jasper placed his closed book on the table. "Do you want to sit down or something?"

_Yes_. But I have a responsibility to visit with some of the others. My plan was to talk to a few of the other residents and save Jasper for last so I would have the freedom to spend more time with him. "Well, I'm actually going to visit with Maggie, Dora, Liam if I can find him, a few others. I've been coming in and talking with people every week. I figured I could come back and talk with you later, I just wanted to stop by and say hi first. So I'll come find you later, okay?"

"Okay," Jasper agreed.

I spotted Senna across the room and went over to chat with her. After I sat down, I couldn't help taking a quick peek over my shoulder. My eyes met Jasper's and I gave him a wide smile.

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**Jasper POV**

Alice blew into Horizon like a summer storm. A quick flash, and then she was gone. She said she would come talk to me later, but I still felt almost annoyed that other people were getting her attention. It was hard for me to concentrate on my book when she was in the same room. I watched as Alice spoke animatedly with Senna. Alice must have felt my eyes on her, but didn't seem to mind. Every so often she would turn around and beam at me.

I like that she's so happy. She's like that with everyone, I know; Alice went from chatting with Senna, to giggling about something with Maggie, to gesturing wildly as she told Liam a story. And in her wake, everyone seemed more cheerful than they were before her arrival. But she kept looking at me, and smiling at me. And it wasn't the same smile she gave everyone else.

I wasn't sure what that meant, and it was probably best not to think about it. As Alice began talking with yet another person, I realized she really did seem to know everyone. I wondered how long she had been volunteering at Horizon and why she would choose to come here. Who wants to work at a mental institution?

A little while later, Alice finally came back over to me. "Hey," she said cheerfully.

"Hi."

"How's your knee?"

I hadn't realized I had been massaging it. My hand stilled. "Fine," I replied.

"Want to go sit in your room for awhile?"

"Sure."

I slowly got to my feet, making sure not to wince as I put weight on my knee since Alice was watching. I followed her down the hall as she chattered away about her day at work. We entered my room, and I sat on my bed, my back against the headboard, so she could sit in the one and only chair in the room.

Only – to my delight and dismay – Alice perched on the side of my bed, her hip brushing my leg. I thought Alice was beautiful, and I thought that I might like her. I had no intention of acting on that. But she was making it difficult when she hopped into bed with me.

I reminded myself she wasn't really _in_ my bed, and tried to think of something – anything – to distract me from how close she was. "Why do you volunteer here?" I asked, voicing what I had wondered about earlier.

Alice seemed surprised by my question. "Well," she answered slowly. "Because I can – I identify with – no one should feel like they're alone."

My brow furrowed slightly. Alice didn't usually stumble over her words like that. Suddenly she leaned forward, and now her words came rapidly. "When I was ten years old, I woke up in a hospital with no idea how I got there or who I was. I have Post-Traumatic Retrograde Amnesia."

Alice has amnesia? Or had amnesia? "You still can't remember anything before age ten?"

Alice shook her head. "No. It's rare for someone to completely and permanently forget a part of their life, but that's what's happened to me. I remember nothing before that day in the hospital. I was there, alone. No one ever came looking for me. My fath – Carlisle was my doctor. The family was living in Mississippi then. He was the first person I knew. The only person I remembered. And he, well, you know how he is. Of course he spent time with me, and tried to find out who I was. No one reported me missing or anything."

Alice's story wasn't a simple recitation of facts, but she didn't seem overly upset about it, either. "Dad was spending more and more time with me, and then one day he said his wife wanted to meet me. I agreed, of course; I thought he was wonderful, and so why wouldn't I want to meet the woman he married? Mom – I mean, Esme – visited the following day, and we took to each other right away. The very next day Mom came in again, and she and Dad asked me if I wanted to live with them. I moved in with them once I left the hospital. We moved to Washington almost immediately."

Alice smiled slightly as she remembered. "Dad started volunteering here, and I used to come with him sometimes. Once I was old enough, I started volunteering here, too. The people here who have memory lapses…I understand how they feel. So I come around and hope that I can help them, somehow."

I didn't know what to say. Obviously everything had worked out for the best. Alice's family must have been insane if they didn't bother to look for her. And though Carlisle and Esme make me uncomfortable with their genuine kindness, they are very nice and are probably very good parents. I was sure Alice was better off with them.

"It doesn't bother you?" I couldn't help asking. "That you still can't remember anything?"

Alice shrugged. "There's nothing I can do about it. I have a good life, and I love my family. I mean, they're the only family I remember having, but I really can't imagine anyone else."

Could anyone really be so accepting, and move on to lead such a happy life? Alice seemed perfectly fine with all this. "So Carlisle was your doctor, and Esme came in to visit and decided she liked you," I said, changing the subject. "Then they adopted you. Is that what's going to happen to me?"

Alice stared at me for a moment, looking slightly shocked, but then she started laughing. "You made a joke!" she managed to choke out.

She smiled at me delightedly, still giggling, and I felt pleased that I had been the one to make her laugh. I smiled back.

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**Carlisle POV**

Gianna looked surprised to see me when I walked into Horizon on Friday. "Dr. Cullen!" she exclaimed. "You're here earlier than usual today."

"Good afternoon, Gianna. I have an appointment with Carmen."

"She's back in her office," Ginna informed me.

"Thank you. I'll see you later."

I made my way back to Carmen's office. Her door was open. I knocked on it as I entered, and Carmen looked up. "Right on time," Carmen said with a smile, standing up as I walked in.

I kissed her on the cheek and we both sat down. "So," I said. "What did you want to discuss?"

"It's about Jasper," Carmen replied.

I knew it would be. Carmen is Jasper's psychiatrist. I told her a little about him when he first arrived, but only as much as I felt comfortable revealing. I knew that for Carmen to be able to help Jasper he had to be the one to talk to her about his past, not me. "He started his individual therapy with you, correct? How's that going?"

Carmen's expression turned frustrated. "Not well, Carlisle. He wouldn't talk about anything. I couldn't get through to him. And I don't know if I ever will."

I couldn't help feeling a bit surprised. "Carmen, you've only been seeing him privately for, what, five days? Isn't it a bit early to come to that conclusion? I was under the impression therapy was usually a long-term,"

Carmen held up a hand, and I stopped talking. "Carlisle, I've been doing this for close to thirty years now," she said. "Of course I can be wrong, but I'm usually a pretty good judge on how a patient's sessions will progress. Jasper has no incentive to open up to me. He's obviously a private person to begin with. He always guards his emotions and reactions, so I can't get a good read on him. I think he's just marking time until he gets out of here but once he does, I don't know what will happen. He may be off pills right now, but he still hasn't addressed his deeper issues."

I pursed my lips thoughtfully. "I don't think anyone, even his sister, could get Jasper to open up if he didn't want to," I said. "However, Visitors' Day last week went well. I think that when he chooses to, Jasper can interact with people normally."

Carmen sighed. "He probably can. But someone who is so skilled at controlling his emotions is a difficult case to crack."

I talked with Carmen a little while longer, and when I left her office I went straight to Jasper's room. He was sitting on his bed, a grimace on his face, and massaging his injured knee. "Jasper," I said as I walked in.

Instantly his expression cleared. "Dr. Cullen," he said.

I bit back a sigh. Every time I saw Jasper, he called me Dr. Cullen. And every time he said it, I told him to call me Carlisle. "Jasper, you can call me Carlisle."

As usual, Jasper gave me a noncommittal nod. "How are you doing?" I asked.

"Fine."

Jasper always says he's doing fine. I'm positive he hasn't been fine in years. "Jasper," I began. "Have you thought about what you want to do when you leave Horizon?"

Surprise flickered in his eyes. "You think I can leave soon?"

I cocked my head to the side. "Do you want to leave soon?"

"Don't do that," Jasper said, his voice tinged with irritation.

I was pleased he was showing any sort of emotion around me. "Do what?"

"Answer my question with a question. All the shrinks around here do that. I thought you were a real doctor."

I was delighted with his honesty. "I don't know when you'll leave Horizon, Jasper. I'm not your doctor here. But maybe you should start thinking about your life after this. You have the chance for a clean life now, Jasper. A new start. Where do you want to be? What do you want to do?"

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**Esme POV**

I looked up when I heard the sound of a door opening and closing. "Sounds like your father's home," I said to Edward.

I was teaching Bella how to make mushroom ravioli from scratch and Edward was studying at the kitchen table. How anyone could stand to read about and look at pictures of diseased bodies and bloody limbs while smelling food cooking was beyond me, but Edward took after Carlisle in that regard. It was all very clinical to them.

Carlisle walked into the kitchen. "Something smells good," he said, coming over and giving me a kiss.

"I'm teaching Bella how to make ravioli," I said.

I smiled at Bella. "She's doing very well."

Bella blushed slightly, and Carlisle laughed. "I'm sure she is, she has an excellent teacher."

I sensed, rather than saw, Edward roll his eyes. "Were you at Horizon?" I asked my husband.

He usually went in on Fridays. "Yes. I talked with Carmen, then I saw Jasper."

I smiled. "I hope they're both doing well. That reminds me, we have plans to go out for dinner with Carmen and El Monday night."

"I remember," Carlisle replied.

He picked up one of the mushrooms Bella was chopping and popped it in his mouth. "Carlisle!" I scolded him. "You're as bad as Emmett."

"Oh come on," Edward joked. "No one steals as much food as Emmett."

Carlisle and Edward grinned at each other, and I changed the subject. "I plan on going to Visitors' Day tomorrow with Emmett and Rosalie," I told Carlisle. "I baked cookies to bring to Jasper."

This time I saw Edward roll his eyes. "What's the big deal about Jasper?" he grumbled.

"Edward," I admonished. "Jasper is in recovery. He needs people around him who care."

Edward didn't look convinced. Carlisle didn't say anything, but he put his arm around my shoulders. "Jasper is Rosalie's brother," I pressed on. "You should give him a chance. Emmett likes him. So does Alice."

Bella's head jerked up and she dropped her knife. Carlisle and Edward didn't notice, but I looked at her curiously. Bella picked up the knife, looking down, and started chopping mushrooms again. I wonder what caused Bella's reaction. Did Alice say something to Bella about liking Jasper? It wouldn't surprise me. I noticed the connection between the two last week. Jasper needed a friend like Alice. Beyond friendship…I didn't know.

The next day was Visitors' Day so Emmett, Rosalie, and I went to Horizon. I knew Carlisle and Alice were already there, but we didn't see them when we came in. The three of us went straight to Jasper's room. His door was open and he was sitting in bed reading, his injured leg elevated. "Hey," Emmett said as we entered Jasper's room.

Jasper didn't look surprised to see us. He closed his book and we all exchanged greetings. "I baked you some cookies," I said brightly, handing him the container.

His lip quirked up slightly as he took the cookies almost shyly. "Open them up," Emmett demanded. "Mom wouldn't let me have any."

I shook my head, resigned, but Jasper didn't seem to mind sharing with Emmett. He bit into a cookie, then offered Emmett the container. "They're cowboy cookies," I told him. "Rosalie said they were your favorite."

Jasper's eyes shot to his sister. "Remember, like how Mama used to make them," Rosalie said, a slight twang to her words.

Emmett and I exchanged a startled look. Rosalie never spoke with any kind of Southern accent. I knew she tried to forget Texas as soon as she left the state. A moment only they could understand passed between Jasper and Rosalie. I was pleased. I knew they cared about each other. Now if only they could admit it to one another.

Then Rosalie turned to Emmett, and the three kids started talking. Well, it was mostly Emmett speaking, but I was happy the three of them were getting along. I could see Jasper was enjoying the books Alice brought him, as several were stacked precariously on the bedside table. I straightened the stack so none of them would fall to the ground. Then I saw the brownie container on the floor across the room. I crossed the room to pick it up and, discovering it was empty, put it under my arm to take home with me.

I looked up to find Jasper watching me. His face was expressionless, but his eyes were confused. It just about broke my heart. Hadn't anyone ever taken care of him? "Jasper," Rosalie said, sounding annoyed. "Are you even listening to me?"

Jasper turned his attention back to his sister. "Yes."

I didn't consider myself to be a vengeful person. I'm not the type to hold a grudge. But if Rosalie's and Jasper's mother was still alive, I would want to hurt her. I knew enough about Rosalie's background, both from her and from Emmett, to know what her – and Jasper's – childhood was like. What kind of mother could neglect her children that way? I knew it was because of that woman that Rosalie and Jasper are slow to trust. They grew up starved for love, and now they have trouble accepting it from anyone. It took Emmett, and then the rest of us, a long time to prove to Rosalie she was a part of our family and we loved her. I wasn't sure it would be any easier to convince Jasper. But I was absolutely determined we would.

A noise at the door brought me out of my thoughts. I saw Jasper look hopefully at the door, but when Carlisle walked in Jasper looked away. "Hey Dad," Emmett said.

He held out the container of cookies. "Want a cookie?"

Carlisle glanced at me. "Aren't those Jasper's?"

"Emmett has trouble grasping that concept," I said, trying to sound stern but, I fear, failing miserably.

"I don't mind," Jasper spoke up. "You can have one."

Emmett sent me a triumphant look at Jasper's comment, and Carlisle took a cookie. Emmett launched into a story about his college football days. We've all heard it before, except Jasper, and so Emmett was mostly talking to him. Just then I heard Alice's voice in the hallway. Once again Jasper looked at the door, but Alice walked by with an older woman and didn't come in. Looking slightly disappointed, Jasper turned his attention back to Emmett.

Everyone always liked Alice. She had a way about her. I was a bit surprised she got past Jasper's defenses so quickly, but I was glad she did. Someone as kind and trusting as my Alice would be good for Jasper.


	8. Open Up a Little

_**Disclaimer**_**:** I don't own _Twilight_.

_**A/N**_**:** Thanks to **Kathy** for beta-ing this, and **Karkoolka**for being my 100th reviewer :) Oh, and you can follow me on twitter at **luckyj525** if you want. Sometimes I tweet about this fic.

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**Alice POV**

First I saw Mom, Emmett, and Rosalie arrive at Horizon. They went straight to Jasper's room. When I casually passed by, I could see Jasper actually talking to them. I was pleased he felt more comfortable with his sister and my family, and I didn't want to interrupt.

Then I noticed Dad heading in that direction. But I still didn't follow. I told myself it was because I wanted to give Jasper time to get to know the rest of my family members; I wanted to give him time to talk with his own sister.

A little while later I watched as my parents, Emmett, and Rosalie left. Mom gave me a funny smile and waved as she followed Emmett and Rosalie outside, and Dad went into the room of one of his patients. As soon as my family left, I started walking to Jasper's room. It was then that I had to admit the truth, to myself if not to anyone else: I wanted alone time with Jasper.

I liked him. And I think he likes me. He may not talk much, but he didn't seem to mind when I babble on. He paid attention to me. He listened intently, his eyes never leaving my face, as if I was saying something of utmost importance. I think it actually made me talk more, because I liked being the center of his attention.

I knocked lightly on Jasper's door as I entered his room. He looked happy when I walked into the room. I did _not_ imagine it. He seemed glad to see me, and it made me smile. "Hi."

"Hi," he echoed.

Jasper raised the left side of his mouth into a little smirk. "I thought you forgot about me."

I smiled brightly. He was teasing me again. I was as certain as I could be that he rarely joked around with anyone. Jasper _must_ like me. I only wondered if it was in the same way I liked him. "I wouldn't forget about you," I reassured him.

I sat on the edge of his bed, just like I had the last time I visited. "What did my mom bring you this time?" I asked.

Jasper glanced to the side, and I saw a container on his nightstand. "Chocolate chip cookies. They're my favorite."

I was a little surprised Jasper was voluntarily sharing personal information with me. He usually seemed to operate on a need-to-know basis. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. _He likes me, he likes me, he likes me_.

"How did Mom know that?" I asked.

Jasper looked nonplussed when he replied, "Rose told her. She remembered."

I cocked my head to the side. "Really? I didn't remember Edward's or Emmett's favorite cookies. But," I said with a laugh, "I think Emmett loves all cookies equally. And all baked goods. Probably all food, really."

Jasper didn't give me his half-smile like I expected him to. Instead he was wearing a slightly distant expression. "We had them when we were little," was all he said.

_Oh._ I patted his leg. "That's sweet," I said.

Jasper's eyes went from my hand to my face. He looked a little bit startled. I wondered if it was because I called him sweet, or because I touched him. Jasper didn't respond to my comment. "It's nice that Rosalie remembered," I continued. "Don't you think?"

"I guess."

"Were you and Rosalie close as kids?" I asked.

I decided to try something. I placed my hand on his good knee as I waited for his answer. He immediately looked at me and I felt my stomach jump as his eyes burned into mine. Just as quickly, Jasper glanced away. I tried to suppress both a smile and a shiver. _He likes me, he likes me, he likes me_.

I didn't have too much experience with men, but I just knew he liked me. I had never felt this kind of connection before. My parents, Edward and Bella, Emmett and Rosalie; they were all so in love. I had never met anyone who evoked strong feelings in me, and so I didn't bother pursuing relationships I already knew wouldn't go anywhere. Suddenly, with Jasper, I was experiencing the attraction – the connection – I had been waiting for.

I looked at Jasper, who had determinedly fixed his eyes on the wall five feet to the left of my head. "I guess," he finally answered my question. "It was just the two of us."

He re-directed the conversation. "What about you and Emmett? And your other brother?"

"Edward," I supplied. "Emmett was fourteen when I met him. Edward was eleven. We got along, though. Technically we're all adopted. Emmett was always fun, and Edward and I are still really close."

Jasper looked surprised. "All adopted? But Emmett looks like your mother."

"Mom is Emmett's biological mother," I agreed. "But Dad isn't his biological father. Mom was married to this awful man. When she discovered she was pregnant, she found the courage to run, so her baby wouldn't have to grow up in a bad environment."

I frowned as I told the rest of the story. "But he found her a few days later. She made it to her car, and he got in his car and followed her, and there was an accident. He died instantly. Mom was rushed to the hospital – she was probably about three months pregnant – and Dad was her doctor. That was that. By the time Emmett was a year old, Mom and Dad were married and Dad adopted Emmett."

Jasper seemed fascinated by my story. Pleased that he was looking at me again, and that I had his full attention, I continued to speak. "A few years later, the three of them were living in Chicago. Dad's friend had cancer. She didn't have much time left, so Mom and Dad spent a lot of time with her. But she was a single mother. She made Dad promise he would take care of her son. And he did, of course. After she died, Mom and Dad adopted Edward. He was about three, I think."

"And then eight years later, they adopted you," Jasper finished my story.

I smiled softly. "Yes. You know, my first memory is of a blonde man."

"Carlisle."

I shrugged. "Probably. It's kind of a blur. I was on medication, and I was confused. I woke up and didn't know where I was or what had happened. I remembered seeing the fuzzy outline of a blonde man, and suddenly I felt safe. I looked out the window and fell back asleep. The next time I woke up everything was much clearer. That was when I met Dad – officially, I mean."

I eyed Jasper, then casually added, "Maybe that's why I've always liked blondes."

To my disappointment, Jasper kept talking as if he hadn't heard me. "So meeting your father is your first memory?"

I hesitated before answering. I didn't often think of when I first woke up in the hospital, and trying to explain such a confusing time for me was always difficult. "I guess so. It's the first very clear memory I have. But I have that first blurred image, too. And I – it's hard to keep straight," I confessed. "I have the fuzzy memory, and then I fell asleep and when I woke up I met Dad. But as I was falling asleep, I vaguely recall looking out the window."

I thought back to that night. "I was in Mississippi, did I mention that? The hospital was in the middle of nowhere. It was dark outside, definitely nighttime. But the night was clear, and I could see the stars. It helped to calm me down. I didn't know where I was and I couldn't remember where I had come from, but I knew I had seen stars before. I could pick out the Big Dipper. And if I could remember one thing –"

"– then you could remember other things," Jasper finished quietly.

I gave him a small smile. "It didn't work out like that, obviously. But at that moment I thought it would, and it made me feel better."

I paused, lost in thought. I didn't often go down memory lane, probably because my road was so much shorter than most other people's. "I still like looking at the stars," I said thoughtfully, more to myself than to Jasper. "It still relaxes me. I guess that's why."

My hand was resting on Jasper's leg. I was brought out of my reverie when he lightly placed his hand over mine. "I'm sorry," he said.

I looked at him, surprised. He seemed worried. "I didn't mean to make you sad," he added.

I blinked once, slowly. "I'm always glad that I can actually remember something."

I turned my hand over and laced my fingers through his. His hand was rough, callused. Jasper didn't pull his hand away; he didn't move it at all, actually, as I spoke again. "Don't worry. I'm not sad."

_I like him, I like him, I like him_.

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**Bella POV**

"I'm just going to run to that place down the block," Edward told me.

"Perfect. I should be ready for them then," I said, giving him a quick kiss.

He left my apartment. Edward and I were making dinner but I had forgotten to buy tomatoes. He offered to go out and get them, which I was only too happy to take him up on. My case had been distracting me a lot lately. I didn't want to talk about it to Edward so I tried not to think about it when I was around him, but the threatening phone calls haven't stopped. They've increased, in fact, and now I get them every day.

The threat itself was laughable, just a disguised voice over the phone, spouting some line about being careful before I went too far. I finally told Billy and Jacob about it a few days ago. Jacob seemed concerned, but Billy said there wasn't much we could do. I had made him promise not to tell my father, which meant we couldn't involve any cops. And the man calling me hasn't actually done anything. I just didn't want to tell Edward or my dad. I knew both of them would overreact. I was sure it was Laurent calling me, and he wasn't going to get me off the case. Yesterday I uncovered some new information about Laurent that was making me think he was more than a lone child molester. I couldn't stop investigating until I had found out more.

Alice walked into the kitchen and got something to drink out of the refrigerator. "Hey," I said, glad for the distraction.

She had been working in her bedroom when Edward and I started making dinner. "Hey," she replied. "How's the case going? Any more phone calls?"

I blew out a breath. Trust Alice to know what was on my mind. "Yes," I confessed.

Alice, looking concerned, opened her mouth. I quickly cut her off before she could say anything. "It's the same old thing. And I told Billy and Jacob about it, and Billy said there was nothing we could do about it unless it got worse."

Alice closed her mouth, but she still looked unconvinced. "How's Jasper?" I asked hastily, wanting to change the subject. "You saw him yesterday, right?"

Alice smiled a little. She hoisted herself up on the kitchen counter and took a drink from her glass. "Yes. It was Visitors' Day, so Mom, Emmett, and Rosalie came in to visit him."

"Oh."

I had heard Rosalie had already gotten into a fight with her brother, at least once that I knew of. It hadn't surprised me. "How did that go?" I asked skeptically.

Alice raised a brow at my tone. "Fine. Good, actually. I think Jasper likes Mom."

Esme was sweet, kind, loving. How could anyone not like her? "So," I continued, remembering what Alice had said about her feelings for Jasper the last time I talked to her about him, "Are you and Jasper friends now, or…"

I trailed off when the front door opened and Edward walked in. "That was fast," I said, walking over to take the bag of tomatoes out of his hands.

Edward gave me a kiss. "I only went down the block," he reminded me.

He held up a large envelope. "What's this?"

I looked from Edward to Alice, confused, but she seemed as puzzled as I was. "I didn't bring it in," Alice said.

"It was taped to the door," Edward explained. "But it wasn't there when I left."

I went to the door and made sure the lock was secured. I looked out the peephole, but no one was in the hall. "That's weird," I said. "You weren't gone long. Who's it from?"

Edward handed me the envelope. I stared down at it. It only had my name, BELLA SWAN, printed in large block letters on the front. With a growing sense of dread, I ripped open the envelope. "Ow!" I exclaimed as the flap sliced my finger.

I dropped the envelope and brought my finger to my mouth to suck the blood. "Paper cut," I said to Edward, who was looking at me with concern.

"Bella," Alice said, her voice nervous.

I looked at Alice, but she was staring at the ground. I followed her gaze and saw the contents of the envelope had spilled out onto the floor. I bent over to pick it all up when I noticed what it was: photographs. And they were all of me. "Bella, what is this?" Edward asked sharply.

I hastily grabbed the pictures and, straightening, placed them on the counter. "Oh my gosh, Bella," Alice breathed. "They're all of you."

Me walking down the street. Me talking on my cell phone. Me outside my office building. Me outside my apartment building. Me getting into a cab. "Bella," Edward repeated anxiously.

I couldn't reassure him. All I could do was stare at the photos that were now spread all over the counter. Someone had been following me. Stalking my every move. He knew where I lived, where I worked. "Bella," Alice said.

Then, more firmly, "Bella!"

I looked up to find Alice looking at me, worry in her eyes. "Call Billy."

Of course. Of course it was Laurent doing this, trying to scare me. Was he really so desperate to avoid jail? Or was this because the people he worked for – "Billy? Bella, what's going on?" Edward demanded, breaking into my whirling thoughts.

I looked at his confused and concerned face, and I reached forward to hold his hand. I knew I had to tell him what had been going on. "Edward, I've – I've been getting some phone calls lately."

I quickly explained what had been going on, and when I was done Edward looked ready to blow a gasket. "You've been keeping this from me all this time?" he asked.

I couldn't tell if he was angry, hurt, or worried. It was most likely a combination of the three. "Edward – " I started, wanting to explain somehow, but Alice interrupted.

"Bella. You have to call Billy. You have to tell him it's escalated."

I knew she was right. "Okay."

I took my phone out of my pocket and, walking into the next room, dialed Billy's number. As I spoke to Billy, I could hear Edward and Alice arguing in the kitchen. I ran through what had just happened with Billy, and he told me we would sleep on it and talk in the morning. I carelessly threw my phone on the couch and went back into the kitchen. Edward was mad at Alice for not telling him about the threatening phone calls. "Edward, it's not Alice's fault," I interrupted. "She wanted me to tell you, or Billy, or – anyone. I just didn't think it warranted all the concern."

Edward's jaw clenched. "Did Jacob know about this?"

Oh, that wasn't good. I knew Edward had a problem with my friendship with Jacob. "No – I mean, yes, he knew, but it wasn't like – everyone at work knows, Edward, I had to tell them."

"I see," he said stiffly.

"I'm going to go," Alice said.

She grabbed her computer and her purse, and quickly left the apartment. I sighed. I was glad Alice was giving us privacy, but how could I make Edward understand?

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**Jasper POV **

I looked up in surprise when someone knocked at my door. Who would be bothering me now? It was almost time for dinner, but not yet. I shuffled over to the door, my knee aching from the physical therapy session I'd had less than two hours before, and when I opened it I found Alice standing on the other side. She smiled brightly at me and I couldn't help but give her a small smile in return. "I didn't know you were coming in today," were the first words out of my mouth.

_Smooth, Whitlock_. I stepped aside. "I mean, come in."

Alice moved past me gracefully. "Thanks. You don't mind me stopping by, do you? I need a quiet place to get some work done."

I noticed the laptop case in her hand. "Edward and Bella are at our apartment, and they're arguing, and there's too much going on for me to concentrate."

She stopped talking, as if she was expecting me to say something. Was she waiting for my permission to stay? I would think my answer would be obvious. "You can work here," I said. "I like when you're around."

Alice beamed at me. "Great!"

She sat in the chair near my bed and I tried not to look disappointed. Alice took out her computer. I suppose she couldn't sit on the edge of my bed like she's been doing, if she's balancing a computer on her lap. I sat on my bed and picked up the book I had been reading before Alice arrived, and she turned on her laptop.

But I couldn't pay attention to the words with Alice sitting there. She was all I had been thinking about since her visit yesterday. I might choose to isolate myself from people, but that doesn't mean I don't understand them, or that I can't read them. And yesterday I had realized that Alice liked me.

I'm sure she's an affectionate person; cheerful, happy people usually are. But she put her hand a little too high on my leg yesterday for someone who's just a friend. Not that I complained about it. Alice is beautiful and sexy, but she's more than that; I feel good just by being around her. Even after everything she's gone through, she's happy. Maybe that's Esme's influence. Alice didn't say it straight out, but it sounded like Emmett's biological father was abusive. I can't imagine anyone wanting to hurt someone as gentle as Esme, but then I suppose I'm not that type of monster. _I'm a whole different kind_.

I never would have guessed Esme had a painful past. She, too, seems happy and good. She and Alice deserve the lives they have now. And so I didn't know why Alice would like someone like me. I could understand Alice wanting to help me, or to be my friend – even if I'm undeserving – because she's truly a good person, and I'm obviously damaged goods. I'm relatively certain nice people like to help the less fortunate.

But helping me, even wanting me as a friend, is different from _liking_ me. At first I thought it was all on my end. I felt like there were some heated looks between Alice and I, but I thought it was just me wanting her. I never imagined she could feel something similar towards me. "What are you thinking about?" Alice asked, interrupting my thoughts.

I looked over to find her staring at me, her computer open on her lap. Still confused as to what I should do about Alice, I shrugged. "What are you doing?" I asked.

I would much rather hear her talk, than do the talking myself. "Planning a wedding," she answered, glancing back at her computer screen.

I wasn't quite sure what to say to that. "Oh. How's it going?" I asked, feeling awkward.

As if she could sense my discomfort, Alice gave me a small smile. "I'm just starting. It's going to be a big one, so I'm just jotting down ideas right now. I won't start the real preliminary stages for a few days."

"Oh."

Who knew that much work went into weddings? "I know, it doesn't sound like I'm doing much now," Alice continued. "But the ideas kind of come to me once I start, and I didn't need Edward and Bella distracting me."

"Are they always like that?"

I couldn't imagine anyone in the Cullen family yelling or fighting – well, except Emmett. Alice shrugged in response to my question. "No. Well – Edward's the moodiest, out of all of us," she confided. "And overprotective. He's just worried about Bella."

I didn't know much about Alice's roommate. "What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing's wrong with her," Alice reassured me. "It's just this case she's working on. I told you Bella's a private investigator, right? The guy she's investigating has been calling her cell and making threats."

That didn't seem like too big a deal to me. "And she didn't tell your brother about it?" I guessed.

"And he gets it in one," Alice joked.

I almost smiled in return when Alice sobered up. "Today it got worse, actually, so Edward found out, and – well, I don't know, I hope everything's worked out by the time I get back."

I had a good sense about things, and right now it was tingling. "What do you mean, 'today it got worse'?" I asked Alice.

"Just a little creepy," Alice clarified. "The guy's been following her around, I guess, because we found an envelope taped to the door and there were pictures of Bella inside."

"Pictures of her doing what?" I asked, unable to mask the sharp tone of my voice.

"Walking around Seattle," Alice answered uneasily. "Going to work, going home."

Well, shit. "And this guy knows where you live?"

Alice closed her laptop, folding her hands neatly on top of the computer. "I guess so. Yes."

Alice must have been able to see the worry I was feeling, because she rushed on. "There hasn't been any direct contact. He just must know Bella's investigating him, and he's trying to scare her off."

I didn't give a fuck about Bella's case. I thought private investigators spent their time following cheating spouses around. This doesn't sound that simple. "What does Bella think this man did?" I asked.

Alice briefly hesitated, then said, "He's a child molester."

Fuck. Who knew what kind of shit those fucks got up to? They weren't usually dangerous or violent towards adults, but you never know. "And he knows where you live," I repeated.

He knows where Alice lives. I couldn't help feeling anxious. He's been threatening Bella, and now he could get to Alice. Maybe phone calls and pictures are harmless; or maybe Bella receiving the photos now means he's decided to escalate. "I really don't know much about it, Jasper," Alice said.

Her voice seemed more soothing than usual. My worry must have been obvious. I tried to make my expression neutral. "I could – "

I stopped talking. I was going to offer to check the locks and security of Alice's apartment building, but I couldn't fucking do that because I'm fucking stuck here at fucking Horizon. "I could talk to Bella," I said instead. "I know about securing buildings. I could tell Bella the best way to check the locks, and some other security measures."

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**Alice POV**

"All right," I agreed.

After I told Jasper about Bella's case, he had seemed worried. I didn't think there was anything to worry about – I was sure Bella and Billy would come up with something – but Jasper being concerned was kind of cute and made me feel good, so I didn't mind. "Bella wants to meet you, anyway," I added.

Jasper looked slightly suspicious. "Why?"

I shrugged, trying to look innocent. He's smart. I'm sure he could figure out that I've talked about him to Bella. "I'll talk to Dad and see if he can put Bella on the visiting list," I told Jasper.

I stayed for an hour, kind of working but mostly talking to Jasper, before heading back to my apartment. The apartment was quiet when I walked in. "Bella?" I called, closing the door behind me.

Bella came into the hall. "Hey. Don't worry, Edward's gone, it's his night to volunteer at the hospital."

I made a face. "Still mad, or not?"

Bella shook her head. "I don't know. I think he's just worried. Sorry we chased you away."

"It's okay."

I gave Bella a hug. "Are you okay with everything?"

"I'm fine," Bella said. "I just – I don't know. Edward's really worried. And not just about me, but about you, too. I didn't even think about that, Alice. What if you're here by yourself and he stops by or something?"

"Bella, don't worry about me," I said firmly. "You're doing the right thing, trying to put this guy away. You can't stop investigating because of me. Okay?"

Bella nodded. "Okay."

I curled up in the corner of the couch. Bella plopped herself down in the recliner. "So where'd you go?" she asked.

"Horizon."

Bella raised her eyebrows. "Oh really?"

I grinned. "Yes really. I told Jasper what happened. He wants to meet you."

Bella looked confused. "Me? Why? Not that I don't want to meet him," she hurriedly said.

"I think he's worried. He tried to hide it, but…" I trailed off.

I didn't know how much to make of it. Wasn't a military man from the South supposed to be protective? That was the stereotype. It didn't have to mean he had feelings for me. "That's cute. I think he likes you," Bella said.

I certainly hoped so.

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**Bella POV**

"Jasper wants to talk to you about our apartment security," Alice said to me.

"Why are you so concerned?" Edward asked Jasper.

I shot Edward a glare and I saw Alice do the same. When Edward found out I was going with Alice to talk to Jasper, he had insisted on coming along. I knew Edward didn't like Rosalie, but Jasper had been nothing but polite towards us since our arrival. Besides, the answer to Edward's question was obvious: Jasper likes Alice.

When Alice first introduced us, I had noticed the long scar down the side of Jasper's face. It was impossible to miss. The scar, along with his carefully neutral expression and watchful eyes, gave him the appearance of someone who was always ready, always alert, and capable of violence. But when Alice speaks, he focuses all of his attention on her, and his eyes soften slightly. Suddenly he didn't seem so dangerous. Maybe Esme was right, and Alice would be good for Jasper. I knew Alice liked him and for her sake I was glad to discover those feelings weren't one-sided.

Jasper answered Edward's question briefly. "I have experience with this sort of thing."

"In the military?" I asked. "What were you, Army?"

Jasper hesitated ever so slightly, shooting a quick glance at Alice, before responding, "Green Beret."

Green Berets were Army, Special Forces. Alice and Edward looked as surprised as I felt. Alice must not have known about this either. But I realized that, after my earlier observations, this news probably shouldn't have surprised me. He didn't seem overtly threatening at the moment, but Jasper had the aura of a man who could end you if you looked at him the wrong way. "So," I began.

Jasper had been watching Alice, gauging her reaction, but Alice hadn't said anything. She seemed to be over her initial surprise already, and now seemed unfazed. She smiled slightly at Jasper, and his posture relaxed somewhat. At the sound of my voice, Jasper directed his attention back to me. I threw his earlier words back at him. "What is your experience with this sort of thing?"

Slowly, a smirk came to his face. "My experience is in finding weak spots and getting in."

There was a slight cockiness in his tone that hadn't been there when we first started talking. I looked straight at him. There was confidence and a slight egotism in his expression, but when I looked carefully I could see his eyes were slightly haunted. It was that combination that told me not only did he have experience, but he had been good at what he did.

In that moment I realized I had been right in my earlier judgment. Jasper could be dangerous if he wanted to be.

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**Edward POV**

I simply observed as Jasper and Bella started talking specifics about how best to secure her apartment, not paying much attention to their words as my mind wandered. I knew my sister, and I knew that she liked Jasper. I didn't like it, not only because he's related to Rosalie and anything that tied her any further to my family was, in my opinion, not something to be desired, but also because Jasper had an aura of violence. Jasper glances at Alice a lot, making me think he likes her too, but I couldn't get a good read on him. He's Rosalie's brother, but he's been polite to Bella and I. He seemed very reserved, but then he flashed that cocky smirk.

"And how far along are you in your investigation?" Jasper asked Bella.

I tuned back in to the conversation. I was curious about that myself. Bella didn't like to talk about her work; not to me, anyway. "This child molester – Laurent Landreau – was acquitted in court. The parents of the child he abused, the lawyers, everyone knows he did it, but no one can prove it. Now that the trial is over, the police really can't spend much time investigating any further. The family hired the PI firm I work for, and my boss, Billy, assigned the case to me two weeks ago."

Bella ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "I don't have anything concrete. So far everything's circumstantial. But two days ago, I found something that makes me think Laurent isn't just some pedophile out there on his own. I think he's connected to this organization that deals with trafficked kids."

I looked at Bella sharply. She hadn't told me that. I quickly shot a look at Alice, but Alice seemed as surprised as I was to hear about this. "You didn't tell us that," I said to Bella.

Bella glanced from Jasper, to Alice, to me. Looking slightly guilty, she said, "I don't like to talk about the details of my cases."

She tried to make light of the matter. "There must be something about Jasper that makes me feel open and gets me to talk."

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**Jasper POV**

I kept thinking about Bella's case. If this guy she's going after is part of a larger organization, especially one that deals in human trafficking, they will have more resources. This meant they have more to lose, and so they will risk more to put a stop to Bella's investigation.

That worried me for one reason: Alice. At least one person in the organization not only knew where Bella worked, but knew where she, and therefore Alice, lived. I didn't like the idea of Alice being in any sort of danger. I told Bella some things she could do to secure their apartment, but how would I know if she did it correctly? I wished I could go and check myself, but I knew I couldn't leave Horizon.

I was sitting in the lounge, a book unopened in my lap, when I spotted Alice walking in. I hadn't known she was coming in today. Catching sight of me, she hurried over. I was glad she didn't seem annoyed with me. Yesterday I had told Alice, Bella, and Edward I had been a Green Beret. I had never told Rosalie or any of the Cullens this before. Luckily, Alice hadn't seemed to mind I had kept it from her. I only mentioned it because I had seen Edward didn't trust me. I had hoped divulging that piece of information about myself would at least let him know that I did know what I was talking about. He didn't have to trust me, or even like me, but I wanted him to listen to what I had to say when it came to making sure Alice – and Bella – were kept safe.

"Hi," Alice said, coming over to me and sitting on the couch next to me. "I'm on my lunch break, so I can only stay a few minutes. I just wanted to tell you thanks. We did all the stuff you told us to do for our apartment."

She smiled, seemingly unconcerned. "Good," I said, then admitted, "Alice, I'm a little worried. If Bella's dealing with an organization – it's a bigger deal than if it was just one perp."

"Bella talked to her boss, Billy Black, about it. Billy thinks of Bella like a daughter. He would never let her be in any real danger," Alice tried to reassure me.

"I don't like that these guys know where you live," I said seriously.

Alice patted my arm. "We don't either, but it'll be okay. Besides, I'm going to New York for two weeks, for work. So I won't be around anyway."

I was a little taken aback. Alice was leaving? "Two weeks?" I echoed.

I was glad, in a way, that she would be gone, because if something happened with Bella's case at least Alice would be out of harm's way. But the idea of Alice being gone for two weeks also made me feel unsettled. "Yes, two weeks. People from our firm don't go to Manhattan very often, so I have a lot to do while I'm there."

Alice checked her watch. "I have to get back to work. But I'm not leaving for New York until the day after tomorrow. I planned on stopping by for a long visit tomorrow."

She paused, looking at me expectantly for some sort of response. "I'll be here," I remarked.

Alice pressed her lips together, suppressing a smile. She nudged me gently in the side. "Tell me you'll miss me when I'm in New York," she teased.

I looked down into her smiling gray eyes, and couldn't help feeling a little bit lighter. I elbowed her back. "I'll miss you."


	9. 14 Days in 100 Words

_**Disclaimer**_**:** I don't own _Twilight_.

_**A/N**_**:** Thanks to **Kathy** for beta-ing this, and **realynn8** for her lovely reviews. Her story **Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance** was the first AH Alice/Jasper I tried reading, and I loved it. You should check it out.

The structure of this chapter is a little different. Next chapter will go back to normal.

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_**DAY 1**_

**Alice POV**

"Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be landing at LaGuardia Airport in just a moment. Local time is one-fifteen on this nice, sunny afternoon. Thank you for choosing American Airlines."

I looked out the window excitedly, bouncing a little in my seat. This was only my second time visiting New York City. And going for work was a big deal. Angela was a tough but fair boss, and by putting me in charge of this client she was giving me a chance to prove myself. I was determined to do well.

But saying goodbye to Jasper yesterday hadn't been easy for me.

**Jasper POV**

"Jasper, if you don't talk I can't help you," Dr. Carmen said, sounding frustrated. "It doesn't have to be today, but can we please have one honest conversation, at some point?"

I did want to get out of Horizon, and I probably had to cooperate to do so. I didn't have phone privileges here. I couldn't check the locks at Alice's apartment. "I miss smoking," I offered.

It had always relaxed me. "I didn't know you were a smoker," Dr. Carmen said.

I lifted a shoulder. "I smoked in the service."

Dr. Carmen looked thrilled I had finally shared something.

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_**DAY 2**_

**Alice POV**

"Alice, darling, you can get me this, can't you? I think I need it for the rehearsal dinner. Daddy wants us to have it at the club but, and Mother agrees with me, the décor just doesn't go with what I want my wedding to be like. It's so stuffy, and I want my wedding to be beautiful and magical."

"Fit for a princess," I agreed with Lauren, my client.

It was my job to give her the lavish wedding she wanted. Coming to New York to get Lauren the best of the best was the icing on the cake.

**Jasper POV**

This might do it. This might kill me. It wasn't the drugs, it wasn't the terrorists. No. It's the group therapy sessions that are going to do me in. These people whine and bitch and moan about their problems, and about how much they miss the drugs. Who doesn't? "Do you want to share anything, Jasper?" the group's therapist asked.

I shook my head. Then Dora, the actual crazy person in my group, spoke up, seemingly in defense of me. "Soldiers don't share their emotions, dear," she explained. "They're stoic."

Is it strange I like the crazy person the best?

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_**DAY 3**_

**Alice POV**

As I finished putting the finishing touches on my make-up before meeting Lauren for brunch, I realized it was Saturday: Visitors' Day at Horizon. Rosalie was probably there. I missed talking to all of my friends, of course, but at the moment the only one I could think about was Jasper.

I wondered if he missed me. I wondered how he was doing. I wish I could be there. I wish I could be the one talking to him. I should be the one getting him to talk; the one coaxing those tiny smiles out of him.

I missed him.

**Jasper POV**

"Hey, Emmett," I said after Rosalie and Esme walked out. "Can you do me a favor?"

Emmett stopped. "Sure," he agreed immediately.

Those Cullens were too trusting. Emmett didn't even know what I was going to ask. "Next time you come, can you bring me a pack of cigarettes? I'll give you money for them."

Dr. Carmen said smoking was allowed outside at Horizon, but I had to procure my own cigarettes. These past few days I've been thinking about pills way too much. I need a distraction. "I guess," Emmett answered doubtfully.

"Thanks," I said, adding, "Don't tell Rose."

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_**DAY 4**_

**Alice POV**

I couldn't stop smiling. I was at the wedding of one of Lauren's friends because Lauren said she liked a lot of the ideas used. The church ceremony had been lovely, and now the bride and groom were having their first dance at the reception. The couple was clearly in love, and watching them dance together was beautiful.

I wondered when Emmett and Rosalie, or Edward and Bella, would get married. I considered it a foregone conclusion that it would happen. I just know they'll be so happy together. I can't wait.

And some day it would be my turn.

**Jasper POV**

I was breathing heavily as I woke up, that last expression of the little girl that often haunted my nightmares burned into my mind's eye. I covered my face with my hands as, heart racing, I tried to steady my breathing. _In, out. In, out_.

This was why I _needed_ something to help calm down. I looked around. It was so early it was still dark outside. I thought of Alice. I wondered if she was enjoying New York; if she was thinking of me.

Of course, if she knew the things I've done, she'd run in the opposite direction.

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_**DAY 5**_

**Alice POV**

I applied lipstick, then pressed my lips together. I took a step back from the mirror so I could see my entire look. My understated make-up, combined with my professional yet attractive outfit, was perfect for today. I had a lunch meeting with Lauren and her parents at an exclusive restaurant. Lauren lived in Seattle, but her parents still resided in New York.

If pitched the right way, they could afford to give Lauren the extravagant, yet elegant, wedding I wanted. It was what someone in my line of work dreamed of. These types of opportunities wouldn't come along often.

**Jasper POV**

"And are you experiencing any more pain?" Carlisle asked.

I hesitated, unsure of how to answer. It went against every fiber of my being to give anyone the complete truth. "No more pain," I said after a moment. "Worse than last time, but…"

I trailed off, but understanding crossed Carlisle's face. Last time I had been on pain medication. This time, I wasn't. Obviously I was in more pain. That didn't mean my injuries were any more severe.

Finally, I couldn't hold back. "When can I leave?"

Carlisle looked straight into my eyes. "What will you do once you're out?"

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_**DAY 6**_

**Alice POV**

"And then her father goes, 'Anything you want, princess'," I said into the phone with a laugh as I walked back down the street.

Mom laughed too. "_Every girl's dream_," she said. "_Daddy lets you get whatever you want, and he pays for it_."

"Keep that in mind when I get married," I joked. "How is Dad?"

"_Fine. Working a lot, the usual. I believe he's at Horizon right now_."

"Has he said anything about how Jasper's doing?"

This prompted Mom to tell me all about visiting Jasper at Horizon a few days ago. I hung on to every word.

**Jasper POV**

It's been a day, and I still don't know how to answer Carlisle's question. What will I do once I can get out of Horizon? I don't have any grand aspirations or life goals. There's no dream job I want to chase. I'm not ambitious anymore.

I'm not anything anymore, really. All I am is what I used to be. I used to be one of the elite, a quiet professional. I used to be a drug addict. I used to be the guy who got the job done, no matter the cost.

I don't know what I am anymore.

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_**DAY 7**_

**Alice POV**

I came awake with a start. As usual I didn't remember what I dreamt about, but my cheeks were wet with tears and I felt awful; hopeless. I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. Bringing my face to my knees, I inhaled shakily. I tried to remember that I was fine. Whatever I dreamt about, it was just a dream. I was in a hotel room in New York, and I was fine.

_My name is Alice Cullen. I'm twenty-two. I live in Seattle._

I wonder if Jasper has nightmares.

_Jasper_.

I exhaled.

**Jasper POV**

Carlisle hasn't stopped by again. I keep thinking about what he said – it's not like I have much else to occupy my time around here – and I still don't know what I'll do once I leave this place. I'll need a job, I guess.

Once I was back in Texas and out of the hospital, I had been an auto mechanic. Rose and I had always played around with cars growing up, and I had been good at my job.

Maybe I could find a mechanic job here in Seattle. I wonder how Rosalie or Alice would feel about that.

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_**DAY 8**_

**Alice POV**

"So, how's the investigation going?" I asked Bella as I waited in line at Starbucks. "Nothing else has happened, has it?"

"_No_," came Bella's voice over the phone. "_Nothing's happened. Maybe Jasper's security suggestions have actually been working. I mean, maybe they've stopped someone from breaking in or something. I don't know. But, nothing's happened with my investigation, either. I haven't had any success in uncovering anything new_."

"Hang on a second, ok?"

I placed my cell on the counter, ordered my coffee, then picked it up again. "Ok, back. Sorry the case isn't going well."

Bella sighed. "_Yeah. Thanks_."

**Jasper POV**

"Hi," Bella said as she came over to where I was sitting in the lounge.

I was surprised to see her. "Uh, hi."

She put her hands in her pockets. "I was talking to Alice on the phone earlier and it reminded me, I didn't tell you – I haven't noticed anyone following me and nothing else has happened. I just wanted to let you know, and to say thanks."

I was glad to hear no one had been at her and Alice's apartment. I asked Bella what I wanted to know, but hadn't felt comfortable asking anyone else. "How's Alice?"

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_**DAY 9 **_

**Alice POV**

"_So, guess what I did yesterday_," Bella said.

"What?" I asked, cradling my phone on my shoulder as I rummaged through the closet to find something to wear.

"_Visited Jasper_."

That was unexpected. "How is he?" I asked, unable to keep the eager tone from my voice.

"_He asked about you_."

I felt a smile spread over my face. I thought about Jasper all the time, and it was nice to think that maybe, sometimes, he thought about me too. "What did he say?"

"_He said, 'How's Alice'_."

"What did you say?"

Bella groaned. "_Are we back in high school_?"

**Jasper POV**

"I'm glad to hear your physical therapy is progressing nicely. Have you given any more thought to what we talked about the last time I was here?"

Oh, you mean when you asked what I was going to do once I was out in the big city, unsupervised. Yeah, it might have crossed my mind a few times. "I was a mechanic in Texas," I offered.

Carlisle nodded. Then he glanced down at the book in my hand: _The Gay Science_. "You seem to like learning. You could go to school," he suggested. "The GI Bill would pay for it."

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_**DAY 10**_

**Alice POV**

It was Visitors' Day again at Horizon.

I was attending an engagement soiree of a friend of Lauren's family. Lauren, of course, wanted her own engagement party in a month or two. Normally a party on Park Avenue would be something I would look forward to, and I knew it would be both a nice time and a good experience. I would pay attention, and learn how to throw a type of party not often seen in Seattle.

But I was missing a chance to see Jasper. At least I could take solace that next Saturday, I would be there.

**Jasper POV**

"I don't know. Maybe," I said slowly.

Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, and Esme were in my room. It was Visitors' Day and Carlisle had brought up the idea of me staying in Seattle – and possibly going to college – in front of everyone.

At my words, Emmett and Esme both looked like they wanted to say something. But first they looked at Rosalie. Rosalie looked at me, her gaze level. "Would you really stay?" she asked.

I lifted my good shoulder. "Do you want me to?"

Rosalie shrugged. "If you want."

Her voice was nonchalant, but her hands were tightly clasped together.

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_**DAY 11**_

**Alice POV**

I had a few hours free today. I knew going into this that it would be a working trip, not a vacation, so I was very happy to have this time to shop. I think it would actually make my heart ache if I spent two weeks in Manhattan and didn't go shopping.

My phone rang as I was holding up a dress to my body in a mirror. "Hello?"

"_You better be buying me a really hot dress from Barney's right now_," came Rosalie's voice.

I laughed. "I am at Barney's, how did you know?"

"_Alice, I know you_."

**Jasper POV**

I've decided to stay in Seattle. It won't be so bad to live near Rose. It's not that I missed her over the years – I didn't let myself think about the past when I was overseas – but I never stopped caring about her, either. I sent her half of every paycheck I ever received so she would have some money for the life she both wanted and deserved. I thought staying out of that life would be better for her. But yesterday, I could tell she wanted me to stay.

I wondered what Alice would think of me sticking around.

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_**DAY 12**_

**Alice POV**

Since I talked to Rosalie, the news about Jasper was all I can think about. I didn't know what I thought he would do after he left Horizon, but I was happy he was staying in Seattle.

Of course I was pleased for Rosalie's sake. She would never say it, but I knew she was glad Jasper was around. But it also made _me_ happy. I liked him, and I'm sure he liked me. If he's going to be around, it will give me the chance to spend time with him and explore these feelings that I've never felt before.

**Jasper POV**

_Fuck. How did shit like this happen? No one would ever accuse me of being a saint – hell, no one would ever even call me 'moral' or 'decent' – but even I couldn't understand this. I understood the twisted logic behind it, but I couldn't believe anyone could actually go through with it. _

_Don't do this, kid, get out of the way!_

_The words screamed through my mind, but I didn't voice them. My face was stoic, as always. I could feel the man sitting next to me glance over, but I didn't acknowledge him._

I came awake with a shout.

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_**DAY 13**_

**Alice POV**

I headed to what was to be my last meeting with Lauren and her parents – the last meeting here in New York, anyway. By this point I had a good feel for what Lauren was looking for. And I now knew her father would pay for anything she wanted. It will be a lot of fun for me to plan. More importantly, Angela would be thrilled. A wedding like this will be good for our firm's reputation.

And it's _mine_, my event. I knew I would do well in this field, but now I'm really doing it. It feels good.

**Jasper POV**

It's pretty official that I'm staying in Seattle. Rose knows, Carlisle knows – even Dr. Carmen knows. Carlisle and Dr. Carmen are insistent I take my time and think about what I want to study at college. It may take me awhile to decide, because I really didn't know. I finished the books Alice brought me a few days ago, and Dr. Carmen lent me some of her philosophy books to read. They're interesting, but I liked Alice's history books better. I've thought about studying history, but I'm not sure how practical that is.

I wondered if Alice knows I'm staying.

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_**DAY 14**_

**Alice POV**

I was glad the seat next to me on the plane was empty, because I couldn't stop fidgeting in my seat. I checked my watch, smoothed my hair, crossed my legs, sipped my drink. My two weeks in New York seemed to fly by; yet at the same time, it felt like forever. I felt like Jasper and I left things as friends with a light flirtation. I think that could lead to more between us, which makes me feel happy and nervous and excited and anxious.

I really missed Jasper while I was gone. I hoped he missed me.

**Jasper POV**

I limped outside and sat down on the bench. There was a small yard at Horizon where we were allowed to go. I rubbed my still aching knee and took out the pack of cigarettes Emmett snuck in for me. I was trying to make them last, but sitting outside and smoking after physical therapy every day helped take my mind off my knee and relaxed me a little.

I clamped the cigarette between my teeth and lit it. I inhaled, leaning back, and then slowly exhaled after I could feel the burn in my lungs.

Alice comes back today.


	10. What Dreams Are Made Of

_**Disclaimer**_**:** I don't own _Twilight_.

_**A/N**_**:** Thanks to **Kathy** for beta-ing this.

To **twilightlover:** As far as AH J/A stories go, I would recommend reading the ones by **StruckUponAStar**, **Realynn8**, **MDealsWithIt**, **kem722**, **Simone and Marie** and **Inthemadhouse**.

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**Carlisle POV**

Alice lasted ten minutes before she asked about Jasper.

Esme had warned me, but I still hadn't decided how I felt about it. It's none of my business, I suppose, as long as neither of them get hurt. Esme is convinced Alice and Jasper like each other as more than friends. I told her I hadn't seen any evidence of that. My wife then responded with, "Just wait until Alice gets back from New York. Things are going to change, Carlisle, and it's going to happen fast."

I know a father is supposed to be protective of his little girl; maybe try and intimidate the boyfriend. I had certainly seen it between Chief Swan and my own son, and had found it slightly amusing. But I've never had to adopt that persona because Alice has never really dated anyone.

Alice has gone out on dates, of course, but never anything serious. She would joke and say Emmett scared them away, or that she was looking for someone as good as me. I had wondered if it was because of her childhood trauma, the trauma she didn't remember, but Esme and I had decided it was best if Esme would handle it. Esme told me once that maybe Alice was waiting for her Prince Charming; she hadn't thought it had anything to do with Alice's past. And Alice always seemed so happy, so I hadn't worried.

Now I wasn't sure if I should fret. If I did, was it because Alice might replace me as being the most important man in her life? Or was it because it was Jasper who finally made my daughter feel like this? Surely that wouldn't be fair. I'm not sure if Jasper likes me, but I like him. He's closed-off, yes, and reserved. But he doesn't lie. He doesn't say or do something if he doesn't mean it. I find it refreshing. Who am I to judge someone because he keeps his thoughts and feelings to himself? People are different. Some are open and friendly, others are more introverted. It's a bit extreme in Jasper's case, but I do think he will open up a bit more as he becomes more comfortable with us.

I glanced at Alice, who kept her eyes straight ahead. I had picked her up from the airport and was driving her back to the house. Esme wanted to make Alice dinner before she went back to her own apartment and unpacked. "Jasper's doing well," I answered Alice's question.

It was more or less true. He was attending his therapy sessions – the group, personal, and physical ones. He had decided to stay in Seattle and attend college. I had already started gathering literature from surrounding schools and talked to the Army liaison about the GI Bill so that when Jasper asked, and I hoped he would, I could help him. I knew I had put him on the spot with that one when I asked him about going to school in front of Rosalie, but I also knew it was a good decision for him. I reassured myself that if he really hadn't wanted to take university classes, he wouldn't. Jasper wasn't a man easily pressured.

I hesitated before adding, "Although, his mood has been a little bit off."

Alice's eyes whipped to mine. "What do you mean? Depressed? Do you think he's thinking about pills too much?"

It was a possibility I had pondered. Jasper's physical therapy was progressing well, according to the doctor. Of course, this also meant he was in increased pain every day. Normally a therapist would prescribe painkillers. If a patient had addiction problems, they sometimes still received medication – it was just less potent and carefully monitored. The equivalent to popping a simple Advil when one has a migraine. It doesn't help that much, but when you're in pain, some sort of alleviation is better than nothing.

Jasper had refused to take any pills. This could be a good sign, that he is taking the clean life so seriously. Or it could be bad, because it could mean he's thinking about and wanting pills so much that he's afraid if he has one he won't be able to control himself.

"Not depressed," I mused aloud. "I would say, irritable. I don't know if it's because he's thinking about pills. Maybe he's annoyed he's still at Horizon, maybe he doesn't like one of his therapists. It could be anything."

Alice considered my words for a moment. "How long has this been going on? I didn't notice anything the last time I saw him."

I signaled, moving into the right lane, as I thought about Alice's question. "Jasper has been like this for a week or two, I suppose," I replied.

Alice crossed her arms, which she always did when she was concerned, and looked out the window. She appeared to be deep in thought. I left her to it as I continued to drive.

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**Jasper POV **

I was sitting in my room and reading when someone shoved my door open. I looked up, prepared to snarl at whoever it was to fuck off, when I saw it was Alice standing in my doorway. "Hi," she said, beaming at me.

Suddenly the whole room seemed brighter. I stood as she approached and, though my eyes were on Alice as I eagerly drank her in for the first time in fifteen days, I didn't realize she was stepping forward to hug me. I stood in surprise for a second, but then my arms came around her as she squeezed me, and I lowered my head to silently breathe her in. I felt lighter, somehow; calm and peaceful. _Kinda the same way I feel after that first drag_, I thought, my lips quirking upwards as I realized I was comparing Alice to a nicotine high.

Alice pulled back, looking at me. "Jasper," she said, a smile playing around her mouth and her eyes teasing. "Are you smiling?"

My smile turned into a smirk. "Don't tell anyone."

Alice laughed. "It'll be our secret."

Her eyes ran over my form so quickly, I wondered if I imagined it. "Sit down," she said. "Want to hear about New York?"

I don't know what I expected her to say or do, but Alice kept surprising me. Anyone else would have asked me how I was doing – or worse, feeling. I was glad Alice somehow seemed to realize that I didn't want to think about myself, my past or my problems. I was desperate for distractions. "Was there a lot of tall buildin's?" I asked, thickening my Southern accent as I sat back down in my chair.

Alice giggled. "Why yes there were."

She started digging around in her purse. "I've been to New York before, but I still couldn't help taking some pictures. I'll always act like a tourist, I guess. I have some on my phone, too, if I can just find – here it is!" she finished triumphantly, waving her phone around.

Alice stood next to my chair for a moment, fiddling with her phone, then looked down at me. "Move your arm," she ordered.

Once again, I didn't realize what she was doing until after it happened. I lifted my arm automatically at her command, and she sat on the now-vacant armrest of my chair. "Okay, ready to look through the pictures?" she asked.

_I'm sure there's something better we could do, with you practically sitting on top of me_. "Okay," was all I said, aloud.

There was really nowhere for me to put my arm, unless I put it around her waist. So I did. I casually placed my arm around her, careful not to apply any pressure as if I were actually holding her. Alice didn't seem to notice or care, and kept up a steady stream of chatter. "And I know, I'm really not that great of a photographer, but at least I'm not terrible. Okay so, this is Rockefeller Center, which I've never seen during the non-holiday season, so I just had to take a picture to show my mom…"

Alice narrated as she showed me all of the photos on her phone. I paid attention, more or less. It's not my fault she's pretty and soft and happy and smells good and is sitting _so close to me_.

"And that's all I have," she finished.

She slid her phone closed, dropping it onto her large purse resting on the floor. Alice turned her head to look at me, our faces close together. "So did you miss me?" she asked.

I raised an eyebrow and didn't answer. Alice didn't seem bothered by my non-response. She brought her hand to my face, her fingertips touching the skin under my eyes. "You have bags under your eyes," she said, her voice softer and more serious than before.

I tried to remember to breathe normally as she continued with, "Are you sleeping okay?"

Her eyes were locked on mine, and I couldn't look away. What was this effect she had on me? "No," I answered her question honestly and without thinking.

But my response reminded me of the nightmares that ensured I didn't get much sleep. The nightmares that were rooted in reality. I had done those things. _I_ was the monster in the dream. I didn't deserve to be happy to see Alice, to have her smile at me.

I had to make her understand. Alice seems to like me, and I didn't deserve it. I wanted her. I liked her, and the way she made me feel. I'm too much of an asshole, and too weak, to do the right thing and stay away from her. But I can tell her the truth about me, at least, and I won't stop her when she leaves. "I don't get a lot of sleep, Alice, because I have nightmares."

Her eyes turned sympathetic, and she reached down to hold my hand. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

Damn it. I was not supposed to be feeling comforted by a tiny woman whose happiness was so bright it could power a fucking Christmas tree. "Sure," I said.

I couldn't stop the bitterness from creeping into my tone. "I've killed people, Alice."

_Why does she still have that sympathetic look?_ "Jasper, you were a soldier," she reminded me.

I started to get angry. Why was she making me spell it out for her? I couldn't look at her as I spoke. "Alice, you don't understand. I've killed _people_. Not always hostiles. Civilians, sometimes. Anyone who got in the way. People died around me all the time."

Her hand was still holding mine, and I rubbed my forefinger against her palm. "There's a callus on my trigger finger, Alice," I said quietly. "Do you know how many times you have to repeat a motion before that happens? And I'm very accurate."

I paused before saying, "Do you remember what I told you, and Bella and Edward? I said I used to find weak spots and get in."

My gaze cut to Alice. Her eyes were wide on my face, and she nodded. Just as quickly, I looked away again. I focused my gaze on the wall. "I would hunt people down, I would get to them, and I would kill them. And I was good at it. I ended up leading a fucking team of people like me."

I stopped, blinking once. There was no need to get into all of that. "But you can't always know who the bad guy is. Maybe I'll have orders to kill a guy. So I'll find him, I'll figure out a good time to get him, and I'll do it. But maybe his brother is with him. What would you do if someone killed your brother in front of you? You'd want revenge, wouldn't you? So then I have to kill him, too. Maybe I find a hide-out and kill every fucking person in the room. It's unnatural to look around an enclosed area, see ten or twenty or however many – because after awhile, you lose track – corpses on the ground and know that _you_ did all that."

I didn't add that while I might not know the exact number of people I killed, I sure as hell remembered their faces. Their last expressions. My emotions dark, I looked at Alice. Why didn't she look horrified? Why was she still holding my hand?

I ripped my hand away from hers and ran it over my hair, frustrated. Why didn't she look scared of me? "Do you want to hear about one of the ones I dream about the most, Alice?"

Her eyes were steady on mine. "If you want to tell me."

I let out an agitated breath. "That's a shrink line, Alice, you know that?" I said harshly.

She just shrugged. She _shrugged_. Why is she still sitting so close to me? "This one time we were in the truck. I was driving. We had to be somewhere by a certain time. Then we see this kid in the road. A little girl. She's right in the middle of the road, just standing there. I didn't slow down. She's staring at me. At the last second she dove out of the way, and I punched it. We don't ever stop on the road because of the bomb possibility, and this girl had been acting strange. So as I'm driving away I turned around and looked at her, and she's looking right at me, and then she explodes."

I felt Alice flinch. _Finally. She's starting to get it._ But it didn't make me feel any better that I was finally getting my point across. "It was a shitty little bomb, wouldn't have really hurt us in the armored truck anyway if she'd stayed in the road and blown it like she was supposed to, but she didn't. I kept driving, because I knew if she had a bomb there were men watching in the shadows of the buildings, and I was right. They came out, chasing us, but they were on foot and didn't stand a chance. One of them held a remote detonator in the air as he gestured wildly, shouting and running after us. He was the one that blew her up. He stood there and watched as a little girl died, and it didn't even matter. It didn't matter to him and it didn't matter to us, because her bomb didn't hurt us. Bits of her body were just splattered on the side of the road and no one cared."

I let out a humorless chuckle. "And she knew it would happen. She looked at me, right before it happened, and I could see the look in her eyes. She knew it, I knew it. And I kept driving."

I couldn't bring myself to look at Alice. She stood and, though I had expected her to leave, it still hurt a little. Then Alice surprised me for the fourth time today. She sat back down – on my lap. She turned her body sideways, her weight mostly on my good leg, and looked at me. I didn't know what she was doing. "Alice, you don't understand," I said, fumbling a little.

Alice took one of my hands and rested it on her hip. "I understand, Jasper," she said.

There was such confidence in her voice that I could only stare at her. Alice looked sad, but she didn't seem disappointed or appalled. "I understand that death haunts you. I understand you feel guilty about some of them – but not all, which makes you feel even guiltier. I understand that you think the things you've done make you a monster."

Alice shook her head. She looked so sad. I would say she was about to cry, but her eyes were clear; clear and sure. "But Jasper, do you think a monster would be haunted by death? Do you think a bad person would feel such regret, such guilt, such self-loathing? You must have seen the evil in this world by now, Jasper. Do you think they give the people they kill a second thought?"

All I could do was gape at her. Who _was_ this woman? I'm sure there are a million reasons why she's wrong, but I couldn't think of any. I couldn't think of anything, actually. My mind had blanked, and my heart was swelling. I wanted her to be right, so badly. I wanted to believe her. I wanted all this weight I've been carrying to lift from my shoulders.

Alice shifted. She laid her head on my shoulder and placed the palm of her hand over my heart. I lowered my head to hers and breathed her in. Whether deservedly or not, I felt lighter. It was then I knew what I wanted most of all: Alice.

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**Bella POV**

I wanted to get this guy. Anyone who hurts children deserved to be in jail. I felt frustrated. I hadn't made any headway in the case yet. Glancing at the clock on my computer, I saw it was after five. Sighing, I began packing up my things. I was just about to leave when something started coming through the fax machine.

I walked over and found some documents I had been waiting for. It looked like the phone records from one of Laurent's throwaways. I had been trying to get these so I could track down his associates. I picked up the documents and decided to take them home with me so I could look through them later tonight. Still, with the way my luck had been lately, I doubted I would find anything. "Hey Bella," Irina greeted me as I approached the elevator.

"Hi Irina," I said, trying to sound friendly.

It wasn't her fault I was in a bad mood. Irina worked with me at BlackListed. She and I were the only ones who worked for the company and weren't related to the Black family in some way. For those reasons, I had always felt a certain kinship with her. Plus, the Denali family is friends with the Cullen's. "Long day?" Irina asked, giving me a sympathetic look.

I smiled ruefully. "I look that bad, huh?"

"No, no, you just seem distracted."

Jacob walked up. "Hello ladies," he said.

The three of us stood together, waiting for the elevator. "How's the case coming, Bella?" Jacob asked.

I sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

We all stepped onto the elevator and Irina pressed the Lobby button. "Oh right, the pedophile case, right?" she asked.

"Has Laurent been bothering you anymore?" Jacob asked before I could answer Irina.

"No," I said to Jacob.

The elevator door slid open and we stepped out. "Edward!" I said in surprise when I saw him waiting in the lobby.

He smiled, walking over to me. "Hi," he said, giving me a quick kiss. "I thought we could get some dinner."

Then Edward spotted Jacob and Irina behind me. "Jacob," he greeted him with a terse nod.

Jacob responded in kind. "Edward."

Then he turned to Irina and I. "See you tomorrow," he said, and quickly walked away.

"I thought you and Tanya had class right now," Irina said, her brow slightly furrowed as she and Edward hugged.

"The professor had an emergency, so it was cancelled."

"Oh. Okay, we'll see you at the barbeque this weekend, right? Carmen's really excited; she has some new recipe she's dying to tell Esme about or something."

Edward laughed. "We'll be there. See you then."

"'Bye Irina," I added.

Irina walked off, and Edward and I got into his car. "Where do you want to go for dinner?" Edward asked.

"Wherever you want to go is fine," I said.

I put my stack of papers in the backseat. "I have to work after dinner, though, okay?"

"That's fine," Edward said, pulling out into traffic. "I have study group at the university library tonight."

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I had started reading over the documents after dinner. An hour later, I could feel my excitement growing. _Finally!_ Finally I was starting to learn more. I looked up at the sound of the door, and Alice entered the apartment. "Alice, I've finally had a break-through!" I exclaimed.

Alice dropped her purse on the table, putting her arms in the air and stretching a little. "Oh, really? That's great."

I was too excited not to share what I'd pieced together. "Laurent talks to this one woman a lot. Victoria. I think she's a messenger, maybe, a conduit between him and the organization. He's definitely involved in a trafficking ring, Alice. And now I can investigate that connection, and research Victoria, and – "

I stopped talking as it became clear to me that Alice wasn't paying attention. "Alice?"

Alice blinked, her eyes going to mine. "What?"

I frowned slightly. It wasn't like Alice to zone out while someone was speaking to her. "Are you okay?"

Alice sat down next to me on the couch. "Yes."

I cocked my head. "Where were you, anyway? It's kinda late to just be getting home from work."

"I stopped at Horizon."

My confusion grew. I knew Alice had wanted to see Jasper. When she got home from New York last night, she had been all excited to visit him the next day. "Did you see Jasper?" I asked.

Alice nodded, her lips forming a slight pout. "He likes me, Bella, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I do," I said, turning to face Alice and crossing my legs. "I told you, I think he missed you when you were in New York."

Alice crossed her arms, her pout growing more pronounced. "I know. I _know_ he did. He was happy to see me when I walked in, too, I could tell. And then it was like – it was like he realized we were both happy to see each other, and so he tried to push me away."

My brow furrowed as I tried to follow what Alice was saying. "What did he say?"

Alice waved a hand. "That doesn't matter," she said dismissively.

I bit my lip, trying to quell my naturally inquisitive nature. Clearly Alice wasn't going to share what Jasper had told her. "Maybe he's scared because he likes you so much."

Alice's expression cleared at my words, and she smiled a little. She leaned forward and gave me a hug. "You're a good friend, Bella."

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**Jasper POV**

Today was normally Alice's volunteer day.

I was sitting in the lounge, trying to read, but I couldn't concentrate on my book. I tried to think about Carlisle's visit yesterday. I had asked him about choosing a school, and the next thing I knew he was opening his briefcase and whipping out brochures and packets and a bunch of other papers on schools and how to choose one and how to pay for it. It was nice of him to find all this stuff for me, I guess, though I had no idea why he seemed to put so much effort into it.

It was a lot to think about, but I couldn't concentrate on that either. All I had been thinking about was the same thing for two days now: I had told Alice about some of the horrible things I'd done, and she hadn't run away. She hadn't even blamed me. Maybe it wasn't just her memory that had been affected when she was a kid, but her whole brain.

Then Alice walked in, and I felt that same light feeling throughout my body I had come to associate with her. She smiled when she saw me and headed in my direction. I stood automatically. I watched her face carefully as she approached, looking for any fear or censure, but she looked the same as she always did. "Hi," she said, giving me a hug.

Usually I didn't like getting hugged all the time, but I found I didn't mind when it was Alice. "I'm going to talk with some of the others and then I'll come back, okay?" she said when she pulled away.

"Okay."

Who would ever disagree with Alice? She beamed at me and then, to my shock, kissed me on the cheek. With a slight giggle, she rushed away.

I glanced around furtively to determine if anyone had been watching us. No one seemed to be looking at me – except Dora. When we made eye contact, she winked at me. I quickly averted my eyes.

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A little while later, Alice came over to me and grabbed my hand. "Come on," she said, tugging it.

I got up and followed her to my room. "What's all this?" she asked, seeing the papers from Carlisle scattered all over my bed.

I took a step forward to straighten them, but Alice waved me away. "Sit down," she said.

I sat in my chair, and she gathered the brochures and booklets. "Your father gave them to me yesterday," I explained. "It's information about colleges and, you know, all that stuff."

I didn't want to bore her. I was sure she and all her friends already went through the pick-a-college deal years ago, and know all about it. But I could never predict what Alice was going to do. Papers in hand, she moved over and settled herself in my lap again. My arm came around her waist to hold her in place. "So have you decided anything?" Alice asked; her tone casual as if we sat like this all the time.

I tried to focus on the words coming out of her mouth and not the way her lips were moving. Her face was so close to mine. "Uh, no. I don't know."

My hand came down over hers. I ran my thumb over the inside of her wrist, then snagged one of the brochures out of the stack she was holding. "I was thinking of going here," I said, watching her carefully.

Alice looked at the brochure in my hand. "The University of Washington-Seattle," she read.

Alice looked up at me, her eyes lighting up. "Really?"

I couldn't help but smile at her. "I want to stay here. In Seattle. I don't know, Rosalie and Emmett seemed to think it was a good idea. What do you think?"

Alice dropped all the other papers on the floor. "I think it's a great idea," she said definitively.

She laced the fingers of one of her hands through mine and laid her head on my shoulder. "Tell me what you're thinking of studying."

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**Rosalie POV**

"I see you don't bother cleaning when you know guests are coming," I said when Esme and I walked into Jasper's room.

It was Visitors' Day at Horizon. Jasper was lying in bed, reading, and there were papers scattered all over his room. "Rosalie," Esme admonished.

"Fuck off," Jasper suggested at the same time Esme spoke.

"Language, Jasper," I said with a smirk.

He looked at Esme, who was glaring at him, and apologized sheepishly. "Emmett's busy coaching today," I said to Jasper, explaining Emmett's absence even though Jasper hadn't asked.

Esme placed the cookies she brought him on the nightstand and bent over to start gathering papers. "Esme, you don't have to do that," Jasper said, getting off his lazy ass and out of bed.

"Jasper, it's fine," Esme said as he made to bend over and help. "Don't strain your knee."

Jasper stood helplessly for a moment, then glared at me and gestured towards Esme. I rolled my eyes dramatically, but crouched down to help her clean up his mess. "What is all this, anyway?" I asked.

I looked up as Jasper hesitated before saying, "College brochures."

"Oh good," Esme said. "I know Carlisle's been gathering information for you so you could make an informed decision when you're ready. How is it going so far?"

"You're really going to do it?" I couldn't help blurting out.

Jasper's expression shuttered. "You said I could stay if I wanted."

I hadn't dared hope he actually would. "I know," I said defensively.

There was a moment of silence that I refused to break. Esme finally said something. "So do any schools look better to you than the others?"

"Um, I'm thinking of the University of Washington-Seattle," Jasper replied.

I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. Jasper looked almost nervous, and he sounded unsure of himself. I wasn't used to him displaying any sort of emotion – unless sarcasm counted. "Where are you going to live? When you get out of here, I mean," I said.

Jasper shrugged. "Excuse me for a minute," Esme said, leaving the room.

I sat in the chair, crossing my legs. "You could stay with me and Emmett, but there's only one bedroom."

I grinned at my brother. "And we need it."

Jasper looked disgusted. "No way. I don't need to be around you two having sex all the time."

I laughed, but didn't deny it. I had known Jasper would refuse to move in with us, otherwise, I wouldn't have offered. "Really, though, where are you going to live?"

"I don't know," Jasper said, as Esme and Carlisle re-entered the room. "I'll find my own place when I get out."

"And when might that be?" I asked.

I glanced over at Carlisle. Carlisle looked from me to Jasper. "It depends on Jasper and the therapists, but I would say, sometime in the next two weeks," he answered.

"I'll help you look for an apartment then," I offered, feeling magnanimous.

Esme glanced at Carlisle pointedly at my words, and they exchanged a look. "Actually," Esme said. "I had a suggestion."

She looked at Jasper. "You could stay with us."

I smirked at the panicked look in Jasper's eyes. He was absolutely speechless. "We would love to have you," Esme continued. "And your therapists might be more willing to sign you out of Horizon if they knew you would be living with a doctor."

Carlisle chuckled at Esme's words. "We're not trying to bribe you. But, on a more serious note, my being a doctor could help you get out of here sooner. I would be right there if any medical problems arose. And you could look for an apartment while living with us, of course, but you wouldn't have to rush. You could take your time and find the perfect place for you."

My amusement faded slightly when I realized Carlisle and Esme were serious. They weren't just offering out of the blue. Clearly they had already thought about this, and had been waiting for the perfect opportunity to bring it up. "What about Edward?" I asked.

Carlisle and Esme have plenty of room in the house, especially since Emmett and Alice moved out, but Edward still lives there. And I didn't need that arrogant snob around my brother all the time. I was the only one who was allowed to make Jasper feel bad about himself. "We have plenty of room," Esme said.

"Edward's not around that much anyway," Carlisle added.

Oh, they're really serious. There's no way Jasper will get out of this one. I tried not to laugh as I pictured Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper sitting down to a meal together. Alice came in, distracting me from mental images of Jasper wearing an apron and helping Esme cook dinner. "What's going on?" Alice asked.

Her question seemed to be directed at everyone, but her eyes were on my brother. Jasper sent her a look of desperation as Esme answered Alice's question. "Jasper will need a place to live when he leaves Horizon, and your father and I were just saying how he should move in with us. We have the room."

Alice grinned at Jasper, and his eyes closed briefly in defeat at her expression. "I think that's a great idea," she said cheerfully.

I pressed my lips together to suppress a giggle as Alice, Esme, and Carlisle all looked at Jasper expectantly. "I guess that could work," Jasper said in reluctant agreement.

I couldn't wait to tell Emmett.


	11. Oh Starry Night

_**Disclaimer**_**:** I don't own _Twilight_.

_**A/N**_**:** Thanks to **Kathy** for beta-ing this, and to **kem722** for soothing my insecurities over parts of this chapter :) Sorry it took me so long to update.

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**Alice POV**

I went into Horizon on my normal volunteer day and spent time with the various people there, as usual. But nothing else about my visits to Horizon is the same anymore. I've crossed the line Jasper draws that keeps everyone else at a distance. I really think that right now, I am the person in the world who knows the most about him. I'm not sure how I'm _supposed_ to feel about this, but I know how I _do_ feel: I feel special. I like that Jasper believes he can talk to me. I think he trusts me.

I also think he likes me, and I'm equally sure he imagines he's not good enough for me. It was only a week ago that he told me about the little girl in the middle of the road. Jasper thought that after I knew about that, I was going to leave. I could see it in his eyes – just like I could see the confusion when I stayed. He's still trying to scare me away. He tells me stories about his past when I visit him, and every time he watches me and waits for me to walk out of the room. Hearing the pain in his voice and seeing the self-loathing in his eyes rips me in two, but I always listen. One of the reasons is because I want to get to know him better, of course, and that means I want to know all of him.

But I also listen because I think it's good for him to talk about it. I can see Jasper relax, little by little, when he purges these memories to me. I will do whatever I can to alleviate the pain he carries – even if it hurts me to hear it. I just want to hug him and tell him he doesn't have to worry about anything anymore, but I know he wouldn't believe me. So the best I can do is listen calmly when he tells me things that are supposed to scare me away from him, and stay put.

"Hi," I said cheerfully as I breezed into his room.

Jasper looked up from his book. His mouth didn't smile, but his eyes did. "Hi."

He was sitting in his chair, so I sat on the edge of the bed closest to him. Closing his book, he said, "I'm getting out of here on Friday."

A wide smile split my face. "That's great! I didn't realize it would be so soon!"

Jasper frowned slightly. "I think your dad talked them into it."

My grin turned teasing as I said, "So you're moving in with Mom and Dad sometime on Friday?"

Jasper's frown deepened as he nodded, and I tried not to laugh. I knew Jasper didn't really want to live with my parents. Rosalie was giddy over Jasper's discomfort, and had wasted no time telling Emmett all about the arrangement. Emmett had laughed, but I had caught the look of relief in his eyes. Emmett knows what I do – my parents are the best parents anyone could ask for. They helped heal me, they helped heal Rosalie, and I just know they'll be able to help heal Jasper.

I didn't think he realized, yet, that he wouldn't be able to shake us. Rosalie tried it once, back when she realized Emmett really loved her, but it was a half-hearted attempt. Once Dad, Mom, Emmett, or I let someone into our hearts, we do everything in our power to let that person know how much we love them unconditionally. Edward is more aloof, but once you break through his reserve, he becomes just as doggedly loyal.

"Good! Then we can see each other whenever we want."

I smiled slightly as I thought about Horizon's no-phones rule. "And I can even talk to you on the phone," I joked.

Jasper's face became expressionless. "Alice," he began hesitantly. "Do you think that's a good idea? I'm going to be living with your parents…"

I cocked my head, my eyes narrowing slightly as I tried to understand what Jasper was saying. I stood and, taking a few steps closer to him, perched on the arm of his chair. "They're not going to be your wardens," I pointed out. "We could hang out at my apartment – if parental supervision is what you're worried about."

Jasper met my gaze squarely, his eyes miserable. "Alice, you're – look where we are right now. Call Horizon whatever fancy names you want, but it's a mental institution. Only two months ago I was popping pills and trying to forget all the terrible things I've done."

I wondered if Jasper realized he had put his arm around my waist. "Alice, I'm not like you," he continued, his voice tinged with desperation. "I'm not a good person."

I knew there was nothing I could say to Jasper that he would believe. _Oh Jasper, you're really a great person. How do I know? I can just tell_.

He would never believe that. Instead, I slid sideways into his lap. I put my hand over Jasper's mouth and watched the unhappiness in his eyes turn to surprise. "Jasper," I said firmly. "You know you're more than that. I know you're more than that. I feel something for you, something I've never felt before."

Jasper wrapped both his arms around me. I took my hand away from his mouth as I added lightly, "And you really are crazy if you think you're going to get rid of me that easily."

I saw Jasper's lips quirk slightly at that. He buried his face against my shoulder. When he turned his head and kissed my neck, I felt a tingling deep in my stomach. Jasper nibbled on my neck, then used his tongue to soothe. I squirmed, once, and he stilled.

Jasper pulled away slightly to look at me. I leaned in to kiss him, but he stopped my movement by cupping my chin in his hand. I stared into his eyes, fascinated that their blue seemed darker. Jasper's thumb brushed my cheekbone. "Do you want to go on a date on Saturday?" he asked, giving me a small smile.

I beamed at him as I agreed.

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**Edward POV**

I scowled as I got stuck at another red light. It's taking me longer than usual to get to Bella's from school, but with the way my life has been going lately, that shouldn't surprise me.

Whenever I go to Bella's all she talks about is her case. She's wrapped up in it, working all the time, and she won't tell me anything specific about it. I know either she or Alice would tell me if someone was at their apartment again, so I'm not really worried. It would be nice if Bella would give me some kind of idea about how it was progressing, though.

Whenever I'm at home, I have to listen to my mother go on and on about Jasper. She's decided to redecorate the guest room to "better suit him". I'm pretty sure Jasper would be happy with a sleeping bag and a pillow on the floor, so I don't know why Mom's putting in all this effort. No one asked me if it was all right if he moved in. Between going to class and spending time with Bella, I'm hardly ever home, but still. I will technically be living in the same house as this guy. And tonight I have to sit through Jasper's "welcome dinner".

We didn't know anything about Jasper. I've learned – from Emmett – that even Rosalie doesn't really know much about what her brother's been up to all these years. At least, unlike his sister, Jasper seems to get along with Bella. I don't trust him, but as long as he behaves himself, there's nothing I could say that would convince my parents or Alice to leave Jasper to his own devices. I'll just have to keep my eye on him.

"Hi," Bella greeted me when I let myself into her apartment.

She was sitting on the couch, working on her computer, but she put it aside and stood as I walked towards her. She tripped over her computer cord and I ran the last step to catch her. Bella was blushing and I smiled; my arms around her. "Hi," I echoed, giving her a kiss.

After a moment we broke apart. "I'm all ready to go," Bella said. "Is Jasper there already?"

I shrugged. "I haven't been home. I came here straight from the University."

Frowning slightly, I added, "Dad, Alice, and Rosalie were all going to pick Jasper up. I'm sure they're back by now."

Bella rubbed a hand down my arm. "Be nice to him, Edward," she said warningly.

I heaved a sigh. "I will – until he screws up."

Bella frowned, but apparently decided not to say anything else on the subject. She grabbed her purse and we headed down to my car. The drive from Bella's and Alice's apartment to my home is not that far and before I knew it we were pulling into the driveway. Emmett's car was already there. I reluctantly started walking towards the house. Bella didn't say anything, but she slipped her hand into mine and squeezed gently. Immediately I felt my mood lighten. I didn't really want to be present to watch my family fawn all over Jasper during dinner, but it would be okay as long as I had Bella with me.

I opened the front door, entering behind Bella, and heard muted voices from the direction of the kitchen. Taking Bella's hand again, we walked to the kitchen. Mom and Dad were cooking and Emmett sat on the counter, eating pieces of bread I assumed were supposed to have been served with the meal. "Great timing!" Mom said. "Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes."

"Nice to see you, Bella," Dad added.

Bella smiled at him. "I hope you don't want any bread," Emmett said with a grin.

I shook my head. "Seriously, Emmett? You can't wait ten minutes to eat?"

Emmett waved a piece of bread at me. "Hey, you just got here. I've been here awhile now."

"I wish you would have waited, Emmett," Mom gently scolded.

Emmett jumped down off the counter and went over to Mom, hugging her from behind. "Everything you're making smelled so great that I was dying of hunger," he said, kissing her cheek.

Mom swatted him with the spoon, a slight smile on her face, and Emmett laughed, backing away. "Open the pantry door and look on the bottom shelf, Edward," Dad said, his eyes lit with amusement.

I smiled, immediately knowing what I would find. Sure enough, there was another loaf of French bread on the bottom shelf, pushed back into a corner. "Well look at this," I said, turning around and raising the bread in my hand.

We all laughed, including Emmett, and Dad looked pleased with himself. "My hero," Mom said, giving him a quick kiss.

"Culinary hero," I corrected.

"Who's a culinary hero?" came Alice's voice.

I looked over to the doorway as Alice walked in, followed by Rosalie and Jasper. I blinked. They looked alike. I knew they were twins, but I had never seen them together before. If Jasper didn't have that scar down his face and that aura of danger, he would be just as pretty as his sister. _Weird_.

I wondered if Jasper had been teased about his pretty-boy face back in high school. I smirked at the thought, then noticed Rosalie looking at me. She saw my smirk and scowled. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at her.

As if she could sense my thoughts, Bella tugged on my hand. I looked at her and saw the warning in her eyes. "Let's carry some of the food into the dining room," she suggested.

Alice helped, and the three of us brought the food to the table. Everyone sat down and dinner passed rather quickly. Jasper didn't say much, and no one went out of their way to question him and put him on the spot. He kept looking at Alice, who would give him a reassuring smile, and I didn't understand that at all. If I didn't know any better, I would say Jasper was nervous. But why would that be? Besides, guys like Jasper don't get nervous.

Bella stood to bring her plate to the kitchen, and my eyes narrowed slightly when Jasper immediately followed. I shoveled my last few bites of food into my mouth and hurriedly cleared my plate. I knew that Jasper intentionally wanted to talk to Bella alone. I had seen the flash of resolve in his eyes before he had followed her into the kitchen. And since Jasper hardly said two words to Bella during dinner, I was curious to find out what he wanted.

I walked down the hallway to the kitchen and stopped outside the doorway when I heard Jasper say, "If you have any more problems, let me know. I can come over and check it out now that I'm living here."

Had something else happened with Bella's case that she hadn't mentioned to me? Was she in danger? I took a step closer in order to better hear their conversation. "Nothing else has happened. I don't want Alice to be in danger either, you know. She's my best friend. You don't have to worry, everything's fine."

"Any breaks in your case?"

There was a pause. "Maybe," Bella finally said.

I frowned. Bella hadn't mentioned anything to me about that. "What have you found out?" Jasper asked sharply.

"I don't really want to say yet."

There was silence for a minute. When Bella spoke again, I could tell she was striving to sound casual. "Don't try and intimidate me, Jasper. I'll tell Alice."

I came into the room at Bella's words. She was standing with her back to the sink and Jasper was a few feet away. He was glaring at her, but when he noticed me he tried to smooth out his expression. Still, I could almost feel the frustration coming off of him in waves. "Jasper," I said curtly, placing my plate in the sink and putting an arm around Bella.

His acknowledgement was just as brusque. "Edward."

Without another word, Jasper left the kitchen. "What was that all about?" I asked Bella.

Bella looked up at me, biting her lip. "I think he's just worried about Alice."

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**Jasper POV**

My eyes flew open, the sounds of an explosion ringing in my ears. I immediately sat up, breathing heavily, before I realized it had just been a dream. I was in a bed in the Cullen house. I slowly eased myself back down and looked up. I didn't have the nightmares every single night anymore, but I probably should have expected to have one on my first night in a new place.

I stared at the ceiling as my nightmare faded away. Not just any ceiling – a ceiling in the Cullen home. I couldn't believe I got talked into this. Those Cullens might be nice people, but they're master manipulators. Either that; or I'm losing my edge.

Edward's not happy I'm here. I already knew he didn't like me, and last night I learned that Edward and Rosalie hate each other. It had been kind of interesting, actually, to observe everyone interacting with each other during dinner yesterday. Rosalie doesn't like Bella – I have no idea why, and I don't care enough to ask Rosalie about it – and that's probably why Edward doesn't like my sister. Rose doesn't like Edward, either. Emmett and Alice like everyone, and vice versa. I think both of them are closer to Edward than they are to each other, and all three of them love their parents. Carlisle and Esme adore their children, as well as Bella and Rosalie. Bella seems to get along with Edward's parents.

It was mostly Rose who surprised me last night. I knew she was friends with Alice, and that she was comfortable with Carlisle and Esme. What I hadn't realized was that Rosalie actually loves them. And they both seem to love her. Maybe they expect Emmett to propose to her and are already treating her like a daughter, I don't know. What I do know is that Rosalie doesn't usually let people get close to her.

This reinforces what I already knew: those Cullens are damn tricky. They're nice, and supportive, and generally helpful, and before you know it you're depending on them to be your family. I'm glad it seems to be working out for my sister, but I have no intention of depending on anyone. I'll be sure to stay on my best behavior around the Cullens and do whatever I can to repay them for letting me stay here, but I didn't need a new family.

I sat up again. It was almost six in the morning and there was no way I was going to go back to sleep. Last night, after everyone left, Esme showed me around the kitchen and said I could help myself to anything, anytime I wanted. I pulled on a shirt with the vague idea of finding some toast to eat.

I glanced around my new room as I left. It was painted a soothing greenish color, and the furnishings were minimal. The bed was comfortable and the room had plenty of space. Alice told me hers and Emmett's rooms remained untouched; apparently this room had been a guest room. Rosalie informed me Esme had redecorated the room for me, specifically. I had thought she was joking – why would anyone bother to do that? – but Alice had nodded her agreement. Alice wouldn't make that up. I didn't know why Esme always seemed to want to rearrange rooms for me. It must be because she's an interior decorator. She probably thinks it's fun or something.

I started down the stairs, then paused. It was early, but what if someone else was awake? I bit back a sigh. For as long as I stay here, I'm going to have to be polite whenever I'm not in my room. I just know that's going to mean I'm going to have to participate in idle chitchat. I hate idle chitchat. Or, worse, meaningful conversations where I'm asked about my feelings.

I continued walking down the stairs. Because of my knee, it took me awhile to maneuver on the stairs. I didn't hear anything, so maybe no one else was awake. Edward took Alice and Bella home last night, but I'm not sure if he came back to the house or stayed at the apartment. I wonder if Bella told him about me cornering her in the kitchen. I purposely waited until I could talk to her alone because I thought she would be more likely to answer my questions then. I'd already deduced that Bella doesn't like to be the center of anyone's attention.

All she would tell me was that she has a potential lead in her case. She wouldn't tell me what it was, even after I gave her a look that has caused hardened men to take a step back. Maybe I _am_ losing my edge.

I walked into the kitchen. Carlisle was already there. He was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in front of him, and reading the newspaper. _Remember to be polite._

"Good morning, Jasper," Carlisle said, looking up from his paper and giving me a slight smile.

"Good morning."

For some reason, Carlisle's eyes became amused at my response. "Are you always an early riser?" he asked.

Ah, fuck. Isn't it too early to deal with these types of questions? "Are you?" I wondered aloud.

Carlisle set his newspaper aside. "Yes, actually. I'm always the first one up. Esme will probably be down in about a half an hour."

He looked at me expectantly, and I knew it was my turn to share. "I never sleep well so yes, I usually get up early."

To my surprise, Carlisle didn't pursue the subject. "Go ahead and help yourself to anything. Coffee's fresh."

I don't like coffee. "Thanks," I said, avoiding the coffeepot and looking around for the bread.

I found the bread and put it into the toaster. "Any plans for today?" Carlisle asked casually.

My eyes flew to his face, but Carlise's expression was as serene as ever. "Actually, I have plans with Alice tonight."

"Oh?" Carlisle inquired, seeming only mildly interested. "What are you two doing?"

I frowned slightly. I hadn't exactly planned anything. I couldn't remember the last time I've been on a real date. I didn't even know why I asked Alice out. Well, probably because she was in my lap and smelled nice and felt good and I wanted another chance to touch her, but I definitely hadn't planned on asking her on a date. I tried to tell Alice she'd be better off staying away from me, but she refused. She said she liked me.

She can't say I didn't warn her. I already knew I liked her. My new plan was to spend as much time with Alice as I could – until she gets smart and backs away from me. Until then…"I'm not really sure yet," I answered Carlisle's question.

At least I have a good ten hours to think of where to take her. "Oh, that reminds me," Carlisle said, getting to his feet.

He walked over to the counter and picked up a key, handing it to me. "Here's the key to the house. Esme and I will probably be asleep by the time you get back tonight."

I tried not to gape at Carlisle as I took the key from him. A former pill-popping killer is going on a date with his daughter, and he's perfectly fine with it? He _must_ be on Valium.

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**Alice POV**

"Can you slow down a little?" Jasper asked as we walked to the car.

"Oh, sorry," I said, coming to a halt a few feet away from the vehicle.

He never complained about his knee, but he still limped when he walked. I half-turned to apologize again. Jasper caught my eye and one side of his mouth quirked up as he took advantage of my stillness. He quickly took another step, reached around me, and opened the car door on my side.

_Oh_. "Did you do that on purpose?" I couldn't stop the words tumbling from my mouth.

Jasper didn't reply; he just winked at me and closed my door. I caught my bottom lip with my teeth, then grinned as he walked around the car to get to the drivers' side. "Where are we going?" I asked as soon as he started the car.

Jasper shot me a look. "I'm not telling."

I pouted slightly. "Tell me," I cajoled him. "I like to know what's going to happen."

Jasper didn't spare me a glance as we started driving. "Who always wants to know what the future holds?"

"Me. I do."

"Sorry," Jasper said, not sounding sorry at all.

I crossed my arms. A slight smile was playing around Jasper's lips. I looked out the window. It was eight-thirty at night and almost completely dark outside. We were heading outside the city, and idly I wondered if Jasper really knew where he was going. He wasn't reading a map or anything, but having grown up with three males in the house, I knew better than to ask him if he needed directions.

I had been excited about my date with Jasper all day. He hadn't even called me until almost four o'clock in the afternoon. It had been a bit disconcerting, actually, to see 'HOME' flash on the screen of my cell, and then hear Jasper's voice when I answered the phone. All he had said was he would pick me up at eight, and that I should come hungry. Then he had said he had to go and got off the phone before I could bombard him with questions. I had proceeded to spend the rest of the afternoon driving Bella crazy wondering what we were doing, where we were going, and what I should wear.

I had even called Rosalie, but she hadn't been much help. Jasper hadn't confided in her. All she said was Jasper would have told me if I needed to dress up. So, even though I would usually wear a dress on a first date, I had worn a skirt instead. This was major dressing-down for me and when Jasper arrived at my apartment, he told me I looked good. So at least I'm dressed appropriately – even if I didn't know where we were going.

I turned to face Jasper. "So what did you do today?"

"What did you do today?"

I poked his arm. "I asked you first."

Jasper looked at me and smiled. "Yeah, but you're just hoping I'll drop a hint about where we're going."

I couldn't help smiling back at him. "Maybe. All right, fine. And I didn't really do anything today, just hung out with Bella. And hung around the phone waiting for you to call, of course."

Jasper's eyes shot to mine; startled, but he relaxed when he saw my teasing grin. "How's work going?" he asked.

"Fine. Busy. I'm getting more responsibility now, which is a good thing. And one of our new hires is in charge of this Halloween event, and I'm actually going to be overseeing her efforts."

"So you're not the lowest person in the office anymore."

"Exactly," I said, beaming at Jasper even though his eyes were on the road and not on me.

"What about that wedding you're working on?"

Pleased that he remembered – and seemed interested enough to ask – I prattled on about work until the car started slowing down. We had been driving for a good half hour, and it was completely dark now. We were on a smaller side street, tall trees on either side of the road. Jasper drove further into the trees and then suddenly we came to a clearing. "How did you know this place was here?" I asked as he parked the car.

Jasper reached across me and opened my door. As the door swung open he looked at me, his face inches from mine. "I never reveal my sources."

"With most people, that would be a joke, but that's probably true in your case," I mused aloud as we got out of the car.

Jasper raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't say anything. He popped the trunk and moved to the back of the car. "What's in there?" I asked, following him.

Jasper handed me a blanket. "Dinner," he responded.

I smiled widely as we walked further into the clearing. _Jasper's bringing me on a moonlit picnic._

There was only a sliver of moon, but there were plenty of stars. Jasper left the car's headlights on, too, so there was enough light for us to see. I spread the blanket on the ground and Jasper spread out the food, carefully easing himself onto the ground. "This is nice," I said, picking up a piece of chicken.

"A good surprise?"

I pretended to think about it. "I don't usually like surprises but – yes."

I grinned at him, and Jasper smiled back. We talked a little more as we ate. I learned Jasper was thinking of starting school when the next semester began, in January, and until then he wanted to find an auto mechanic job.

When we were finished eating, Jasper put everything back in the cooler. "Wait here," he said, and brought it to the car.

The car's headlights went out, and I felt a shiver shoot through me as the clearing grew darker. Jasper came back and sat next to me on the blanket. I shivered again. "Are you cold?" Jasper asked, putting an arm around me.

If I had known he'd pull me close like this, I would have thought to pretend I was chilly. "A little."

Jasper leaned back, and somehow I ended up with my head on his chest. He was flat on his back, his arm around my waist. Then a thought occurred to me, and I propped myself up. I could only see the outline of Jasper's face. "Do you know something?" I asked him.

His hand ran up my arm. "What?"

"This is the first time we've really been alone."

Jasper's hand came to the back of my head. "Yeah, I did notice that."

He brought my mouth to his and finally – _finally_ – he kissed me. I was cold, but his mouth was warm, his body was warm, and I pressed myself against him as our first real kiss turned into a bunch of really long kisses. The arm he had injured was looped around my waist and his other hand was tangled in my hair. I kept kissing him, wanting more. Our tongues played and a tingling heat spread throughout my body.

I paused for air. "Jasper," I said, my voice coming out breathy.

His mouth moved to my neck. "Hmm," he replied, his lips against my skin.

I shivered, but I certainly wasn't cold anymore. "You're good at this."

I felt his lips curve into a smile. He pulled back to look at me. "You're beautiful."

I ran a hand over my hair. "It's dark. You can't even see me."

Jasper angled his head up to give me another kiss, then lay down. His hand stroked my back. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Looking at the stars."

There was something in his tone that I didn't quite understand, but I lay my head on his chest and looked up at the sky. "Why?" I wanted to know.

"Someone told me it was relaxing."

I felt my insides melt a little. "Do you know any of the constellations?"

Jasper's hand came to rest on my stomach, his thumb rubbing in circles. "I know the Big Dipper. Straight up, to the left a little bit."

"Mmm-hmm. Okay, look across from the Big Dipper. See that W shape? That's Cassiopeia."

I continued pointing out the different constellations we could see, and we lay there looking at the sky. Then we kissed a little more. Finally we went back to the car and Jasper drove me home.

It was after midnight when we arrived at my building. Jasper walked me to my door, and I couldn't stop smiling. I didn't even try. I came to a halt in front of the door to my apartment and turned to face him. "I had a really good time," I said.

"Me too," Jasper said, looking almost surprised at his admission.

He was holding my hand, and I took a step closer. I stood on my tiptoes, placing my free hand on his shoulder for balance, and kissed him. "Call me tomorrow."

Jasper grinned at me. "I'll call you later today."

I giggled. Jasper kissed me, then turned me towards my door. I unlocked it, opening the door, and turned back to look at him. "Good night, Jasper."

"Good night, Alice."

I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. After a minute I remembered to flip the lock. It loudly clicked into place. Only then did I hear Jasper walk away from the door.

Knowing Bella was asleep, I tried to be quiet as I happily danced to my room.


	12. Seven Minutes On Halloween

_**Disclaimer**_**:** I don't own _Twilight_.

_**A/N**_**:** Thanks to **Kathy** for beta-ing this, and to **Karkoolka** for being my 200th reviewer :)

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**Esme POV**

My mind wandered as I scrubbed the kitchen sink and I found myself thinking about Jasper. He has lived with us for a month now and in some ways I feel as if I still don't know him at all. He is always carefully polite. He keeps his room ruthlessly neat, always asks if I need a hand with anything, and will respond when spoken to. All of these things are very nice – but not very real. He acts like a grateful guest when I wish he would act, if not like a family member, than at least like a friend.

On the other hand, I have learned more about him. I now know he and Rosalie share an interest in cars. Jasper found a job as a mechanic a few weeks ago. He only works part-time because he spends a lot of time in physical therapy to rehabilitate his knee, but I think he likes going into work and having some sort of purpose. _Or maybe he just likes getting away from the house_, I thought.

I shook my head as I rinsed out the sink. Carlisle says I'm being too sensitive, and that Jasper needs time to accept all of us. Maybe I am. Carlisle has a closer relationship with Jasper than I do. He has been helping him gather all the necessary application and financial materials so that he can start school in the winter. And Carlisle and Jasper play chess together.

One evening after dinner only Carlisle, Jasper, and I were in the house. Usually Edward, Bella, or Alice was around, but none of them had come to dinner on this particular night. I knew – and I suspect Carlisle did, as well – that Jasper planned on retreating to his room, or perhaps the library, and reading. I was sure he had no intention of spending any time with either Carlisle or myself.

But both Jasper and I underestimated my husband. I'm not sure how it happened, exactly, but somehow Carlisle got Jasper to play chess with him. Carlisle loves the game, and he and Edward played all the time when Edward was growing up. Now that Edward's busy with school and Bella, he doesn't have much time to play anymore. Emmett never wanted to play, and both Alice and I are adequate players, but are no challenge to Carlisle. I'm sure Carlisle intended on teaching Jasper how to play, and he was probably even looking forward to it. Carlisle loves being an instructor.

I had followed Carlisle and Jasper into the study to watch them play, and both Carlisle and I were surprised to discover Jasper already knew the rules. After one or two moves, Carlisle shot Jasper a startled look. Jasper's face held his usual impassive expression. Then Carlisle smiled delightedly. "You don't just know the rules, Jasper," he had said. "You really know how to play!"

And so Carlisle and Jasper have spent many evenings playing chess. Carlisle told me Jasper was a brilliant player, a good strategist. Once he asked Jasper where he learned how to play, but all Jasper said was he had been playing for years. I wondered if Jasper's father had been the one to teach him. I know Jasper's and Rosalie's father died in an electrical accident when they were eight or nine years old, but perhaps Jasper had played chess with him as a child.

But Jasper only played chess with Carlisle if none of my other children were around. And ever since Jasper moved in, the other kids – with the exception of Edward and Bella – have been around more often. Alice and Jasper spend a _lot_ of time together. Ever since their first date last month, they seem to spend every moment they both have free, together. Alice would have told me if they were sleeping together – it would be such a big step for her – and so I know they're not.

Generally, though, Alice has not been very forthcoming about her relationship with Jasper. I guess I always thought that when Alice was finally serious about someone, she would be just as open about it as she is with all other aspects of her life, and share her thoughts and feelings with me. But she hasn't done that. Alice's and Jasper's bond seems so private, somehow.

I think they're good for each other. I saw Jasper smile at Alice. It was the only time I've ever seen him smile. Jasper isn't one to outwardly express his emotions, but he does seem happier when Alice is around. Once I happened to be walking down the hallway upstairs and, when I walked by Alice's old room, I heard Jasper and Alice inside. I heard Jasper actually _talking_. Everyone always feels comfortable around Alice, and I'm happy to learn Jasper is no exception.

I had been both surprised and pleased when I realized that Jasper was good for Alice, too. It's obvious – to me, anyway – that Jasper adores Alice. He seems happy just to be around her, listening to her chatter. If I'm honest with myself, I can admit that the rest of us usually listen to Alice with only half an ear. My only daughter likes to hear herself speak. But Jasper seems to genuinely listen to everything she says. It's Alice he trusts, Alice he wants to spend time with above any of the rest of us. I think Alice knows this, and the knowledge is good for her. Alice has never had anyone who was just hers before. And I know, the way only a mother can know, that Alice still has leftover fears from her childhood buried deep. Fear of being alone, fear of being unwanted. I don't know if Jasper knows about any of that, but I think he can help alleviate those fears all the same.

"Hey Mom," Edward said, coming into the kitchen and interrupting my thoughts.

My voice was still a bit distracted as I replied. "Hi. I didn't know you were home."

I went over and kissed his cheek. "You looked pretty lost in thought," Edward commented. "What were you thinking about?"

I hesitated ever so briefly before responding, "Jasper."

Edward and Jasper have an extremely polite and impersonal relationship. I think both of them are waiting for the other to do something wrong. Edward frowned slightly at my words, and I quickly changed the subject. "Are you excited for Alice's Halloween party this weekend?"

Alice's firm was hosting a big Halloween event at a swanky bar downtown over the weekend. Alice has to work the party, but she invited Jasper, Edward, Bella, Emmett, and Rosalie to the soiree. They all have to wear costumes and I know Edward – and probably Bella and Jasper – aren't excited about dressing up.

"It'll probably be okay," Edward said reluctantly.

I grinned at him. "What are you going as?"

Edward sighed, looking pained. "Bella told Alice she could pick out our costumes."

I laughed, and Edward shook his head. "I know. I don't know what Bella was thinking. Who knows what kind of costumes Alice will end up getting for us."

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**Alice POV**

I hummed as I squeezed into my Halloween costume. Tonight would be fun. Technically I'm working, but I'm only there as back-up. Jessica is in charge. It's her first big event and so Angela wanted me there as back-up in case she needed help, but I probably wouldn't be needed. And since I invited Emmett and Rosalie – and bullied Jasper, Edward, and Bella – into coming, I should be able to hang out with them most of the time. I didn't think all six of us have ever gone out together.

Once ready, I inspected myself from all angles in the floor-length mirror. I was only able to talk Jasper into dressing up if he could wear something he was comfortable in. We finally agreed that he would be a cowboy and I would be a saloon girl. Satisfied with my appearance, I left my room to find Edward and Bella before I had to head out.

I walked into the living room to find Edward and Bella sitting together, both working on their laptops. They weren't in costume yet since the party didn't start for a few more hours, but I had to get to the bar early to help with set-up. "So what do you think?" I asked, grabbing Edward's and Bella's attention.

I twirled so they could see my whole costume. "You look great, Alice," Bella said.

"Isn't that a little risqué?" Edward said at the same time.

Bella and I both laughed and ignored him. "Jasper's going as a cowboy, right?" Bella asked.

I nodded, smiling a little. "I bet he'll love your costume," Bella said, her tone turning sly.

Edward groaned and made a face. Laughing, I told them I'd see them both later and hurried out the door.

As I drove to the bar, I thought about what Bella had said. I did look good, and I hoped Jasper liked my outfit. We've been spending a lot of time together since he left Horizon. I haven't told him yet, but I'm in love with him. And I want to sleep with him. I've never felt ready before. I thought it was because of what happened when I was little; even though my mind didn't remember, maybe my body did. But now I think that maybe I had to be in love first. Jasper and I have done a lot of kissing and touching, but he always backs off before it goes any further. I didn't know if it was because I was doing something wrong, or if he was waiting for me to tell him I was ready.

I pursed my lips thoughtfully, my fingers tapping the steering wheel. I think Jasper might love me. Or maybe I just hope he does. I'm not used to feeling so unsure of anything. Usually I always know what's coming, what I should expect. I know Jasper likes spending time with me. But sometimes he treats me so carefully. I'm not sure if it's because he thinks I'm fragile, or because he thinks I'm too "good". I don't like either option, and it's getting more and more frustrating every time Jasper tells me he's not as good as I am.

I arrived at the bar and pulled into the parking lot. Exhaling loudly, I decided not to think for the rest of the night, and just have fun.

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**Emmett POV**

Rosalie and I parked in the driveway at my parents' house and went inside to get Jasper. "We're here!" I called as I opened the front door.

Rosalie elbowed me. "Do you always have to shout your arrival?"

I hooked my arm around her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. Rose kissed me back for a minute, but when my hand went to her front and undid one of her buttons, she pushed me away. "You can't mess up my costume," Rosalie admonished me.

I grinned at her. "Then you better make it up to me later."

Rosalie ignored me, running a hand through her hair and straightening her costume. I took a step further into the hall. "Mom!" I bellowed.

Jasper appeared at the top of the staircase, wearing jeans, a plaid shirt, boots, and a cowboy hat. "Jesus, Emmett, quit shouting. They're not here," he said.

Jasper came downstairs. He was riding with Rose and me to Alice's party. "Where are your chaps?" I asked, and he flipped me off.

Rosalie laughed. "That's not a costume," she said as Jasper came to stand beside us. "I've seen you wear that back in Texas."

There was never any trace of Southern in Rosalie's voice. Jasper, however, did have a slight accent. He thickened it now as he adjusted his hat. "I'm gonna go wrangle some cattle."

Rosalie laughed again, and I smiled. I was happy. Rosalie was in a good mood and Jasper was joking for once in his life. I had a good feeling about tonight. "Let's go," I said.

We walked out to the car, and Jasper took a good look at both of us. He smirked. "Nice costumes."

I was dressed as a doctor, and Rosalie was a sexy nurse. I grinned. "I'm going to make fun of Edward all night and tell him I'm a doctor before he is."

We reached the car, and Rosalie got in the front seat. "Besides," I continued. "Since Rose is a hot nurse, I can get a check-up later…"

I trailed off when Jasper's eyes narrowed. "That's my sister."

_Oh, right_. I considered it wise not to say anything else. Jasper and I got in the car, and we drove to the bar. It didn't take us long to get there. The three of us went inside. It was already getting crowded. I was tall enough to see over the heads of most people. I got a quick glimpse of Alice running around across the room, but I didn't see Edward or Bella. "I don't think Edward and Bella are here yet," I said, speaking loudly so Rosalie and Jasper could hear me.

Jasper didn't say anything, and Rosalie shrugged, disinterested. "I'll get us something to drink," I almost shouted.

With my size, it was easy to get through a crowd – as long as you didn't mind knocking people out of your way. And I didn't. So I made it to the front of the bar quickly, ordering three drinks. I made my way back to where Rosalie and Jasper were standing. Rosalie looked bored, pretending not to notice all the male eyes on her, and Jasper was looking around. He was probably trying to spot Alice. He and Alice really seemed to like each other. I never thought Alice would go for someone so reserved, but what did I know?

I handed Rosalie and Jasper their drinks as Alice walked over. She came up and hugged Jasper from behind, and his whole face brightened. _Oh, yeah. He's falling for her_.

Alice moved to stand by his side. As Jasper put his arm around her, I caught my first real look at her costume and my brow crinkled in confusion. "What are you supposed to be?" I asked her.

"I love your costume, Alice," Rosalie put in.

"I'm a saloon girl," Alice answered me.

She winked at Jasper. It was then that I noticed the way he was eyeing my baby sister. I glared at him, but he was too busy ogling Alice to notice.

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**Jasper POV**

I couldn't stop staring at Alice. I've been trying to behave myself and take it slow with her, but sometimes I think she wears little outfits like this on purpose. I want her, all of her. We've been spending all the time we could together. I have no idea why Alice still _wants_ to spend time with me. She's always so innocently happy and I feel like if she spends too much time with me I'll taint her, somehow.

However, every time I leave Alice, I'm already looking forward to the next time I can see her. I've promised myself that when she realizes she's better off without me, I'll back off with no argument. I've told her who I am and what I've done. Until then, I have no intention of staying away from her – even if it would be better for her. She'll have to make that decision on her own.

Alice and Rosalie were talking to each other, and I finally managed to drag my eyes away from Alice's tiny costume. I looked to my right and saw Emmett glaring at me. I was confused for a second – until I realized he must have noticed me staring at his sister. I felt kinda embarrassed for a moment.

But then I remembered the way _he_ had been staring at _my_ sister earlier. I tilted my head towards Rosalie and raised my eyebrows. Emmett looked at Rosalie, then Alice, then relented. "Yeah, okay," he said to me, the frown leaving his face.

Rosalie and Alice looked at us quizzically, but neither Emmett nor I said anything else. I noticed Edward and Bella had arrived and were heading in our direction. Rosalie spotted them too, and she quickly dragged Emmett away to dance. "Hi you two!" Alice said happily as Edward and Bella came up to us.

"Hey Alice. Great party," Edward said.

"Nice costume, Jasper," Bella said to me with a small smile.

I looked at her. "You too. What are you?"

Bella blushed a little. "I'm Diana, the huntress. And Edward's a wolf."

I glanced from Bella, who was wearing a silvery dress and holding a bow, to Edward, who had a wolf headdress. "Interesting choice," I managed to say without cracking a smile.

Bella turned even redder and tugged on the hem of her dress. "Alice picked out our costumes."

I looked down at Alice, who was still pressed against my side, and she smiled up at me. Then she looked back at Bella and Edward. "Bella," she said, sounding surprised. "What's the matter?"

I looked at Bella too, and saw that she wore a horrified expression as she stared at something behind me. Bella stared at Alice's question and quickly averted her eyes. "What? Nothing."

Edward, Alice, and I all turned to see what Bella had been staring at. As soon as I saw what Bella had seen, I wished I hadn't. Rosalie and Emmett were grinding up on each other on the dance floor. "Is that really necessary?" Edward asked disdainfully.

"I can't believe them," Alice giggled.

"That is disgusting," I stated.

"I'm glad it's not just me that had that reaction," Bella said, relieved.

I resolutely turned my back on the dance floor so I wouldn't have to see – that – and happened to catch Edward's eye. For the first time since we've met, we shared a look of perfect understanding.

He turned to Bella. "Bella, what do you want to drink?"

I noticed Alice wasn't holding a glass. "Alice, do you want something to drink?" I asked her.

"Alice doesn't drink," Edward and Bella said in unison.

I looked at them, startled at the quick response, then looked back at Alice. She just shrugged. "I'm working, technically, so…"

She trailed off. I noticed Edward and Bella exchange a look at her words. I knew there was something none of them were telling me, but I decided to ask Alice about it later. "I want to show Jasper around," Alice said to Edward and Bella. "We'll see you two later."

She took my hand and started walking. "Alice," I said as she pulled me along. "I'm not a very social person. Do you think – "

Alice came to a halt, and I stopped talking. She pouted – and damn, she's really cute when she does that – and informed me, "You never said anything about my costume."

That's probably because I was too busy leering at you in front of your big older brother. "I do like your costume."

I suddenly noticed Alice had led me to a secluded area. No one else was around. Alice smiled at me. I put my hands on her hips and leaned down to kiss her, but Alice backed away. I looked at her, confused, but Alice's eyes sparkled teasingly. She turned around and opened a door, beckoning to me. I followed her into what turned out to be a utility closet, a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Alice closed the door behind me, and I laughed. "Are we playing Seven Minutes in Heaven?"

Alice's forehead furrowed. "What?"

I grabbed her hand, pulling her closer to me. "The game? A bunch of kids in a basement, and two people are picked? They go into the closet for seven minutes and make out while everyone else is sitting outside the door?"

Alice shook her head. "Never played it."

I smiled at her. "I'll teach you."

Alice jumped up and put her arms around my neck. Her feet dangled off the floor, so I wrapped my arm around her to steady her. "I'm a very fast learner," Alice said before she started kissing me.

Her mouth was hot and wet and open against mine. I kissed her eagerly, unable to get enough of her. I love the way she tastes. One of my hands came down to cup her breast. I circled her nipple with my thumb, feeling it harden through her dress.

Alice squirmed, and my grip on her started to loosen. She readjusted herself, wrapping a leg around my waist, and her dress rode up. My hand came to her bare knee and I slowly moved it further and further up. Alice started nibbling on my neck.

Suddenly there was a loud crackling noise, and I felt Alice go rigid. She abruptly stopped kissing me. We were both breathing heavily as she fumbled to open the tiny purse that was still around her wrist. "Alice, what…" I started to say, but she managed to fish a tiny walkie-talkie out of her purse with one hand and cover my mouth with the other.

"This is Alice," she said into the walkie.

"Alice, I need your help!" a loud voice squealed.

I winced at the high volume. Alice was still in my arms, though she had taken her hand away from my mouth. I started drawing circles on her thigh with my pointer finger. "I'll be out – I mean, I'll find you in a minute," Alice reassured the hysterical voice.

Alice wiggled, and I loosened my grip on her. She stood on her own two feet on the ground and took a step back from me, straightening her costume. "You have to hurry, Alice, it's a disaster and I don't know what to do!" the voice wailed.

It was then that I realized we were in a closet, at a party, and Alice was supposed to be working. I grimaced. I had practically attacked her. "I'm coming," Alice repeated in a soothing voice.

Should I apologize? Alice slipped the device back into her purse, then looked at me. Her face was flushed, but she didn't look upset. She looked…happy? Excited? "Alice…" I began.

She stepped forward, stood on her tiptoes, and planted a kiss on my lips, effectively rendering me silent. "I have to go," she said when she pulled back.

Her eyes met mine, and this time I had no trouble reading the expression in them. "But we're going to finish this sometime."

With that, she spun on her tall, skinny heels and rushed out the door to rescue her coworker. I stared after her for a few seconds, my mind blank and my body not capable of doing much at the moment anyway.

After a minute I came to my senses. _Game on_.

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**Alice POV**

I smiled at Jasper tiredly. "Ready to go?"

It was four in the morning. I had stayed to help Jessica and the crew with clean-up once the final guests left the party. Edward, Bella, Emmett, and Rosalie had left a few hours ago, but Jasper had volunteered to stay with me. He had helped out a little, but I wouldn't let any of the others give him any sort of task that would require a lot of walking around. Jasper had been on his feet for hours and he hadn't said anything, but I could tell from the way he moved that his knee was hurting him.

Jasper put his arm around me. "Yeah, let's go."

I called out a good night to the one or two people still around, and Jasper and I went outside to my car. I yawned hugely as I took out my keys. Jasper held out his hand. "Let me drive, you're falling asleep."

"No I'm not," I protested, but I gave him my car keys.

I was very tired, and my eyesight was a little blurry at the moment. I knew Jasper hadn't had anything to drink for hours, and he seemed much more alert than I did. We got into my car and Jasper started to drive. "Did you like the party?" I asked, closing my eyes to rest them for a minute.

"I like you."

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The next thing I knew, I was moving. But I wasn't walking. How was that possible? I turned my head slightly and felt bare skin against my face. I turned my face the other way and, opening my eyes blearily, recognized the hallway of my apartment building. "Jasper?" I mumbled.

"Yeah."

His voice came from above, but it sounded close. He opened my door and we ended up in my room. It was then I realized he was carrying me. Jasper placed me in my bed and took off my shoes. "Jasper?" I said again.

I thought my eyes were open, but I couldn't see him. I felt his hand gently stroke the side of my face. "Yeah?"

I fell back asleep.

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After I woke up and got ready the next morning, I realized Jasper and I could have had sex last night – but I fell asleep. I groaned, shaking my head at myself in the mirror. "You should have had some coffee," I said to my reflection.

Torn between laughter and frustration, I heard my buzzer and went to let my mother in. We had plans to go shopping. "Hi Mom," I said.

"Hi," Mom replied, giving me a hug.

We walked out to her car. "How was the party last night?"

She cast a sideways glance at me. "Jasper got in pretty late."

I got in the passenger's side and Mom started driving. "He stayed and helped me clean up. Then I fell asleep in the car and he had to carry me to my apartment."

Mom laughed. "Oh."

I sighed, but couldn't help smiling. "Yes, oh."

I hesitated. "Mom, I really like him."

"I know."

"I'm going to sleep with him," I confessed in a rush.

Immediately Mom pulled over to the side of the road. The car was still running when she turned to face me. "That's a big decision for you," she said, her eyes searching my face.

I smiled slightly. "I know."

She reached forward and gave me a hug. "Then I'm happy for you," she said against my hair.

She smiled tremulously at me. "You're more certain of yourself than anyone I know, Alice, and you know what's right for you."

I saw tears in her eyes and she quickly hugged me again. I know she's always worried about me, about how things affect me. She's always wanted me to live my life normally. I squeezed her back tightly.

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I spent almost the entire day shopping with Mom. We finally crammed all of our bags into her car and went back to my parents' house. "Your father had off from work today," Mom said as we walked in. "Make sure you talk to him before you run off with Jasper."

"Yes, Mother," I teased.

I dropped Mom's packages at the foot of the stairs. "Why is it so quiet in here?"

To my surprise, Mom giggled. "Jasper and your father are probably playing chess."

I smiled. "What?"

"They play chess together. One game takes them hours."

"Really? But Dad's so good."

Mom linked her arm through mine. "So is Jasper. Come on, they're probably in the study."

Sure enough, when we reached the study, I saw Jasper and Dad sitting across from each other, a chess board between them. Both of them had bland expressions, but Dad's eyes were calculating as they darted around the board, and Jasper's looked faintly smug. "Those looks mean Jasper's going to win," Mom loudly whispered to me.

I giggled. Jasper and Dad both looked up and spotted Mom and I in the doorway. "You're home!" Dad said, getting to his feet.

He gave Mom a kiss, then me. "Where are your bags? A U-Haul outside?" he asked jokingly.

"Yes, actually," I said cheerfully.

Dad faltered for a moment, but Jasper just shook his head at me, a slight smile on his face. He had gotten up, too, and came over to stand beside me. "Alice is joking," Mom assured my father.

I reached down and took hold of Jasper's hand. He squeezed it lightly. "Jasper, why don't you take my car and drive Alice to her apartment?" Mom suggested. "We took my bags out already, but hers are still in there."

"Sounds good," I answered before Jasper could.

We said goodbye to my parents and went out to the car. "These are all yours?" Jasper asked in disbelief when he saw all the bags in the backseat.

"Yes," I said cheerfully.

Jasper started driving. "Want to go get dinner after we unload your cr – stuff?" he asked.

I smiled at him. "Yes."

Jasper parked the car at my building and, between the two of us, we managed to carry all of my bags. "Alice!" someone yelled.

I turned around and saw Edward and Bella walking towards us. "Let's wait for them," I said to Jasper.

"They can hold the doors for us."

I made a face at him. "I didn't buy _that_ much."

Jasper smiled. "Hey Jasper," Bella said.

"I see Alice has been shopping," Edward added.

I pouted. "What's so wrong with shopping?"

I looked from Edward, to Bella, to Jasper. "Never mind, wrong people to ask," I said with a sigh.

Edward laughed. "Come on, let me take some of your bags."

Edward took two of my bags and Bella led the way as the four of us walked up the stairs to Bella's and my apartment. "Did Alice drag you shopping with her?" Bella asked Jasper as we made our way down the hall.

"Nope," Jasper answered.

"I went with Mom," I said, Edward and I walking behind them.

Suddenly Jasper stopped dead in his tracks, and I almost walked into him. He grabbed Bella's arm and she stumbled as she was forced to come to a halt. "Jasper?" she said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"What's going on?" Edward demanded.

"Bella, did you leave the door open?" Jasper asked sharply.

Bella turned to look at Edward. "What? No. We didn't."

I peeked around Jasper and saw the front door of our apartment was slightly ajar. I took a step forward as I spoke. "What do you think – "

Jasper let go of Bella's arm and took hold of mine. "Stay back."

"Jasper – "

I stopped talking when he turned to face me. His expression was set, his eyes serious. "Alice."

"Okay," I agreed.

He relaxed a bit, releasing my arm, and placed the bags he was carrying on the floor. "Wait here until I tell you to come in," Jasper instructed.

His gaze encompassed all three of us. "All of you wait," he emphasized.

"We will," I promised.

"Okay," Bella said.

Edward gave a terse nod, his hand tightly holding Bella's. Jasper approached the door carefully, his body tense. I glanced at Edward and Bella, and we shared a worried look. None of us would have left the door unlocked or open. "Probably a random break-in," I said aloud.

Neither Edward nor Bella responded, but I knew we were all thinking the same thing. They probably didn't think it was a random break-in any more than I did. The people Bella was investigating knew where we lived. What if they had come back?


	13. Going Home to Regroup

_**Disclaimer**_**:** I don't own _Twilight_…although I am borrowing certain plot points and twisting them for my own devices.

_**A/N**_**:** Thanks to **Kathy** for beta-ing this. You all may recognize the end of this chapter ;)

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**Jasper POV**

There was no one in the apartment. I could tell it was empty as soon as I walked in, but I went through every room anyway. The TV and Bella's laptop were lying out in the living room untouched. This worried me. That meant it wasn't a random burglary.

My next guess would have been that perhaps the people Bella was investigating had broken in because they thought Bella had something worth stealing. Some sort of information they thought she had on them, documents or photographs. But nothing in the apartment seemed obviously out of place. Papers weren't strewn about, drawers weren't left open. And yet the front door had been left open, so obviously the intruder had wanted it known that he had been inside.

There was also a feeling in my gut that something about this wasn't good. And my gut is almost always right. I went to the door. Alice, Bella, and Edward were waiting in the hallway right where I had left them. Alice and Edward both opened their mouths as soon as they saw me, but I spoke before either one of them could. "It's okay. There's no one inside, and everything looks okay."

I placed a hand briefly on Alice's shoulder and gestured with my other one. "Go inside and take a look around," I instructed Alice and Bella. "Go through all of your things. Whoever was here must have been here for a reason, but nothing seemed out of place to me."

"We'll check," Alice said, giving me a reassuring smile.

I moved to let the three of them walk in. Alice went straight back to her room but Bella lingered and Edward stayed with her. He looked worried and pissed off. "Jasper, I did what you suggested to make this place secure," Bella said. "And I talked to people at work about it, and Jacob came over and checked it out. I don't understand how this could have happened."

Her eyes searched mine as if I would have some sort of answer for her. I had a bad feeling about this entire thing, but I didn't want to scare Bella if I didn't have to. "I want you to look through all your stuff first," I said. "We need to know if anything is missing. That will probably give us a clue to figuring out what happened."

"Okay."

Bella headed to her room. "What are you doing?" Edward asked as I turned away from him and started examining the door.

I looked over my shoulder to find him just standing there, watching me. "I'm checking it out to see how they got in," I replied.

And I most definitely did not need Edward looking over my shoulder while I did it. I didn't like the nervous energy he was projecting. "You should help the girls see if anything's been messed with. You do practically live here."

I went back to looking at the door, and Edward went further into the apartment. I didn't like what I was seeing – or rather, not seeing. There were no scratches on the door or around the locks. Everything looked fine. If the door hadn't been left open, I wouldn't have even known someone had been in the apartment.

I didn't like this. I didn't like this at all. They wanted us to know someone had been in the apartment. And they had the capability to break-in, no problem, even with the precautions Bella had taken. The intruder knew what he was doing, which was worrying, and he was bold. I moved into the apartment, closed the door behind me, and locked it.

Edward was in the living room. I started walking towards the kitchen when Alice and Bella reappeared from their rooms. "I don't think anything's missing, but someone definitely went through my things," Alice said. "Everything just seems off, somehow."

She walked over to me, Bella following her. "Same," Bella said.

Edward joined us in the kitchen as Bella continued, "Someone moved the papers for my case, but nothing was taken. If they were worried about something I had, why wouldn't they take it?"

I shook my head. "This doesn't make any…"

"What's this?" Edward cut me off.

We all looked at him. He was holding up a large manila envelope. "What's that?" Bella asked, moving towards him.

"It was on the kitchen counter. It has your name on it – and Alice's."

Alice and I exchanged a look. She looked confused. "Open it," I ordered, my senses jangling.

Bella opened it, pulling out a slip of paper. "Another threat," Bella said. "Original. 'Back off if you want to keep yourself and your friends safe'," she read.

The envelope was still thick, and next Bella drew out a thick wad of papers. She let out a little sound and dropped them all. They scattered on the ground, and I saw that they were photographs. But they weren't just photographs of Bella walking down the street this time. They were pictures of Bella on the street, Alice going into work, Bella and Edward going to the library together, Bella cooking in the kitchen, Alice working in the apartment.

I inhaled sharply. The pictures of the girls inside the apartment were clearly taken through the window, from a distance, but I still didn't like it. This time it wasn't just Bella they were stalking. It was Alice, too. I looked at Alice and saw her holding a photograph in her hand and staring at it with an expression I'd never seen on her face before. She looked scared and confused. Alice looked up and met my eyes. Wordlessly, she handed me the photograph she had been holding.

My blood ran cold. It was a photo of Alice asleep in her bed. I flipped it over and saw words written on the back: _Sleep tight, little girl_.

"Pack a bag," I snapped out. "You're not staying here."

Alice's hand slid into mine. She hadn't said anything since Bella had opened the envelope. I didn't know what to think of her silence. Alice _always_ had something to say. "Where are we going to go?" Bella asked.

My eyes met Edward's. For once, we were in perfect agreement. I could tell he wanted to get Alice and Bella away from their apartment as much as I did. "Our house," Edward answered Bella.

I nodded. Edward ushered Bella to her room to pack and Alice seemed to snap to. "Come on," she said, tugging on my hand.

Alice and I went to her room and she let go of my hand, leaving me feeling unbalanced. I watched her go to her closet and root around for a moment before she pulled out a small suitcase and unzipped it. I could feel my apprehension growing, rooting me to my spot. Usually I was good in a crisis, but this was Alice. This was Alice who was in danger. I was frozen with fear.

These people had followed her. They had been in her bedroom while she slept. They could break in without leaving a scratch on the lock. This means they have resources. They're willing to frighten, to threaten, to protect themselves. What the fuck is Bella involved with? I can't let anything happen to Alice. I won't have it.

"Jasper?" Alice said quietly, her light and melodic voice music to my ears.

I blinked as she came to stand in front of me. I had just been standing there, my mind a whirl, as she had started to pack some clothes. I focused on her face and saw that, while she looked serious, Alice didn't look frightened anymore. She brought a hand to my face. "I'm okay. It'll be all right," she said.

She wrapped her arms around my waist, pressing her tiny body against mine. I felt some of my tension bleed out of me as I brought my face to her hair and inhaled. Alice was right here. She was with me, safe. I would just have to make sure she stayed that way.

Alice stepped back. "Help me pack, okay?"

"Okay."

She had me dig around in her closet for shoes, handing them to her when I found the correct pairs. It occurred to me as we walked out into the living room that she had successfully distracted me by giving me a task. I looked at her, and she smiled at me.

"Ready to go?" Edward asked.

He and Bella were waiting for us. "Yeah," I said curtly.

I let Alice carry her own bag. I laced the fingers of my left hand through hers and opened the door with my free hand. "Follow me to the car," I instructed the three of them. "Bella, you lock up."

I didn't expect to see anyone on our way out, and we made it to the car without problem. Edward threw Alice's and Bella's bag in the trunk. I got in the driver's seat, Alice in the passenger's, and Edward and Bella sat in the back. "I'm going to call Emmett and tell him what's going on," Edward said.

"Have him meet us at the house," I replied, starting the car.

I steered with my left hand, my right gripping Alice's. I felt calmer knowing she was within reach. I would make sure nothing happened to her. Alice and I were both silent during the drive. I listened with half an ear as Edward called Emmett, and Bella called her work.

"Emmett, get to the house. I've got something to talk to you about."

"Billy, there's been a new development with the Landreau case."

" – right now, but it's not good – "

" – the Cullens' home. Tomorrow morning, we can – "

" – trouble. Okay? Good, see you soon."

"Nine AM. I'll see you then."

Edward and Bella finished up their phone calls, and the car was almost eerily hushed. My thumb started rubbing circles on Alice's hand. "I don't understand how they got in," Bella finally said. "Jacob…"

"Just because Jacob knows how to break into someone's house doesn't mean he's an expert in security," Edward interrupted, sounding irritated.

I raised an eyebrow at Alice, who rolled her eyes. "He has some experience," Bella insisted. "And I did what Jasper said, too. Jasper, you said they didn't leave any signs on the door, right? There should have been scratches, or something – you would have noticed, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, I would have," I replied.

My grip on Alice's hand tightened. "So what does this mean?" Bella persisted.

I kept my answer brief. "It means they know what they're doing."

"But…" Edward started.

Alice cut him off. "Let's wait and talk about this at the house."

The car was silent for the rest of the ride. I pulled into the Cullens' driveway and before I had turned off the engine, I saw car headlights behind us. Edward turned around to look out the back window. "That's Rosalie's car," he said, his voice tinged with relief.

"No one followed us here," I said.

We all got out of the car and Edward went around to the back of the car to get Alice's and Bella's bags out of the trunk. I took hold of Alice's hand again. Emmett jumped out of his car as soon as it stopped and raced over, Rosalie right behind him. "What's going on?" he said immediately.

"Come on, let's go in the house," I said.

I started walking with Alice, Bella on Alice's other side. "We're fine, Emmett," Alice said.

"But…"

I spoke over Emmett. "Let's go inside."

Edward slammed the trunk closed and tossed Bella's bag at Emmett. Rosalie crossed her arms. "What the hell is going on?" she demanded. "You call us and…"

I wanted everyone to go inside, and I had no patience for my sister's theatrics. I snapped. "Rosalie Lillian Whitlock, just get in the fucking house."

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**Carlisle POV**

I was walking down the stairs when the front door opened. To my surprise, all of the kids came inside together. Almost immediately I recognized something was amiss. Jasper and Alice were the first through the door, looking serious. Bella was right behind them, tripping over the doorframe and nervously picking at her lip. Edward walked in behind Bella, carrying a suitcase. Emmett and Rosalie brought up the rear. Emmett had a bag slung over his shoulder and an arm around Rosalie. She looked livid and he seemed to be practically dragging her through the door.

As I took in the negative emotions and nervous tics the kids were displaying, I realized something was very wrong. "Hello everyone," I said, continuing my descent down the stairs. "What's going on?"

"Bella and Alice are staying here tonight," Edward said.

He left the suitcase at the bottom of the stairs and Emmett followed suit, tossing the bag on top. "Of course," I agreed.

Edward put his arm around Bella's shoulder. It was then that I noticed she was clutching a large envelope in her hands. "Carlisle, what…" Esme came out into the front hall and trailed off when she saw all the kids.

"We need to talk," Edward said.

I nodded slowly. "All right. Let's sit in the dining room."

All of our important family decisions were made at the dining room table. I walked over to Esme and took her hand. We led the way into the other room. "Carlisle, what's going on?" she whispered.

I kissed her temple. "I don't know yet. We'll find out."

I waited as everyone took a seat. Rosalie didn't look furious anymore, but both she and Emmett seemed confused and worried. Edward looked worried as well, but he was also angry. He sat as close to Bella as his chair would allow. Bella, too, seemed worried, but her worry was coated with frustration and guilt. Alice seemed calm, but also serious. She wasn't her usual bubbly self. Jasper's face never showed much expression, but he seemed fiercer, somehow. Determined.

I waited patiently for someone to begin to elucidate what was going on. Everyone looked to Jasper, but he raised his eyebrows at Bella. Hesitantly, Bella began to speak. She and Edward explained what had happened, beginning with the threatening phone calls Bella began receiving three months ago and ending with the realization their apartment had been broken into earlier today.

"And you haven't called the police?" Rosalie asked sarcastically.

Bella blushed and shook her head. "Bella," Esme admonished gently.

"Besides doing a few drive-bys or issuing a restraining order if they could find the perp, there's nothing the police could really do," Jasper put in.

"Bella's dad is on the force," Alice told him softly.

Jasper looked slightly surprised by that piece of information. I could see him filing it away for future reference. "I didn't want to worry him," Bella said lamely.

Emmett changed the subject. "What's in the envelope?"

I had forgotten about the envelope. It was on Bella's lap. At Emmett's question Bella, Edward, Jasper, and Alice shared a look. "When they broke in earlier today, they didn't take anything," Bella said. "But they left this."

She opened the envelope and took out many, many photographs. Alice spread them out on the table so we could all see. I drew in a breath in shock. Someone had been stalking not only Bella, but Alice, too. Even Edward was in some of the photographs. "Shit," Emmett said, and though that's not the word I would have used, I couldn't help but agree.

Esme's fingers lingered on the one of Alice sleeping. I gently pushed it away from her and placed my hand over hers. Esme looked frightened and worried. I squeezed her hand in hopes of reassuring her, while at the same time tried to fight down my own feelings of alarm and inadequacy.

"Who are these people, Bella? I'll take care of them," Emmett said grimly.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. Both she and Emmett seemed angry, but I'm sure it was just a way to hide their worry. The two of them are very protective when it comes to people they love. "They want me to stop investigating," Bella said, not answering Emmett's question. "They left me this note."

She read it aloud. "That's the worst threat I've ever heard," Emmett scoffed. "Seriously, Bella. Tell me where these people are, and I'll take care of them. Hell, I'll even bring Jasper."

"Why isn't Jasper in any of the photos?" Rosalie asked. "He's with Alice a lot."

"I would have noticed someone following me," Jasper replied.

No one said anything for a moment. Finally Edward spoke. "And no, Emmett, you're not going to do anything."

Emmett opened his mouth to argue and, sensing a fight coming on, I quickly spoke up. "What's the plan?"

I meant to direct my question at Bella but for some reason I, and everyone else, looked to Jasper for an answer. He didn't so much as blink, ignoring all of us. It was Bella who answered. "I've talked to Billy, my boss," Bella said. "I'm going in first thing tomorrow morning to discuss everything with him. It's his company, and he took on the client, so he has to be the one to decide how to handle this."

"Bella and Alice are staying here tonight," Edward added.

He gave Bella a firm look. "Billy can decide how to handle the case, but your safety comes first."

Bella's eyes narrowed slightly. "Of course they'll stay here," Esme said quickly. "It's safe here. We'll all be together."

Only I picked up on the faint desperation in her voice. I rubbed my hand up and down her arm soothingly. Emmett raised his eyebrows at Rosalie, who nodded. "Rose and I will stay here tonight too," Emmett announced.

I felt Esme relax slightly. I knew she would feel better having all of her children together – and so would I. Everyone started talking about Bella's case, pestering her for more details, except Jasper and I. I was watching him, trying to figure out what he was thinking. He remained furiously silent. I could see it now that I was paying attention. The tension in his body. The clenched jaw. And I recognized the plotting look in his eye from our chess games. He was strategizing, planning something.

I was glad. Relieved, even. It probably wasn't fair to put this on Jasper, but I didn't know who was stalking Bella and my children. And even if I did, the most I could do was call the police. I couldn't do much to protect them. However, from the little I knew about Jasper's past, I knew that he could. Jasper has dealt with monsters before. Moreover, he's physically and technologically capable of keeping my girls safe.

Then I remembered about his injuries. All right, so he might not be physically able to protect anyone, but he knows how to use a gun.

I jerked in my chair, shocked at the direction my thoughts were heading. I wanted Alice and Bella – and Edward, too – to be safe, but I could never want someone else's life to end – even if that person was threatening my children. Violence was never the answer. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I tuned back in to the conversation at the table.

"It's an organization," Bella was saying. "I'm not sure how large they are, though. The bigger they are, the more they have to lose, and so that might be why they're willing to spend the money on having someone scare me. Scare us."

"Maybe Billy knows someone who can change our locks," Alice suggested.

Jasper finally spoke, and everyone else quieted. "I can make the apartment secure."

There was a beat of silence, and then Edward and Emmett spoke as one. "How?" they wanted to know.

Jasper didn't answer them and instead took out his cell phone. He glanced at Alice, a look I couldn't read, and stood. It was then that I realized they had been holding hands under the table for the duration of this family meeting. Jasper let go of Alice's hand and moved to the room's entryway. He dialed a number, holding his cell to his ear, and walked a little further out of the room, but he didn't go far. I realized with a start that he was keeping his eyes on Alice. Was he really that concerned? The idea of Jasper being scared for Alice made me feel even more worried about this stalking situation.

I looked around the table and saw we were all focused on Jasper. No one gave him even the pretense of privacy as he began speaking to whoever was on the other end of the line. "It's me. There's a situation in Seattle. I need you to do a job out here. Security, residential apartment building, full works. Immediately. Yeah."

With that, he ended the call and came back into the dining room. I felt calmer. This was my first glimpse of Jasper as the tough Special Forces guy I knew him to be, and it was reassuring. He had a plan of action. "Who was that?" Rosalie demanded.

Jasper sat next to Alice again. He took hold of her hand and Alice gave him a small nod. A look passed between them before Jasper seemed to remember the rest of us were present. He turned to his impatient sister. "I called my friend Peter. He's good with security."

Rosalie didn't look satisfied with his response. Neither did Edward. But before either of them could ask any more questions, Emmett broke the tension that had been present since they arrived at the house. "No way, Jasper. You have a friend?"

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**Alice POV**

I let out a relieved chuckle at Emmett's joke and rubbed my thumb over Jasper's hand. Some of the tension in the room seemed to evaporate. This made me happy. Everyone, especially Jasper and Edward, had been on edge since seeing the photos. Jasper had barely let go of me this entire time, which was fine with me. The pictures were scary, and I was worried about what Bella was getting into.

But it was the photo of me sleeping that truly frightened me. It was disturbing that someone had been in my room and been so close to me while I had been unaware. But the phrase on the back of the photo was so creepy. _Sleep tight, little girl_. Something about those four little words terrified me to my very core. I didn't understand this bone-deep fear, and so I was glad I had Jasper's hand to hold on to. It grounded me.

Bella's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Thanks, Jasper," she said. "You don't have to – I mean, I can have someone from work take care of it."

I could tell that Jasper didn't trust that anyone at BlackListed was capable. "I've worked with Peter before," Jasper told her. "His work is highly regarded…in certain circles."

There was complete confidence in his tone. Emmett grinned. "Peter's flying out from DC. He'll be here in the morning," Jasper continued.

He directed his next words to Bella. "You can have anyone you want come out and take a look when he's done, but I can absolutely guarantee there's nothing more they could do."

Bella saw Jasper's mind was set, and she shrugged her agreement. Mom, who hadn't said much but looked very worried, stood up, seeming determined. "I am going to make a late dinner, and we are all going to sit down and eat it. Tomorrow is soon enough to worry about all of this. There's nothing more we can do tonight."

Everyone nodded or murmured some kind of agreement. Mom went into the kitchen to make dinner, and Dad and Rosalie followed in order to give her some help. "Rose and I have a change of clothes in the car," Emmett said. "I'll go get the bag."

He disappeared outside. Edward and Bella sat together, Edward's arm around Bella. Jasper and I sat across from them, our fingers laced together. "We should check the locks on the doors and windows here," Bella said after a moment. "Just in case."

"It's all secure," Jasper said off-handedly.

Edward, Bella, and I all stared at Jasper. He had sounded so certain. "How can you be sure? We have to be really careful," Edward said.

Jasper was casual in his response. "I check every day. Habit, I guess."

I lightly squeezed Jasper's hand. He looked at me, and his eyes softened a bit. I was happy to see he wasn't as tense as he had been before. I turned my attention to Bella. "We should bring our bags upstairs," I said.

Emmett and I would sleep in our old rooms, which Mom had left untouched. Bella would stay with Edward, and Rosalie with Emmett. Bella nodded, and we both got to our feet. Jasper stood as well, but I wanted to talk to Bella alone. "You don't need to come, we'll be quick," I told Jasper.

He frowned at me, but I wasn't about to be deterred. "You just said the house was safe," I pointed out.

Unhappily, Jasper sat.

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**Bella POV**

Alice and I brought our stuff upstairs. I threw my bag into Edward's room and then walked down the hall to Alice's bedroom. "So what's up?" I asked.

Alice had clearly wanted to talk to me alone. I hoped she wasn't mad at me for putting her into danger. I would deserve her anger, but it would hurt. I would never knowingly put Alice in jeopardy. She's my best friend.

But I know Alice well, and I could see she's shaken. I felt worried and guilty. Alice's fear was my fault. "Alice, I'm so sorry," I said before she could say anything. "I'm so sorry. I would never…"

"Bella, it's not your fault," Alice said.

She gave me a hug, then stepped back and sat down on her bed. "It's not your fault, Bella. Okay? But yes, I'm a little freaked out. What are you going to do?"

I bit my lip. "I don't – Alice, I never thought – I just have to get through this meeting with Billy tomorrow," I said. "I'm hoping after that, I'll have a better idea – I never thought something like this would happen, Alice."

I sat down beside her. Alice put an arm around me. "Of course you didn't. You don't want to move out of the apartment, do you? I don't think that would help if these people are really after you, but I just know Edward and Jasper aren't going to want us to go back."

Yes, Edward would definitely not want me to go back. "I'll ask Billy tomorrow but – if Jasper's friend is so good at his job, I don't see why we couldn't go back. We can't move just because we're afraid."

"I agree," Alice rushed to say. "That would be letting them win."

I nibbled on my thumb nail for a moment. "Alice, I – Billy might feel otherwise, but I really don't want to give up this case. I know I'm getting closer, and them coming after me like this makes me think I'm on the right track. I'm going to get them, Alice. Laurent and all the others."

I looked at Alice seriously. "But are you okay with that? You're more important to me than…"

"Don't worry about me," Alice interrupted. "I mean, yes, I'm kinda scared about all this, but if Jasper says our apartment is secure and Billy thinks you should continue with the case – then I think you should too. Besides, Jasper won't let anything happen."

That was certainly the truth. "Yeah," I said aloud. "Jasper hasn't taken his eyes off you all night."

Alice just smiled. I got to my feet. "We should…"

I stopped talking when I turned towards the doorway and saw Jasper standing there, leaning against the doorframe. "Dinner's ready," he said.

Alice stood and went to Jasper's side. I walked past him to go downstairs and heard them walking behind me. I knew without turning around they were once again holding hands.

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**Jasper POV**

It was the screaming that woke me. Trained to be a light sleeper, I was awake and moving with the first yell. My brain moved slower than my feet, and I was racing into the room across from mine before my mind even computed that the screaming was coming from Alice.

I flung open the door to her bedroom and my heart almost stopped. She was thrashing on the bed, her face creased in pain, and screaming as if someone were stabbing her with a hot poker. "Alice!" I said loudly as I rushed towards her side.

I put my hands on her shoulders and drew her to a sitting position, shaking her frantically. "Alice, wake up. Alice! Alice, please, wake up."

Suddenly Alice stopped screaming, and her eyes flew open. Our faces only inches apart, Alice's eyes locked with mine. I inhaled sharply at the haunted, pained look in her large, glazed-over gray eyes. It was a look I had never seen from her before; a look I had hoped never to see on Alice. She should never know the pain that would put that expression on her face. "Don't touch me," she whimpered, flinching.

I felt my chest tighten. Alice had never backed away from me before, but I had been waiting for the moment that she would. I let go of her shoulders immediately but she didn't seem to feel it. "Don't," Alice said again, her voice louder as she wrapped her arms around her legs.

I took a step away from the bed, feeling her fear and rejection slice through me. "I'm not. Alice, I'm not."

I lifted my hands helplessly. I knew I should go and get Esme, but I couldn't leave Alice, couldn't tear my gaze away from her. Still, I knew I shouldn't get any closer to her. So I stood, rooted to the spot, not knowing what to do. "Alice, it's me," I tried, keeping my voice calm and not moving a muscle.

My throat was starting to close up with panic. What had I done? Why was Alice afraid of me? "I'm not going to hurt you," I managed to say.

Alice's face was pressed against her knees. I took a hesitant step forward as Alice started rocking back and forth. "Don't touch me!" she wailed again.

I whirled at a commotion at the door, and saw that Alice's screaming had woken up the rest of the house. Esme rushed in, Carlisle on her heels. Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, and Bella were coming down the hall as well. Esme went to the bed and put her arms around Alice, rocking her and whispering into her ear. "I don't know what happened," I said to Carlisle, my words coming out quickly.

I could hear the hint of defensiveness in my tone, but I couldn't help it. "I heard her screaming. She was having a nightmare. So I came in here and I woke her up. Or I thought I did, but then she started screaming again and I couldn't – I didn't know what…"

"It's okay, Jasper," Carlisle interrupted, his voice low. "It wasn't your fault."

I was surprised when Rosalie pushed past me and sat on the bed with Alice and Esme. Rosalie rubbed Alice's back, soothing her softly. I turned to find Emmett, Edward, and Bella all standing in the doorway. Bella looked as confused as I felt. Emmett looked concerned and resigned, and Edward seemed worried and thoughtful. "This has happened before," Carlisle continued softly. "She'll be fine."

"Fine?" I echoed.

I needed somewhere to direct my anger, my helplessness, and Carlisle was right there. "She's not fine! What do you mean this has happened before? What's going on?"

My voice had been growing louder. Carlisle's voice sounded even quieter in comparison. "Let's get out of here," he said. "Esme and Rosalie will help Alice. She'll be all right, Jasper, I promise."

He could promise whatever the fuck he wanted. It didn't mean anything to me when Alice was hurting. Carlisle must have been able to read some of this on my face, because when he spoke again he was cajoling. "Come on, Jasper. We'll talk downstairs."


	14. That's Major To You

_**Disclaimer**_**:** I don't own _Twilight_…although I am borrowing certain plot points and twisting them for my own devices.

_**A/N**_**:** Thanks to **Kathy** for beta-ing this.

Sorry this took so long. Between my beta and I we had computer problems, a new job starting, illnesses, and of course the holiday season. Anyway, enjoy!

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**Carlisle POV**

Jasper, Emmett, Edward, Bella, and I made our way into the kitchen. Everyone looked concerned, and I couldn't blame them. I felt the same way. Jasper, especially, seemed quite shaken. I hadn't seen him lose control of his emotions in that manner since he went through detox.

Emmett sat on the counter next to the cookie jar and, unsurprisingly, opened it and started munching. Edward and Bella sat next to each other at the kitchen table. Jasper leaned against the refrigerator, purposely not looking at anyone.

I remained standing and tried to figure out how I could explain about Alice. To the best of my knowledge, only Emmett knew all of the details of Alice's past. Esme and I managed to keep it from Edward when we adopted Alice all those years ago, but Emmett heard us talking one night after ten-year-old Alice woke up from a screaming nightmare. Emmett heard more than he should have and he had been fourteen – old enough to understand what it meant. But I had no intention of telling any of the others what little Alice, Esme, and I had pieced together about Alice's past.

I decided I would begin by answering Jasper's question. "Jasper," I said, and his eyes snapped to mine so fast I almost started.

He had been leaning lazily against the fridge and acting like he wasn't even aware of anyone else in the room. I suppose I should have known by now that Jasper was _always_ conscious of his surroundings. I was looking at Jasper as I spoke, but I could feel Emmett, Edward, and Bella's eyes on me. "Alice used to have nightmares like this quite frequently. She would always wake up screaming."

"I remember," Edward interjected.

Emmett remained silent. "Twelve years ago, when we first adopted Alice, she would wake up almost every night," I continued. "She never remembered what her dreams were about once she awakened, but we always assumed it had something to do with her past. We thought Alice blocked her memories because they were painful and her conscious mind wasn't ready to face them, and that after time she would remember. But she didn't. She never did and as the years went by, she stopped having the nightmares."

"That's not exactly true," Bella said slowly.

I blinked in surprise. We all looked at Bella, who flushed. "I was roommates with Alice in college, remember? Our dorm room was tiny freshman year and sometimes I was up late working on something, and Alice would already be asleep. She wouldn't scream like she did tonight, but I could hear her tossing and turning and she would make little noises sometimes."

Bella bit her lip as her voice turned defensive. "People have bad dreams sometimes. I never thought anything of it."

"Of course you wouldn't," Edward rushed to reassure her, squeezing her arm.

I felt a moment of sadness. Why had Alice kept this from us? Esme and I had thought Alice stopped having nightmares. We thought she was free from the fear that lurked in her subconscious.

There was a noise in the hall, and we all looked over as Esme entered the kitchen. "How's Alice?" Edward asked.

Esme came to me and I put my arm around her. "Alice finally woke up, completely," Esme said. "She's calmed down and is going back to sleep."

Esme shot a quick look at Emmett as she added, "Rosalie's going to sleep in Alice's room for the rest of the night."

Both Edward and Bella seemed surprised, but I knew Rosalie and Alice had an understanding. I looked at Jasper again. He remained still and emotionless. I wanted to reach him, but I didn't know how. "We should probably all go back to bed," I said to the room at large.

There was some murmured agreement, and Edward and Bella left. Emmett prodded Jasper into motion and they exited as well. I turned to face Esme and rested my forehead against hers. "Is she really all right?" I asked quietly.

"Yes," Esme responded. "She'll be okay. It's just like it used to be. She didn't remember anything once she was fully awake."

I lifted my head to look into Esme's face. "Apparently Alice never stopped having the nightmares."

Esme's brow furrowed. "What?"

"According to Bella, Alice had nightmares during college, too. Nothing like this, but…"

I trailed off and Esme frowned sadly. "Why didn't she tell us?"

I sighed. "I don't know."

Esme changed the subject. "How's Jasper doing? His face when we came to Alice's room…"

He had looked stricken. "I know," I said grimly.

"Jasper doesn't know about all of Alice's past," Esme told me.

"It's Alice's decision. She and Jasper will figure it out."

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**Jasper POV**

I didn't sleep. Instead I lay in bed and stared out the window. I listened for noises coming from Alice's room, but I didn't hear any. Eventually I saw the first streaks of light hit the sky.

_Alice was afraid of me_. I knew this would happen. I knew, when push came to shove, Alice wouldn't want me around. Why would she? Why should she? I'm nothing. She gives me so much more than I could ever give to her.

_Alice was afraid of me_. She never showed any fear toward me before. She joked with me, she spent time alone with me, and never once did she flinch away from me. Until now. Until tonight.

_Alice was afraid of me_. At her core, Alice didn't want me near her. Even though I knew this would happen, it took me by surprise. And it hurt. I couldn't believe how much it hurt.

I heard a noise in the hall. My door was open, and when I looked over I saw Emmett go into Alice's room. A moment later I heard Rosalie shout and Alice laugh. I got out of bed and put on some clothes, trying not to feel jealous of Emmett. He could go in and make Alice laugh. I couldn't.

I quietly left my room and went out onto the back porch. Sitting on the railing, I took out a cigarette and lit it. I inhaled deeply, embracing the burn in my lungs. My chest felt tight and I breathed in again, then slowly exhaled. Smoke curled around me. It didn't make me feel better, exactly, but I felt steadier.

I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to make sure Alice was all right, but I didn't think I could handle it if she looked at me with that fear in her eyes. Even if she didn't, I would still know it was there somewhere.

For a moment – just a minute – I thought about how taking a pill would make these feelings go away. I could float along in a haze without all these thoughts and emotions taking over. I could just _be_, without any pain or worry.

I took another drag of my cigarette. I knew Alice and Rosalie would be upset if I slipped, and Carlisle and Esme would be disappointed. The want was always there, in the back of my mind, but I had to resist it.

I heard the door open behind me and tensed. "Jasper?" came Esme's voice.

I turned to face her, putting out my cigarette to be polite. Esme has never said anything about me smoking, but I knew she didn't like it. "Did you sleep all right?" she asked.

I hadn't slept for two nights now. "Yes," I lied.

I must be losing my touch, because Esme didn't look like she believed me. "Jasper," Esme began hesitantly. "When Alice first wakes up from a nightmare like that, she doesn't know where she is or recognize anyone – "

"Esme," I cut her off, knowing she was just trying to make me feel better. "Don't."

I couldn't stand the pitying look in Esme's eyes. Suddenly my phone rang, and I have never been so happy to receive a phone call. I took a step back from Esme and answered the call immediately. "Yeah."

It was Peter calling. "Pick me up at that private airport outside the city in thirty."

"Yeah."

I disconnected the call. Unfortunately, Esme was still standing on the porch with me. She looked at me expectantly. "That was Peter," I responded to her unasked question. "His plane is touching down in about half an hour, and then he's going to work on Alice's apartment. Can I borrow your SUV? He's probably going to have equipment."

And I was so thankful I had to go pick him up right now. It was a good distraction, and a perfect excuse to get away from Esme's God-awful compassionate understanding. "Of course," Esme agreed. "Whatever you need."

I remembered, once again, to be polite. "Thanks."

I left without looking back.

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**Alice POV**

I woke up and was confused to find I wasn't alone. Rosalie was asleep next to me. I smiled. Rosalie was a good friend. _But why was she here?_

My brow furrowed as I tried to remember. After a moment I recalled Rosalie and Mom had woken me up when I had a bad nightmare. I had woken up screaming, which I hadn't done for a long time. Years ago I had conditioned myself not to scream from my nightmares. I had been tired of my entire family always being worried about me.

After they adopted me, I was so happy. I didn't remember my past and I had a loving family; my life was so much better. The only thing that reminded my parents of my past problems was my nightmares. And so I learned to hide them as best I could. Until now, I had been successful. I wondered why last night's nightmare had been so bad.

I almost sat up when I saw Emmett come into my room, but he motioned for me to be still and put his finger over his lips. I stayed silent because I knew what he was going to do. Sure enough, he jumped into bed on top of a sleeping Rosalie. She woke up with a shriek and started yelling at Emmett. I couldn't help laughing. Emmett was laughing too, and soon even Rosalie had to join in.

Emmett maneuvered so he was lying in-between Rosalie and I. "There's no room for you," I informed him.

"I'm going to fall off the bed," Rosalie complained.

Emmett ignored both of us. "So Alice, did you get any sleep?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied, elbowing him. "I woke up right before you came in."

"Do you remember anything?" Rosalie asked.

I frowned in surprise. "No. I never remember the nightmare after I wake up. I mean, I remember you and Mom staying with me for awhile."

Rosalie and Emmett exchanged a look. I sat up. "What?" I wanted to know. "Why, what happened?"

Rosalie spoke first. "You were screaming really loudly. We all woke up and came to your room, but Jasper had gotten here first."

She hesitated, and Emmett continued. "Jasper was trying to calm you down, I think, but you kept screaming for him to get away from you."

I felt genuine shock run through me. I didn't remember this at all. How could I reject Jasper? I felt horrible. "I – I don't remember that," I managed to say.

"Of course you don't remember," Rosalie hastily added. "You weren't really awake yet. It took a few minutes before you even realized Esme and I were there."

Emmett shook his head. "Jasper was really freaked out," he remarked.

Rosalie elbowed him. "Emmett, shut up," she hissed.

I wrapped my arms around my knees, feeling anxious. "Emmett, what did I say, exactly?"

Emmett glanced at Rosalie, looking uncertain. Rosalie bluntly said, "You kept screaming for him not to touch you."

I felt terrible. I had to find Jasper and talk to him. I got out of bed. "I'm going to talk to him."

Emmett rolled out of bed after me, then tugged on Rosalie's hand. "Come on, let's go to my room."

Rosalie grumbled at him, but I ignored them and went across the hall to Jasper's room. Only he wasn't there. My stomach fluttered with a slight panic. He had to be here somewhere. He wouldn't have just left. He couldn't.

I started checking the upstairs bathrooms. Jasper wasn't there. My pace quickening, I headed for the staircase. He must be in the kitchen. _He's probably just eating breakfast_, I told myself.

I heard Edward and Bella behind me in the hall, but I didn't turn around as I raced down the stairs.

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**Esme POV**

I was frying eggs when I saw Alice come into the kitchen out of the corner of my eye. "Good morning," I said.

I looked at her to judge how she was feeling, and saw her looking around the kitchen. "Jasper isn't here," I said.

I assumed she was looking for him. "What?" Alice asked.

I turned back to the pan and slid the eggs onto a plate. "He just left."

I looked back at Alice and saw a slight panic in her eyes. I put the plate down. "Alice. Jasper just went to pick up his friend from the airport. He'll be back."

I was saddened to see Alice remained anxious. In the past twelve hours I had learned that my daughter had never lost her childhood fears; she had only buried them. For herself or for the sakes of Carlisle and I, I didn't know.

Edward and Bella entered the kitchen. "Are those for us?" Edward asked.

I handed Alice the plate. "I'll make some more. Alice, you eat this."

Alice sat down at the table and started picking at her food. "Do you need any help, Esme?" Bella asked.

"If you or Edward want toast, put some in the toaster," I suggested.

Bella took out the bread. Edward sat at the table with Alice. "Alice, you should change once you've finished eating, and go to your apartment. I think Jasper might go straight there," I said as I cracked the eggs into a bowl.

"We can drop Alice off," Bella offered.

The toast popped up and Bella brought it to the table. She sat in the chair next to Edward. "I have that meeting with Billy, so we'll be leaving soon anyway," Bella added.

I put the eggs on two plates and placed them in front of Bella and Edward. Alice was still pushing her food around her plate and didn't appear to be listening to anything any of us were saying. "Alice?" I said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

She looked up. "Yes?"

"I called your work and said you were sick, so you don't have to go in today."

Alice gave me a small smile. It was the first one I had seen from her all morning. "Thanks."

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**Bella POV**

Edward and I exchanged a look as we ate our breakfast. Alice was just sitting there, picking at her food, and from what Esme said, I knew Alice must not have had a chance to talk to Jasper yet. I wasn't entirely sure why Alice seemed so fretful, though. Jasper had been upset last night, but I couldn't imagine him ever getting mad at Alice about anything. It's not like he would blame her. So why was Alice so anxious?

I stuffed the last piece of toast into my mouth and quickly chewed and swallowed. Now all the food was gone. "Let's all get dressed and get going," I said to Edward and Alice.

With Esme sending a concerned look after us, we headed upstairs. Alice disappeared into her room. Edward and I went into Edward's room and I quickly grabbed my clothes to change into. "You can't come to my meeting with Billy," I said as I pulled my shirt over my head. "It's unprofessional."

"Bella – "

I cut him off. I knew Edward was worried about me, but I would be fine at BlackListed. "Edward, you know I'm right. Besides, nothing will happen at the office."

I started brushing my hair. Edward sighed, zipping up his pants. "Okay. You're right. But just – call me during the day today, all right?"

He took a step closer and put his arms around me. "I can't help being worried about you."

I gave him a kiss. "I know. I love you."

Edward's eyes softened. "I love you."

I put my arms around his neck. "You can't stay at the apartment when you drop Alice off, either. She and Jasper need to talk. You should go to your classes."

Edward raised his eyebrows. "You have a lot of orders for me this morning."

I smiled sweetly at him. "Are you going to argue?"

Edward smiled and shook his head. "Nope."

We went downstairs and found Alice already waiting. Edward dropped me off at work before bringing Alice back to our apartment. "I'll see you later and let you know how everything goes," I said to the both of them.

I went inside BlackListed and Edward drove away. I took the elevator to the top floor and found both Billy and Jacob waiting for me in Billy's office. "Bella, what's going on?" Jacob asked immediately, standing when I entered.

I sat down and gestured for him to follow suit. Quickly I ran through everything that had happened. I explained about Jasper, a little about his background, and told them he was bringing in a friend to secure my apartment. "I don't even know what his friend does, really. I think he's black ops, or used to be black ops. Either way, I trust they know what they're doing. You don't have to worry about me at home."

"Bella, I can't help being worried," Billy said. "I never thought it would come to this. Maybe we should turn the case over to someone else. It seems like these guys have focused in on you."

I shook my head, my voice pleading. "Billy, please don't. I understand that you're worried. But I have people worried for me at home. My apartment is going to be safe. I'm going to take precautions when I'm out on my own. I'm getting so close, Billy, I know I am. I'm going to get them."

Billy sighed. "I know you're determined to see this through."

"I could help Bella," Jacob interjected.

I shook my head again. "No, this is my case."

Jacob looked like he was going to say something else, so I held up a hand. "If I need help, or if I just want another pair of eyes to look something over, I'll ask you, Jacob. I promise I will."

Jacob didn't look appeased. "All right," he said grudgingly.

Billy nodded. "I'm glad you made that promise, Bella. We're going to hold you to that. Okay, you can keep working this case. But wrap it up soon, okay? If we get something solid and this turns out to be a big organization like you think it is, we're going to have to turn everything over to the FBI. So make sure your information is good."

I felt relieved. I had tried to project confidence and calm, but I hadn't been sure if Billy would let me stay on the case. "I will. Thanks, Billy."

We all stood, and I prepared to leave. Before I could go, Billy spoke. "Oh, and Bella? I talked to Charlie last night and let him know how things are going over here."

I groaned.

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**Jasper POV**

I knew Peter could tell I was in a bad mood, but there was nothing I could do about that. Peter and I became friends in boot camp. I've only seen him once since I've been back in the States, but he still knows me better than almost anyone.

The truck was quiet. Peter had flown private because of the equipment he was bringing with him. We had loaded it into the back of Esme's SUV and I had started driving to Alice's apartment. "Let me tell you more about what's going on," I said, breaking the silence.

I filled Peter in on Bella's case and the previous threats she had received. By the time I finished, we had arrived at the girls' apartment building. I stopped talking and we unloaded the equipment. Once we were in the apartment, Peter spoke. "Obviously I can turn this place into Fort Knox," he said.

I felt my spirits lift slightly at Peter's cocky tone. Peter had never been haunted by the things we did the same way I was. He had told me that one day I would meet someone and would understand how to move past it. I hadn't known what he meant at the time, but now I think he was talking about Charlotte. Peter's wife Charlotte had waited for him back home throughout everything.

Peter and Charlotte are perfect for each other. Alice might be perfect for me, but I'm definitely not perfect for her. "But," Peter continued. "These guys will still know the women live here. What are you going to do about your girl being in danger?"

I didn't answer. Just then we heard the sound of a key in the lock. Both of our heads shot up. It was Alice who entered, and I froze. I had thought she would be at work. Alice didn't say anything, and we stared at each other for a minute. It was Peter who broke the silence. "You must be Alice," he said.

Alice looked at him and smiled. "You must be Peter."

He grinned at her. "I must be. Uh, I'm going to start working in back," he said.

Peter grabbed a few things and disappeared into Bella's bedroom. His exit barely registered with me. Seeing Alice caused waves of worry and hurt to wash over me. I ignored the hurt and looked at her closely. Alice was fidgeting, and she had very dark circles under her eyes.

I took a step forward without thinking, my hand rising to touch her face, but then I remembered what had happened last night. I stilled.

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**Alice POV**

I managed to drag my eyes away from Jasper when his friend spoke. "You must be Alice."

I smiled at him. Jasper's friend was tall and lanky with hair even lighter than Jasper's. He had a cocky way about him but, like Jasper, he had a dangerous glint in his eye. He was smiling at me now, but I could tell he wasn't someone to be crossed. "You must be Peter."

"I must be."

Peter glanced from me to Jasper. "Uh, I'm going to start working in back," he said, and quickly left the room. He was apparently intuitive enough to give Jasper and I some private time. I could see Jasper hadn't gotten any sleep. He took a step in my direction, but then stopped himself from touching me.

I felt horrible. Jasper's lack of sleep, the uncertainty in his eyes, the hurt he was trying so hard to hide; all of it was my fault. I already know Jasper feels like he's not good enough for me. He's told me just that before, straight out. I've always done what I could to show him that's not true. Now I was afraid I had inadvertently ruined everything.

But more than anything, I felt relief. Jasper was here. He hadn't left me. He was still here. I closed the distance between us and hugged him, my arms around his waist. Jasper put his arms around me as well, but his grip was gentle and very loose. "Hold me tighter," I demanded.

Jasper complied, and I rubbed my face against his chest. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice muffled by his shirt. "I'm sorry."

A sense of calm soothed my tumultuous emotions. I wished Jasper understood he was the only one who could make me feel like this. "I'm sorry," I said again.

Jasper put his hands on my shoulder and pulled back to look at me. "What are you sorry for?" he asked, his brow creased in confusion. "You didn't do anything."

I took a step back, but reached down and laced my fingers through Jasper's. "I don't remember what I said last night," I explained. "But Emmett and Rosalie told me what happened."

Jasper looked away from me. "I didn't mean it," I insisted. "I couldn't."

I placed my hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at me. "Jasper."

His guarded eyes met mine. There was a loud crashing noise, reminding me Jasper and I weren't alone and that now probably wasn't the best time to get in to all of this. "We can talk about this later, when we're alone," I told him.

I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his. "Promise you're not mad at me," I said.

Jasper rested his forehead against mine. "I'm not mad," he affirmed.

But I already knew he wasn't mad at me. He thought I was afraid of him. To my mind, that's much worse.

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**Jasper POV**

I didn't know why Alice kept apologizing, or why she thought I was mad at her. I might be hurt, but I had known something like this would inevitably happen. It's not Alice's fault. Then again, Alice would probably feel bad about hurting anyone's feelings.

There was a sound at the door, distracting me from my thoughts of Alice. I could hear the key in the lock and I expected to see Edward or Bella walk through the door. To my surprise, a man with dark hair and a moustache walked in. He had a key to the apartment in his hand and he looked furious.

I took a step forward, but he seemed oblivious to my presence. "Alice, what the hell is going on," he snapped.

Alice let go of my hand. "Charlie!" she said happily, hugging this stranger.

I frowned. Who the hell was this man, and why was Alice hugging him? "Alice, I know I can trust _you_ to tell me what's happening," he said.

"Everything will be fine," Alice reassured him, pulling back slightly.

The guy – Charlie – finally turned his gaze on me. His arm was still around Alice, and I scowled at him. He glared back at me. "Jasper," Alice said, and my eyes shifted to her. "This is Bella's dad, Charlie Swan."

She turned to Mr. Swan. "Charlie, this is my boyfriend Jasper."

My eyes shot to Alice at her introduction. I had never heard her call me that before. Alice gave me a small smile. Charlie looked me up and down, but the frown didn't leave his face. He didn't look pleased with me.

I relaxed. I knew Bella's father was a cop, and that he was protective of both Bella and Alice. The disapproving, fatherly glare he gave me was what I had always expected from Carlisle. It felt natural to be on the receiving end of it. "What are you doing here?" Alice asked Charlie.

Charlie turned his glare on to Alice, but she smiled innocently at him and he couldn't seem to hold onto his frown. "Billy filled me in on what's been going on with this case of Bells'," Charlie replied.

He didn't look happy. Bella was definitely going to be in trouble later. "Bella just didn't want to worry you," Alice defended her friend.

We all looked over as Peter re-entered the room. "Hey, I thought I heard someone come in," he said.

"Who's this?" Charlie asked Alice, not looking pleased to see yet another man he didn't know in his daughter's home.

To my surprise, I found myself fighting the urge to smile. I liked Charlie. He was very direct. "This is Peter," Alice explained. "A friend of Jasper's."

Charlie glared at me again, then scowled at Peter. Peter looked at me and grinned. "Peter," Alice continued. "This is my roommate's father, Charlie Swan."

Almost as an afterthought she added, "He's a cop. Charlie, Peter flew out here this morning to make our apartment secure."

She waved a hand around. "He brought…equipment, and…stuff."

Charlie looked at Peter. "What are your qualifications?"

Peter's grin widened. "That's classified."

I tried not to smirk as Charlie's frown deepened. "Peter knows what he's doing," Alice rushed to say. "That's why Jasper called him."

This time Charlie looked to me. "What are _your_ qualifications?"

Alice sent me a pleading look, and I knew I couldn't give Charlie a smart-ass reply like Peter had. I sent Peter a quick look. My qualifications were that I could break in anywhere and get to anyone. Aloud, all I said was, "I was Special Forces. Army."

Surprise showed on Charlie's face. "You were a Green Beret?"

I nodded curtly. "I was in the Army before I joined the force," Charlie said. "Got to Lieutenant."

"Jasper here was Major," Peter said lazily.

This time it was me who scowled at Peter. It was unnecessary to divulge that piece of information. Charlie's eyes narrowed and he looked me up and down again. "How old are you?"

"He's twenty-five," Alice said, coming over to stand beside me.

Alice's hand slipped into mine. I could tell Charlie was impressed, and it seemed to war with his desire to glare at Alice and I holding hands. "Maybe Charlie could help you guys set things up," Alice suggested. "At least until Bella comes home. Her meeting with Billy should be over soon."

Peter grinned, and inwardly I cursed. He was getting way too much enjoyment out of watching Charlie stare daggers at me. "Yeah, sure," Peter agreed.

Charlie and I were less enthusiastic. "I suppose I could."

"Okay."


End file.
